Moms and Maids

How Can I Get Fiance's Mom Involved In Planning?

Hello Everyone!

I was wondering if anyone has advice on how I can get my fiance's mother involved in the wedding planning? She really wants to be involved but it is hard because she lives 2 hours away and I just don't know what things to give her to help out. Does anyone have suggestions or ideas on how she could help out with the planning from so far away?

Re: How Can I Get Fiance's Mom Involved In Planning?

  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Pick up the phone and talk to her about the things you are considering.  Use her as a sounding board and listen to her opinions.  Being involved does not mean being free labor.
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    AKA GoodLuckBear14
  • edited December 2011
    Take her out to lunch one weekend and chat with her about things.  I don't think MILs always expect to have jobs to do (or necessarily even want them) but most people like to have their opinion asked and valued.
  • AiobheannAiobheann member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto pps. I tried to involve mine by sending her emails with updates and I asked for suggestions (especially on things that she was good at). My MIL hates us, but atleast she had the option to be involved and get her opinions heard.
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  • ashlidieashlidie member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    My recommendation is to limit FMIL's involvement to just talking and asking for specific opinions.  If you include her too much, she will openly share her views and it gets difficult to explain that her ideas are not what you are looking for without hurting her feelings.

    my FMIL is a great woman and we have the best relationship, but out of the blue we butt heads in our opinions of colors and the guest list was a HUGE point of contention (we are paying ourselves mind you).  
    June 2013 - Shoe Inspiration
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  • edited December 2011
    I have a simular situation except the wedding is almost 3 hours away in my home town where my folks are and my Future Mother In law lives 5 minutes away.  but because it's in my home town I've been doing alot of the planning with my mom.  Plust my fiance's mom has been working on moving their buisnesses to one location, and dealing with things going on at the church they started. 

    the way I get my fiance's mom involved is talking with her and she's my voice of reason when I need opions on how to deal with people.  Today she talked me way down about a sitaution i was having with things. 

    Talking with her about the wedding and asking her opinion on things really helps our relationship as we sometimes talk about some deep things.
    "Faith Hope and Love are some good things he gave us, and the greatest is Love"
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