Moms and Maids

Ex-Bridesmaid's boyfriend sending threatening email to me

Long story short, one of my bridesmaids has been awful during the entire planning process. Didnt come to my shower/bach party because of an excuse that I later found out she was lying about. She is also in another wedding (personal attendant) taking place the day after mine. She attended both the shower and bach party of the other girl.
She has been nothing but rude and very selfish during this whole thing, not helping with anything. She doesn't work, and I do, about 50 hrs a week. She always wants me to come to her (about an hour drive away) and right now, (my wedding is in 5 days) I simply dont have time. I also have a toddler at home that I dont get to see as much as I would like due to my hectic work schedule and planning this wedding.
We talked on the phone the other day and she told me she felt like I wasnt accomidating to her and that she felt it would be best to remove herself from the wedding. I was upset and said I had to go and hung up.

No call back. No apology. Nothing. So ... I printed my programs, after I took her name off.

She calls me yesterday, full of attitude, again no sorry, saying I should drive to see her this week (week before my wedding, mind you!) so we can hash things out in person. I feel like at this point, she should come to me. And at least freaking apologize...but nothing.
I couldnt take the stress so I just told her she said she didnt want to be involved so she's not.

Today I get a long email from her boyfriend, calling me all sorts of names, but mostly upset because apparently HE paid for her dress and shoes and he's pissed off that he invested money for nothing, and he blamed it all on me. I responded that SHE is the one who kicked herself out, so he should confront her about the money. I was shaking I was so angry. I felt like I was in middle school again. He called me all kinds of names, and just really showed what an ugly person he is. I'm so disgusted with this behavior. My fiance would have never ever emailed HER and said anything negative. I dont know why I had to get attacked.
I dont know what I'm looking for here, maybe a similar experience? I feel terrible to shut the door on a friendship Ive had since grade school but I think we've just changed. I'm trying to get this out of my head right now because I want to stay stress free before the big day but I am just still so upset about the whole thing. Who drops out of a wedding a week before?! Ugh!! Thanks for letting me vent....

Re: Ex-Bridesmaid's boyfriend sending threatening email to me

  • I'm not going to touch the friendship stuff and your too-high expectations problems, since I'm sure the other ladies on this board will address that handily.

    What I will say is that in your subject heading, you claimed that the email from the boyfriend was threatening, but what you describe in the post itself is just...insulting; it doesn't involve any threats.  So all I will say is what I tell everyone who describes situations like this- if the email was actually threatening, and if you feel that there is any possibility that the boyfriend will act on the threat, I urge you to report the email to your local police so that they can determine whether anything needs to be addressed.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited September 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_ex-bridesmaids-boyfriend-sending-threatening-email-to-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:179f0c75-644c-46d0-b063-956daae0ea4fPost:70f2fce2-f5b2-4736-adfe-bf43b460b71b">Ex-Bridesmaid's boyfriend sending threatening email to me</a>:
    [QUOTE]Long story short, one of my bridesmaids has been awful during the entire planning process. Didnt come to my shower/bach party because of an excuse that I later found out she was lying about. She is also in another wedding (personal attendant) taking place the day after mine. She attended both the shower and bach party of the other girl. She has been nothing but rude and very selfish during this whole thing, not helping with anything. She doesn't work, and I do, about 50 hrs a week. She always wants me to come to her (about an hour drive away) and right now, (my wedding is in 5 days) I simply dont have time. I also have a toddler at home that I dont get to see as much as I would like due to my hectic work schedule and planning this wedding. We talked on the phone the other day and she told me she felt like I wasnt accomidating to her and that she felt it would be best to remove herself from the wedding. I was upset and said I had to go and hung up. No call back. No apology. Nothing. So ... I printed my programs, after I took her name off. She calls me yesterday, full of attitude, again no sorry, saying I should drive to see her this week (week before my wedding, mind you!) so we can hash things out in person. I feel like at this point, she should come to me. And at least freaking apologize...but nothing. I couldnt take the stress so I just told her she said she didnt want to be involved so she's not. Today I get a long email from her boyfriend, calling me all sorts of names, but mostly upset because apparently HE paid for her dress and shoes and he's pissed off that he invested money for nothing, and he blamed it all on me. I responded that SHE is the one who kicked herself out, so he should confront her about the money. I was shaking I was so angry. I felt like I was in middle school again. He called me all kinds of names, and just really showed what an ugly person he is. I'm so disgusted with this behavior. My fiance would have never ever emailed HER and said anything negative. I dont know why I had to get attacked. I dont know what I'm looking for here, maybe a similar experience? I feel terrible to shut the door on a friendship Ive had since grade school but I think we've just changed. I'm trying to get this out of my head right now because I want to stay stress free before the big day but I am just still so upset about the whole thing. Who drops out of a wedding a week before?! Ugh!! Thanks for letting me vent....
    Posted by AshleyMaeBlank[/QUOTE]

