Possible MOB Outfit Drama

singingjessi14

I love my mom, but we don't always have the same taste in things. So, the other day when she mentioned she was considering wearing a shirt she already had for the wedding that I liked, I was okay with it.

Unfortunetly, a few minutes later, she pulled it out of the closet and it was not the shirt I was picturing. Instead, it is this uber-sparkly black frock that will only look more sparkly in my venue, which I'm afraid will not work well with pictures. I'm pretty laid back about what people wear to the wedding, but I'm not thrilled about this blouse.

I mentioned her wearing the shirt I was thinking of, but she says it's not dressy enough, and I would mention her buying something different, but money's a little tight for my parents right now, and I'm not sure I can afford to buy her something. She may have something else in her closet that would work, but I don't want to insult her possible choice, she can be pretty sensitive about things like this.

Any thoughts?

jagore08

I wasn't too thrilled with my mothers choice of dress for my wedding but it wasn't my decision to make, nor is it yours.  She's a grown woman and unless it's completely inappropriate (think tube top and daisy dukes), then she should be able to wear what she's comfortable in.

tldh

Wasn't wild about the dress my mom wore but I never said a word.  My style is much more conservative than hers - even in her 60s.  In the end, it didn't matter as long as she loved it.

vsgal

Your mother is a grown woman and can dress herself.  You said it.  She can be sensitive about these things.  Why would you stir up drama that can be avoided?

AllAboutTheBenjamin

I am trying so hard to not respond to these posts because they are my VERY least favorite - and I'm shocked at how many people actually freak out about this.  But seriously.

Let your mom wear the damn shirt.  It's not like she's showing up in a clown costume.  She's picked a shirt that she likes and that she feels pretty in.  Let her have that.  The pictures will be fine.

Worry about your own wedding day wardrobe and don't be concerned with what other people choose to wear.  My God.

eta - other dress drama.  Also known as, girls who are asking the same question.

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_fmil-dress-choices

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_hunter-green

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_fmils-dress

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mother-of-bride-dress-2

Sorry if this is mean but seriously.  You're worrying over nothing.

melissamc2

I wish my Mom would choose to wear a super sparkly outfit.  She will not, however, because it's not her - and I wouldn't want her to be in something she didn't feel comfortable/great in.

[Deleted User]

From the title of your thread, it says "possible" MOB outfit drama. I definitely agree with the other ladies, but I also think you should wait to cross that bridge when it gets here bc it sounds like she hasn't completely decided on an outfit yet. So in that case, if she chooses something different, you are overreacting for nothing.

lalap69

She's a grown woman.  She can dress herself.  Don't stir up drama.

Muffin'sMom

I think you have an answer.  As we have said in the past, we are grown women and have dressed without help for years.  While it might not be your style, it is not your call.  She may not be crazy about your style either!  I know that I sometimes look at what my daughter and her friends wear and think...really?  Fashionable clothes just don't work for me lately!!!  I'm doomed to be unfashionable, and COMFORTABLE!

My daughter told me to buy what I felt good wearing.  So I did.

MairePoppy

The MOB and MOG get to pick a dress/outfit that suits their style and matches (in their opinions) the formality of the wedding. They don't have to match or complement the wedding wedding venue, wedding party or anything else. They don't have to get approval on their outfits because they are not in the wedding party and they are adults who have been dressing themselves for decades.

Please don't plan your wedding around a series of photo ops. It's tiresome to hear that the bride is afraid that the moms' outfits will ruin the pictures. When you look at your album years from now, don't you want them to be a reflection of your mom as she really is? Let her wear her sparkly dress and make sure you tell her she looks beautiful in it.

singingjessi14

I did forget to mention in my original post that she's been asking me what I want her to wear for the wedding. I've said that I didn't have much of an opinion on the matter, but when we were discussing the blouse, she was asking for my opinion, which I never got around to giving her after she showed it to me.

I'm really not trying to be rude to my mom, or cause unneccessary drama. I titled the thread "Possible MOB Outfir Drama" because I'm not so sure she's even that set on the outfit; I'm just someone who likes to head off problems and drama before they begin, so I figured I'd get some opinions.

I do appriciate your responses!

melissamc2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_possible-mob-outfit-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:1514ca69-7b10-472d-8799-b9243d9f67e0Post:09f91dc1-b902-432b-9465-20726d25cce9">Re: Possible MOB Outfit Drama</a>:
[QUOTE]I did forget to mention in my original post that she's been asking me what I want her to wear for the wedding.<strong> I've said that I didn't have much of an opinion on the matter</strong>, but when we were discussing the blouse, she was asking for my opinion, <strong>which I never got around to giving her after she showed it to me</strong>. I'm really not trying to be rude to my mom, or cause unneccessary drama. I titled the thread "Possible MOB Outfir Drama" because I'm not so sure she's even that set on the outfit; I'm just someone who likes to head off problems and drama before they begin, so I figured I'd get some opinions. I do appriciate your responses!
Posted by singingjessi14[/QUOTE]


I think those two things are your biggest problem, here.   I'm not trying to be difficult, but how hard would it have been to IMMEDIATELY give her an opinion when you looked at the blouse?  Obviously you had one, so I don't understand the "never got around to" part.  Couple that with already having told her that you didn't have much of an opinion on the matter and, well, she can't read your mind.

If you're comfortable enough to tell her what you really think, then do it - since she asked your opinion.  If not, just be glad that she's coming and enjoy your day. :)

MairePoppy

Ok then, how does this sound. If there is something in mom's closet that you like, you could say something like this, 'Mom you look terrific in the ____________. ' There's a good chance that if it's in her closet, she likes it. Don't push the issue. Don't criticize the dress she has already suggested. If she does wear the black, sparkly dress though, it will not ruin your pictures.

singingjessi14

I never got around to it because she showed it to me just as I was about to get dressed from getting out of the shower (didn't feel like having a discussion in a towel) as she was leaving for work. I live 80 miles away from my parents and left for home before she got back from work. I suppose I could have shot down the blouse on the spot, or called her and shot it down later, but she can be sensitive, so I didn't feel like either option was best.

MairePoppy - I may give this a shot next time I'm down at my parents, since she didn't seem super set on the blouse. Thanks for the advice!

CaseyandSalley

I wouldnt fret about it, only cause Id want my mom to be her most comfortable on my day.

I know shes excited to shop for a new outfit, and Id hope she looks good but shes my mom and I wouldnt change her ever.

And even if she showed me the most ugliest dress Im goin to bite my tongue and smile and say "looks good mom!" cuase obviously she likes it so I cant go against that