Destination Wedding- Bridesmaids role?

mariangel19

One of my best friends is getting married in October 2012- she's having her destination wedding in FL. I am a bridesmaid for her wedding and there are 6 of us total. Long story short- we all live in different places around the country. What is the etiquette for Destination Weddings? Could there still be a Bridal Shower a couple days before the wedding? Any tips are greatly appreciated. Thanks!! 

jagore08

I think having a shower that close to the wedding wouldn't be a good idea because people are aready going to be taking time out to attend the wedding.  Remember the BM don't have to host a shower, nor do they need to be present for it, especially if they don't live anywhere near the bride, if it's hosted by someone else.  The mothers or aunts can host or even just some of her other friends.  A shower is optional and a gift to the bride, not a requirment.

saric83

Skip the shower

saacjw

We had a small shower the weekend before the wedding, BUT, it was for people who were already in town, and was more of a "lets have some cake and play some games and hang out" kind of thing. It was me, the bride's sister, our mothers, the groom and a couple of friends. It was also done with the announcement that there were no expectations of presents, we made a scrapbook instead (they were moving overseas). 

RaptorSLH

Keep in mind anyone invited to the shower must also be invited to the wedding.  For a DW, that would likely be a very small shower.

amanda.johnson4

I was just wondering the same thing-posted about the expense. When it came to my wedding it was local and we did a lot of DIY because of it being low budget so my bridesmaids were very generous and excited about helping and going shopping for things which made the planning process a fun social thing. I have no idea how to act for my friend because they have a wedding planner in FL(their destination) and shes keeping events like dress shopping strictly family. I have no problem with that I just don't know what to do or how to act to help this bride stay stress free and get excited for her big day.

tldh

For my brother and SIL's destination wedding, we did girls night out and guys night out the night before the wedding.  The boys went to a pub and the girls went to a chocolate bar/bakery.  The parents were also there so nobody got stupid drunk.

gananoque

Here's an alternative opinion about the shower: I was a BM for a close friend who got married in our home town even though she and many of the guests live scattered across the continent. So it wasn't really a DW, but there were a lot of out-of-towners. Including the B&G. We decided to host a shower for her anyway and, in consultation with the Bride, invited all the female friends attending the wedding. It was held two nights before the wedding so obviously not every single woman could attend, but many were able to and it was great.

My friend still got the shower experience and got to open the gifts that most other brides enjoy. We combined it with a bachelorette party so she got that experience too. A friend who lived locally hosted a little cocktail shower at her place and then we all went to dinner and out dancing later. It was perfect, nobody had to make mulitple trips anywhere, and it was a great way to kick off the wedding weekend! By the time the wedding happened two days later, many had also attended the rehearsal dinner and people had the chance to get to know each other so we could really hang out and have a good time together at the wedding!