    Is the boyfriend actually threatening you? If he is, turn over the emails to the police and let them handle it. Otherwise, don't respond to his messages. He isn't going to believe your side of the story over hers, anyway.

    Here's the problem: it is a myth that the bms are supposed to help the bride plan or do wedding related chores. That is the responsibility of the bride and groom only. You shouldn't make wedding plans that the two of you can't execute on your own, no matter how many hours you work.

    BMs also are not required to throw or attend showers and bps. Nor does she have to explain why she attended parties for the other bride. Maybe she lives closer and it was more convenient for her or maybe she feels closer to the other friend. She does not owe you an explanation.

    If you confronted your friend about her lack of interest in your wedding, you were wrong. If she got upset that you aren't making enough time for her, she is wrong. It's sad that a long friendship is ending because each of you is waiting for the other to apologize. That's probably not going to happen, right?
                       
  • She actually lives 10 min from my shower location and 2 hours from her other friends. She has been friends with me since 3rd grade, and friends with the other for about 4 years.

    And YES he DID threaten me. He said if I ever contact his girlfriend again (I never contacted her thru this, mind you) that "we will just see what happens"
    Maybe it doesnt sound like a threat to you but it does to me.

    So some of you are saying that to agree to be in someones wedding merely is just as a prop? They dont have to be involved AT ALL?
    I think that's ridiculous. Im not asking for her to help me every step of the way, but this chick gets mad if I even bring up the word "wedding".
  • And I'm sorry but "too high expectations? Because I want her to drop her attitude when she talks to me? And not LIE to me? Isnt that required of every friendship?
    I'm not going to ask someone to be my BM and then just have them show up at the wedding as a prop. Thats so ridiculous.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_ex-bridesmaids-boyfriend-sending-threatening-email-to-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:179f0c75-644c-46d0-b063-956daae0ea4fPost:2d0de11d-0b09-482e-85a1-49b97bf3e727">Re: Ex-Bridesmaid's boyfriend sending threatening email to me</a>:
    [QUOTE]She actually lives 10 min from my shower location and 2 hours from her other friends. She has been friends with me since 3rd grade, and friends with the other for about 4 years. And YES he DID threaten me. He said if I ever contact his girlfriend again (I never contacted her thru this, mind you) that "we will just see what happens" Maybe it doesnt sound like a threat to you but it does to me. So some of you are saying that to agree to be in someones wedding merely is just as a prop? They dont have to be involved AT ALL? I think that's ridiculous.<strong> Im not asking for her to help me every step of the way, but this chick gets mad if I even bring up the word "wedding".
    </strong>Posted by AshleyMaeBlank[/QUOTE]

    Some women are just not into weddings.  Shocker I know, but they are out there.

    No, they will not be props in your wedding not unless you start treating them as such.  The reason you have BMs and MOHs is because you want to honor your nearest and dearest on the day of your wedding.  By picking those individuals to stand up next to you is making it known that these are the women that are most important to you in your life and that you could not imagine them not standing next to you as you marry your FI.

    The point of a bridal party is not for them to help you plan your wedding or throw parties in your honor.  If they wish to do those things great, if they don't, oh well.

    And really it doesn't matter who was friends first or who lives closer, etc as to why she went to one party or another, she has the right to choose what she does and when and maybe your party fell on a day or time that just didn't work for her or maybe she just didn't want to go.

