got it thanks

dreamy232

thanks

jerseydevil

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-less?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:20b9c5f6-cb30-4bb2-b28a-65d60188982fPost:b60e89ca-e8f7-40ad-853f-21de380e4884">MOH-less</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I have been engaged for a few months now and have a 2012 wedding booked.  We are almost set on our BP- we each decided on asking 3 friends + our new bro/sis-in laws, making 4 on each side.  The dilemma is that I am not sure which friend to "promote" to MOH.  Friend "A" is close to both my fiance and I, but I have only known her for 2 years.  Friends "B and C" I have known for 7 years- we've had our share of ups and downs but we've remained close during my relationship- enough that I definately want them in the BP- but we don't get together often and I'm afraid one of them will "drop the ball" and not be 100% reliable if given the MOH title.  I don't know how I am going to make this decision! Any advice?
Posted by dreamy232[/QUOTE]

My advice - don't choose a MOH, you don't have to. If you do, choose the friend who you feel closest with.

What is there to "drop the ball" on as a MOH? All she needs to do is buy a dress and stand next to you on your wedding day. Anything else that MOHs do is optional

Simply Fated

If you wedding isn't until 2012, you can wait. A lot can happen from now to then.
That's my advice. To wait.
Also, try not to think of it as a "promotion" and more like an honour. IMO, you're thinking of it too much like a job promotion between two colleagues and using things like who has worked for the company longer and who might "drop the ball." Shake those ideas off. Wait a year, then revisit this.
All they have to do is buy a dress and show up. I'm sure they are both perfectly capable of doing that. So you need to look at it another way... who do you want standing up there?
This is your wedding not a career.  Don't think of it like who deserves to be standing up there, but who do you want standing up there.

AutumnFair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-less?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:20b9c5f6-cb30-4bb2-b28a-65d60188982fPost:b60e89ca-e8f7-40ad-853f-21de380e4884">MOH-less</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I have been engaged for a few months now and have a 2012 wedding booked.  We are almost set on our BP- we each decided on asking 3 friends + our new bro/sis-in laws, making 4 on each side.  The dilemma is that I am not sure which friend to "promote" to MOH.  Friend "A" is close to both my fiance and I, but I have only known her for 2 years.  Friends "B and C" I have known for 7 years- we've had our share of ups and downs but we've remained close during my relationship- enough that I definately want them in the BP- but we don't get together often and I'm afraid one of them will "drop the ball" and not be 100% reliable if given the MOH title.  I don't know how I am going to make this decision! Any advice?
Posted by dreamy232[/QUOTE]

<div>Easy, just don't have one. It isn't necessary, anyone can sign the marriage license. As for the being reliable for the title MOH, what do you mean? All any of your WP has to do is get the attire and be there the day of your wedding.</div><div>
</div><div> If anyone MOH or not wants to help you then that's great but the title MOH is only reflected by the person closest to the Bride not how much that person is going to do for the Bride. </div><div>
</div><div>One more thing I will suggest, please hold off on officially asking people until your 8-10 months out, I advise this because you will see SO many post on here regretting asking early and now want to kick out of friend. So please, please, wait, I hope not to see you with this problem in the future.</div>

deepcovejackie

It's too early to choose a wedding party yet.  Also, re-think and lower your expectations of a MOH.  It's an honour bestowed upon an important person in your life, not a job with a list of responsibilities.

heyimbren

You should make this decision by waiting until you're a few months away from your date, then choose your WP. Then ask the girl who you're closest to (or guy) to be your MoH. Are you familiar with Anne of Green Gables? Choose your kindred spirit. Do not worry about anyone "dropping the ball" because the only way they can really do that is by 1) telling you that you shouldn't get married or 2) not showing up at all without telling you. Or maybe like trying to steal your FI or kill you or something like that.

lalap69

It's wayyyyy too early to be asking your WP for a 2012 wedding.  Wait until you're NO MORE than a year away to ask.  Relationships change.  Check out the WP board for endless posts by brides who asked too early and regretted it.

aerinpegadrak

MOH should be your very closest friend, regardless of any other considerations.  It's 3am.  You have to bury a body.  Knee-jerk reaction, who do you call first?  That's your MOH.

And ditto the others, don't ask until you're within a year of your wedding.  There's no good reason to ask so early, and a million good reasons to wait.

Lauriac

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-less?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:20b9c5f6-cb30-4bb2-b28a-65d60188982fPost:7fdb952a-930c-489b-9f7e-803caaf10218">Re: MOH-less</a>:
[QUOTE]It's 3am.  You have to bury a body.  Knee-jerk reaction, who do you call first?  That's your MOH.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

That would have been H. My MOH is too tiny and panicky to help bury a body.

Back to the matter at hand: wait until you're less than a year out from the wedding. I picked too soon and there was one girl I barely spoke to by the time the wedding rolled around and another girl I was really close with that I wish I had asked.

Soon2BMrsClay

In the end you just have to go with what your gut instincts tell you; it's rarely wrong

kimp67

Yep, what pps said, WAIT!!!  You can think about this for a year, THEN decide.  It should be the person in the world that you feel the closest to, other than your FI.