Moms and Maids

FSIL - yes or no?

Our wedding is March next year and we have not yet decided on the wedding party. 

I have two sisters, who will both be in my bridal party. My best friend, who lives with my parents at the moment, will be my maid of honour. Then I have three other very dear friends who I would very much like to have. But that is six girls, which seems a lot for a wedding of around 130 guests. 

The other consideration is that my FI has two younger brothers and an older sister. His brothers will be groomsmen. I know that FI could have his sister as a groomswoman, but honestly, she is a pretty traditional/conservative girl and I don't think she would enjoy that. I do think she would probably be pleased to be asked to be in my bridal party, and FMIL would like it too, I think. 

We are not super close, but I like her enough. If you were me, would you have her in the party, even if it means 7 girls in a wedding of only 130 guests? 

Re: FSIL - yes or no?

  • bstentbstent member
    edited December 2011
    I personally don't think the number matters, as long as the people have been chosen for the right reason. I don't think it's necessary to invite FSIL, but I think it's a really nice gesture, especially if she's someone that you like and would like to be closer to. FI invited my brother (I didn't ask him to), who he gets along with well but isn't super close to, and I thought it was a really nice gesture and meant a lot to me. But again, it isn't necessary and none of my family members would have been hurt or upset if he didnt ask him.
  • em01092em01092 member
    edited December 2011
    Well shucks, I'm screwed. We're inviting 80 people and I have 6 bridesmaids...

    Really the numbers don't matter. You and your FI's sides don't need to be even and you can have whoever you want. You don't have to ask your FSIL, but it is a nice gesture, like PP said. Sometimes for the sake of keeping the peace, it is just better to go ahead and ask. In this case, since you seem to get along with her, I would ask. If you had issues or had never even met, I'd think differently. 

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  • edited December 2011
    We had about 130 guests and we each had 6 attendants. I don't think it is too many. You definitely shouldn't feel obligated to include your FSIL, but if you get along with her and like her, I say why not? I had my SIL as a BM. We aren't super close, mainly b/c we lived out of state for 2 years, our age difference, and our busy lives. But if you aren't close with her or don't want her to be a BM, then like you said, she can stand on your FI's side. Or you could have her be a reader or something else for the ceremony.
  • edited December 2011
    If all the other siblings (both yours and his) are in the wedding, I'd ask her so as not to slight her.
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks girls. Allie, yes I think this is probably one of the biggest reasons I WILL ask her, so she is not the only sibling not in the party. And bstent, yes I do also hope that it will be a chance to get closer to her. And, not gonna lie, I wouldn't mind the bonus points from FMIL! 
  • edited December 2011
    I think it is a good idea to ask her.  It will help her feel more included if all of the other siblings are in the wedding party.  Also, it potentially is a nice way for you two to bond.  I really like FSIL but because of distance, age difference and busy lives we are not as close as we would like.  There was no doubt in my mind I wanted her to be a BM because she is one of the people FI and I really want to be standing by our side when we get married. 
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  • edited December 2011
    My bridal party is 8 which is 1 MOH, 6 BM's and a man of honor as well.  And I was pretty much guilted into adding my brother and his girlfriend to the bridal party.  I barely know her but that's the way it goes.  Just add her, besides, don't you think she would feel left out being the only sibling not in the WP?
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  • Bett2012Bett2012 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I think 6 maids is crazy, so I don't see a huge deal about upping it to 7... though I'm very quiet and shy - I'll be having only 3, including my FSIL :)  It's a great way to start off with a good relationship (even if it doesn't end there) rather than condemming it from the beginning because of hurt feelings of not being involved.

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  • edited December 2011
    I'm not asking my fiance's sister. We're not very close and she will be 13. I hate the idea of jr bridesmaid so she is doing a reading
  • edited December 2011
    My bridal party consits on 7 girls-I did ask my FSIL to be one of them, and I am not close with her.  She's younger and has been away at school, but I personally feel like we will be family and maybe with her being in the wedding, that can give us the chance to bond a little more. 
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