    As for her boyfriend, if you really feel that he threatend you take it to the police.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_ex-bridesmaids-boyfriend-sending-threatening-email-to-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:179f0c75-644c-46d0-b063-956daae0ea4fPost:2d0de11d-0b09-482e-85a1-49b97bf3e727">Re: Ex-Bridesmaid's boyfriend sending threatening email to me</a>:
    [QUOTE] So some of you are saying that to agree to be in someones wedding merely is just as a prop? They dont have to be involved AT ALL? I think that's ridiculous. Im not asking for her to help me every step of the way, but this chick gets mad if I even bring up the word "wedding".
    Posted by AshleyMaeBlank[/QUOTE]

    No, the people in your wedding are not just props.  That doesn't mean, however, that they are your slave labor or that they are obligated to do anything for you.

    Honestly, it sounds like this friendship has run its course.  As others have said, just let it go, and save anything her boyfriend sends you that could be construed as threatening, but do not respond directly to him.  If you truly feel threatened, notify the police.

    I've notice in all of your posts that you tend to be very melodramatic.  Have you ever considered dialing it down a bit?  I think you will find that your interactions with others are more positive that way.
  • LOL my posts. Haha, I've only made 2 others. Melodramatic in what way? One post was about me thinking of another name for a ring bearer in which everone completely mocked me and made total assumptions (something I find often on these boards), one post was about having bridesmaids walk up alone- in which I explained after a few comments that the ladies that commented were right.
    Isnt this a place where I can ask questions to a variety of women with a variety of answers/opinions? Now you are going to comment on the WAY in which I post a question? Have you been married? I'm sure you didnt stress out AT ALL when someone drops out one week before the big day. I'm sure you wouldve been fine with that and smiled the entire time. This has me so stressed out, not to be melodramatic or anythign though. Yikes. So much for f*cking support.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_ex-bridesmaids-boyfriend-sending-threatening-email-to-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:179f0c75-644c-46d0-b063-956daae0ea4fPost:2d0de11d-0b09-482e-85a1-49b97bf3e727">Re: Ex-Bridesmaid's boyfriend sending threatening email to me</a>:
    [QUOTE]She actually lives 10 min from my shower location and 2 hours from her other friends. She has been friends with me since 3rd grade, and friends with the other for about 4 years. <strong>And YES he DID threaten me. He said if I ever contact his girlfriend again (I never contacted her thru this, mind you) that "we will just see what happens" Maybe it doesnt sound like a threat to you but it does to me. </strong>So some of you are saying that to agree to be in someones wedding merely is just as a prop? They dont have to be involved AT ALL? I think that's ridiculous. Im not asking for her to help me every step of the way, but this chick gets mad if I even bring up the word "wedding".
    Posted by AshleyMaeBlank[/QUOTE]

    That does sound like a threat to me, or at least a warning. It's creepy. If you have any reason to be afraid her boyfriend might harm you, tell the police.

    Being asked to be in someone's wedding is an honor, reserved for the nearest and dearest friends and relatives. MOH and BM roles are ceremonial and have no requirements other than purchasing the agreed upon dress, showing up, on time, for the ceremony. That's it. It's nice if they <em>volunteer</em> to help, but they should not be<em> expected</em> to do so. The fact that you think this is ridiculous might be at the root of the problem.
                       
  • In Response to Re:ExBridesmaid's boyfriend sending threatening email to me:[QUOTE]And I'm sorry but "too high expectations? Because I want her to drop her attitude when she talks to me? And not LIE to me? Isnt that required of every friendship?I'm not going to ask someone to be my BM and then just have them show up at the wedding as a prop. Thats so ridiculous. Posted by AshleyMaeBlank[/QUOTE]

    Yes, those are obviously the parts of your post that involved unrealistic expectations. Eyeroll.

    And you're seriously wondering why folls are calling you melodramatic?

