Moms and Maids

FMIL is driving me nuts

I am starting to think my FMIL hates me. First FI and I have been together for 7 years, and when we got engaged she just looked at my ring and smiled. Then when we sat down with them to discuss everything she demanded we have black tuxes when FI and I decided to go with chocolate. We told them 200 guests and FMIL said that wouldnt be enough for just their side, my mom trying to keep the peace said let her invite who she wants. When we were discussing the planning with them she asked what we wanted for rehersal, since it was their part to pay for, so we threw out a few ideas and she didnt like them, fine do what ever she wanted. Fast forward to April. I called and asked if she had  made reservations for rehersal yet and where because my parents wanted to know. She haddnt made any reservations and it was my job to do so. Thanks for letting me know. I made reservations and FI decided the menu for Rehersal, whatever. I asked her to have her guest list to me by June 1 so we could get a head count and get them ordered. I FINALLY ordered them last week and her total was 19 invites. Ok, i order the invites and the next day she calls me with 25 more. Apparently she feels that I sprung it on her that I needed the list. Umm I have been bugging her about it for 3 months! Now she has her list, but we cannt send them out because she doesnt have the addresses. She is nice to her other son's wife, but it is like pulling teeth to get her to talk to me. I dont know if i can take it anymore.

Re: FMIL is driving me nuts

  • KrissimarieKrissimarie member
    edited December 2011
    Friday FI and I sat down and used white pages to look up addresses. Some were right, but others ened up being wrong (total of 5) due to people moving recently. FMIL became upset that we decided to start doing the invites, and to top it off she had more to add. FI went over to his parents to get correct addresses and the rest of the list and they got into a huge fight about her treating me with such disrespect. She did call sunday night to try make amends and to show me the momo she bought for the wedding. um nice. atleast it is a new one.
  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    OMG STOP GIVING HER POWER.  Seriously, your actions do not back up your words.  Letting her add more guests and correcting her addressing mistakes only further reinforces that she is in charge.Unless your FI is willing to stand up to her and say no, you will always have problems like this.  Fighting with her about how she disrepects you isn't going to do anything.  She is manipulating you to get what she wants and both of you allow it to happen.good luck
  • edited December 2011
    amen, duckie!
  • TruchanaTruchana member
    edited December 2011
    Ya I agree. She is just manipulating the situation.  Weddings cost money, more guests mean more money.  sit down with your parents and fiance and decide on how many guests you can invite and stick to it.  Give her the number and tell her to invite who she wants.  If she complains, etc.  then have your parents call to confirm the guest count (if they are paying).
  • ang0072ang0072 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My FMIL (just last night as a matter of fact) told me how I should have things in my wedding, and what I needed to be doing. I was sooo mad. My best advice is let it go in one ear and out the other. It's not her wedding it's YOURS!
  • hpdrew15hpdrew15 member
    Third Anniversary First Comment
    edited March 2012
    You think you mother in law is bad, try mine. My fmil told me to shut up the only time that I have mentioned our miscarried son to her.

    Don't let her get to you, just ignore everything that she has to say and plan everything the way you want to. My fiance and I have trimmed her guest list and she doesn't yet know it, certainly not going to tell her.
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