Moms and Maids

For all brides....please read

Hi beautiful brides!We've been planning my daughter's wedding for over a year now, and we're down to 43 days. I want to pass on a few things I've learned.First, this is your wedding. Not your mom's, not his mom's, not your aunt from Wisconsin.....nobody. REMEMBER THAT. Sometimes you might have to give in on some things, because there are some things where people really can get their feelings hurt. But 98% of the time? Yes everyone to death and then do what you want. Use $$ as an excuse, say it's always been your dream, whatever. Food, drink, locations, clothes, etc. They're incidentals. If someone doesn't like it, so be it. Second. Every now and again, go hide for a day, with or without your groom. No internet contact, nothing. Believe me, you need it. Third. Don't do anything "by committee". That leads to nothing but trouble. It's rare that you'd manage to get away without SOMEBODY getting mad. I sent my daughter off to check caterers etc, she came back with a couple options, and my involvement came to "how much is it? Ok, that one". Personally, I think it kept us on speaking terms. Fourth. DO NOT KEEP A COUNTDOWN. It'll make you nuts. Calendar of plans yes, countdown of days no. Last and most important. Whenever you feel your head starting to spin, sit down, breathe, and just remind yourself that whatever else happens, you're marrying the man you love and it's the first day of your life together. Nothing else counts. Nothing else matters. Whether there's ten people or a hundred there---whether your mom's mad because you didn't invite one of her work friends you've never met----whether HIS mom's mad for the same reason---anything that doesn't directly affect the two of you taking your vows just doesn't really matter. Enjoy your days, be happy, and be more in love than you've ever been before. Best wishes.

Re: For all brides....please read

  • sunnysnow44sunnysnow44 member
    edited December 2011
    I just wanted to say thank you for this post. My mom says the exact thing "this is not my wedding it is your wedding, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!"  So I know exactly where you are coming from. I just appreciate it and wanted to say thank you!
    "Gone to Carolina in my mind..." image
  • edited December 2011
    Our daughter's must share the same day!  I will add that we have perfected the "smile sweetly and say that's a lovely idea and will be sure to take it into consideration"  AND  "smile sweetly and say we'll miss you!"  Both of these are followed by another sweet smile and immediately leaving the vicinity or changing the subject.  It will change your life!HAVE FUN!!!!!!!
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for the encouragement.  My mom has been distant this whole time I've been planning and then critical of many of my decisions.  Then my bro sides with them and continues berating me.  Sometime I wish I could just tell them to stay home if they don't like it.  I'm just trying to keep my sanity at times.  My dad is coming around, a little more positive.  I've done the best I could, it's just one day and then looking forward to my honeymoon and life together!  Always thought this would have been a time when my immediate family would wrap their arms around me.  I have found my extended family more warm and doing things that my parents just haven't even considered doing.  Then I get accused of not being considerate and this wedding being all about me.  Its kind of hard for it to be about them when they have chosen not to be involved in my life.  rant rant :) 
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