    I seriously mean this absolutely nicely being stressed and upset is always at least partially a choice. You can't control what the world throws at you, but you can control how you react to it. You can decide your wedding day is ruined because your BM dropped out or because her boyfriend is a jerk. Or you you can remember that other peoples words can't hurt you and that a week from now you'll be married after having an awesome wedding surrounded by people who care about you. Your choice.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_ex-bridesmaids-boyfriend-sending-threatening-email-to-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:179f0c75-644c-46d0-b063-956daae0ea4fPost:589217c6-60db-412f-912f-aa1190019897">Re: Ex-Bridesmaid's boyfriend sending threatening email to me</a>:
    [QUOTE]And I'm sorry but "too high expectations? Because I want her to drop her attitude when she talks to me? And not LIE to me? Isnt that required of every friendship? I'm not going to ask someone to be my BM and then just have them show up at the wedding as a prop. Thats so ridiculous.
    Posted by AshleyMaeBlank[/QUOTE]

    At the risk of being called "ridiculous," I think you need to just let it go. You obviously don't approve of how she behaved. We can tell you up and down that bridesmaids have no obligations except showing up on the day, in the required attire, in time for hair/makeup/pictures, but you won't buy it. Your mind is made up. Guess what? So is hers. She thinks you are being uncaring/rude/demanding/etc. You aren't going to change her mind by saying "no, you're wrong." There are no requirements for friendship - either you accept her and she accepts you or you don't. At this point, it seems both of you have put rules into this friendship and neither of you accept the terms, so...it's done.

    Your wedding is in a week. Don't contact her. Bring the email from the boyfriend to the police. Stop getting angry at people who don't agree with you on the message boards. Forget about it and enjoy your wedding. I know it's upsetting - I'd be devistated. But I'd also put my energy into trying to forget it and enjoy my wedding rather than putting my energy into being upset and seeking vindication. You won't get it. So....let it go.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_ex-bridesmaids-boyfriend-sending-threatening-email-to-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:179f0c75-644c-46d0-b063-956daae0ea4fPost:19a59a11-a375-4520-9303-109c2f16dd83">Re: Ex-Bridesmaid's boyfriend sending threatening email to me</a>:
    [QUOTE]LOL my posts. Haha, I've only made 2 others. Melodramatic in what way? One post was about me thinking of another name for a ring bearer in which everone completely mocked me and made total assumptions (something I find often on these boards), one post was about having bridesmaids walk up alone- in which I explained after a few comments that the ladies that commented were right. Isnt this a place where I can ask questions to a variety of women with a variety of answers/opinions? Now you are going to comment on the WAY in which I post a question? Have you been married? I'm sure you didnt stress out AT ALL when someone drops out one week before the big day. I'm sure you wouldve been fine with that and smiled the entire time. This has me so stressed out, not to be melodramatic or anythign though. Yikes. So much for f*cking support.
    Posted by AshleyMaeBlank[/QUOTE]

    I'm sorry but you need to get a grip here.  A BM dropping out on you a week before is nothing to get stressed about.  Your DOC or a vendor dropping you as a client or going out of business would be something to stress about.

    In the month before my wedding, my four closest friends had to call to say they weren't coming. One is a police dispatcher whose department had a huge fire to deal with so her vacation that had been granted seven months before was taken away, another was hospitalized for a lupus flareup, one had emergency back surgery and one didn't want to leave her mom who would be starting chemo for breast cancer.  I do know what it is like to not have a few of your closest friends at your wedding.  You know what...I ended up married all the same.  It is not a big deal.  I would be more worried about fixing this friendship because I have to say, I would have to be beyond pissed off to have DH call a friend to tell her to back the hell off.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • *facepalm*
    Praying for a miracle!
  • That sucks she dropped out the week before your wedding; it sucks when things we can't plan for happen. I'm sorry it happened to you.

    That said, let the friendship go. I know you've been friends for decades and we don't know the depth of your friendship but it sounds like it's time to just move on. It's never easy to lose a friend, especially one you've known for that long, but people change and grow apart as they age. It sucks but it happens. 

    Don't send anything back to them; just cease contact and if you think the boyfriend is the type to actually do something other than talk then take the email to the police. I doubt they'll give you a restraining order but since your wedding is next week at least there's already something on file in case he shows up looking for a confrontation. Honestly, if it was me I would just never contact them again and live my life from there but I don't know the guy and what he's capable of. I have met a few people in my life who I wouldn't be surprised to hear pulled something like that so if it was one of them my advice would be different. Most people are just talk and he was probably blowing off steam; not saying he was allowed to talk to you that way but most likely you'll never hear from them again. 

    Your wedding is a week away; you have more important things to focus on. Forget about this friendship and just move on with your life. Living well is the best revenge; show her that her dropping out won't stop you from living a really awesome life. 

  • Honestly, I would be more hurt if a bridesmaid didn't come to my bachelorette party/bridal shower for reasons that weren't true. If she's not apologizing and being rude to you I would just forget it and just enjoy your wedding. Its a week away, this is the time to tidy up the loose ends, sit back and  enjoy this happy time in your life. You don't need people in your life that will treat you that way and if down the road (after the wedding) you hash things out and work on your friendship, that would be great I'm sure! A friend of mine had 3 bridesmaids drop out right before her wedding and two or three years later they rekindled their friendship and its back to normal. So again I will say, enjoy your day! Dont worry about them now. 

    As for the boyfriend, I say if he says anything else I would for sure go to someone about it. You cant just threat someone like that. 

    Good luck to you and congrats on your wedding! :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to Re:ExBridesmaid's boyfriend sending threatening email to me:[QUOTE]LOL my posts. Haha, I've only made 2 others. Melodramatic in what way? One post was about me thinking of another name for a ring bearer in which everone completely mocked me and made total assumptions something I find often on these boards, one post was about having bridesmaids walk up alone in which I explained after a few comments that the ladies that commented were right.Isnt this a place where I can ask questions to a variety of women with a variety of answers/opinions? Now you are going to comment on the WAY in which I post a question? Have you been married? I'm sure you didnt stress out AT ALL when someone drops out one week before the big day. I'm sure you wouldve been fine with that and smiled the entire time. This has me so stressed out, not to be melodramatic or anythign though. Yikes. So much for fcking support. Posted by AshleyMaeBlank[/QUOTE]

    Hi Ashley, I'm sorry that you are so stressed right before your wedding. I agree that she took herself out of the wedding and that's her problem she now has a dress she will never use. Some people just aren't worth investing time in when all they bring is drama.

    As far as people jumping on others and being rude, I think you will find more support in your wedding month board. All of the people in that board is a bride getting married the same month as you and is going through similar trials and such. I'm sorry that you came to vent about something only for others to be bratty back to you.

    I wish you a beautiful wedding day!
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_ex-bridesmaids-boyfriend-sending-threatening-email-to-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:179f0c75-644c-46d0-b063-956daae0ea4fPost:2d0de11d-0b09-482e-85a1-49b97bf3e727">Re: Ex-Bridesmaid's boyfriend sending threatening email to me</a>:
    [QUOTE]She actually lives 10 min from my shower location and 2 hours from her other friends. She has been friends with me since 3rd grade, and friends with the other for about 4 years. <strong>And YES he DID threaten me. He said if I ever contact his girlfriend again (I never contacted her thru this, mind you) that "we will just see what happens" Maybe it doesnt sound like a threat to you but it does to me</strong>. So some of you are saying that to agree to be in someones wedding merely is just as a prop? They dont have to be involved AT ALL? I think that's ridiculous. Im not asking for her to help me every step of the way, but this chick gets mad if I even bring up the word "wedding".
    Posted by AshleyMaeBlank[/QUOTE]


    Print out the email and bring it to the police. Even if you don't think he'll follow through, they can create a record that any future threats can be filed with and be pulled if anything does happen.

    It does sound like this girl is being an energy suck in this situation, but as other posters said she doesnt "have to" attend any of the events or do anything else but show up when she's supposed to. They are basically guests of honor and to make the GOH do work for the party isn't right.

    You can be miffed that she didn't participate the way you wanted, but you shouldn't have brought that up to her (idk if you did or not) as it is something you would be able to get over easily.  Sure it sucks she didn't go to your parties, but you can move past that eventually too. BUT she should be understanding of how busy you are with this wedding that you don't have time to lose 2 hours of just driving so close to the wedding.

    Sorry your situation sucks. Try and resolve it as best as you can, but don't let it ruin your day!
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Bridesmaid / slave She probably snapped because she has two brides making ridiculous demands of her, and constantly nattering at her about wedding stuff. Did she handle it well? No. But neither did you. Birds of a feather.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

    image

    Anniversary

  • Yeah it sucks. Here's what you do: lose her phone number, block the email address or create a filter. If the emails continue print them off with the full headers google email headers and give it to the cops. Then you wash your hands of this messy drama and focus on what matters. You are getting married soon. The rest is noise. Don't waste your time on pointless drama.
    ~* Matron of Honor *~

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  • So sorry you had to go through that!! I say if you gave them the honor at standing next to you on your wedding day the least they can do is help you, I'm not saying plan the whole freaking wedding like these ppl are trying to say your doing, which I doubt. But I'm sorry BRIADSMAIDS DO HAVE A ROLE THROUGH OUT THE WHOLE planning not only the day of the wedding you can even search up briadsmaids duties they have a whole list of things that are expected from them! http://www.bridesmaid101.com/bridesmaid_duties.html
  • In Response to Re:ExBridesmaid's boyfriend sending threatening email to me:[QUOTE]So sorry you had to go through that!!
    I say if you gave them the honor at standing next to you on your wedding day the least they can do is help you, I'm not saying plan the whole freaking wedding like these ppl are trying to say your doing, which I doubt. But I'm sorry BRIADSMAIDS DO HAVE A ROLE THROUGH OUT THE WHOLE planning not only the day of the wedding you can even search up briadsmaids duties they have a whole list of things that are expected from them!



    <a href="http://www.bridesmaid101.com/bridesmaid_duties.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.bridesmaid101.com/bridesmaid_duties.html</a> Posted by rosemem[/QUOTE]

    FFS, NO. No, no, no, no. Sh!t like that was created by the wedding industry to make money and get brides to think that they are Queens of the Universe for however long their engagement is. Forget all about those articles and remember bridesmaids are friends and family... NOT slaves and free labor!

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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    Mom to D.A (11.09) and 3 beautiful angels (06.08, 03.11, 07.12)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_ex-bridesmaids-boyfriend-sending-threatening-email-to-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:179f0c75-644c-46d0-b063-956daae0ea4fPost:19a59a11-a375-4520-9303-109c2f16dd83">Re: Ex-Bridesmaid's boyfriend sending threatening email to me</a>:
    [QUOTE]LOL my posts. Haha, I've only made 2 others. Melodramatic in what way? One post was about me thinking of another name for a ring bearer in which everone completely mocked me and made total assumptions (something I find often on these boards), one post was about having bridesmaids walk up alone- in which I explained after a few comments that the ladies that commented were right. Isnt this a place where I can ask questions to a variety of women with a variety of answers/opinions? Now you are going to comment on the WAY in which I post a question? Have you been married? I'm sure you didnt stress out AT ALL when someone drops out one week before the big day. I'm sure you wouldve been fine with that and smiled the entire time. This has me so stressed out, not to be melodramatic or anythign though. Yikes. So much for f*cking support.
    Posted by AshleyMaeBlank[/QUOTE]

    <div>Wow. I don't get why everyone is bashing you on this. I completely take your side on this. My wedding is in a few months and I've had my share of bridesmaids being unenthusiastic and bailing on me. I think if you aren't excited about it and wanting to be there for the bride then just don't accept the offer... simple as that. To accept and then make the bride miserable is just mean.</div>
  • for everyone bashing this bride to be!!
    http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/maid-of-honor-duties-in-detail.aspx

    The Knot has a list of MOH duties!! I expected my bridesmaids to attend my dress shopping I expect them to do their best to help if asked and to attend parties!!!! I also expect them NOT to lie!

    I find it funny that everyone says these girls are expected to do nothing but show up and then go back claiming they aren't just props. Google search bridesmaid duties and you will get over 1,140,000 results.
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