Moms and Maids

Arrrrrrrrggghh

ever just wanted to scream really loudly from frustration? so 27 days before my wedding my FMIL informs me that she bought her dress and its WHITE and all her sisters will be wearing WHITE! last i heard i was the one getting married...what do i do?

Re: Arrrrrrrrggghh

  • girl4182girl4182 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited February 2013
    I have no idea whar you would do about that. I don't think there is much you can do other let it roll of your back. Their dress colour choice will reflect poorly on them at the wedding not you. I'm sorry your in laws are being so difficult. Out of all of the things not to do at a wedding I thought that was the one thing everyone knew about!
  • your right! i even told my.own mom she could wear any color but white..sigh i guess itll just have to be another thing she does that i have to overlook!.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited February 2013
    You do nothing. My stepmother wore a long, ivory, sparkly gown (that she married my father in a few months before....so yes, her wedding dress) at my wedding, and I never said a word. It's not ideal, but it's not the end of the world, either. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • You let this slide. 

    It will make you look like the bigger person, while she and her sisters will look like petty, attention-seekers. Trust me, people will be judging the HELLL out of them not you.
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  • I would be annoyed, but I think it's best to let it slide. Act graciously and they will be the ones who will be side-eyed at the reception, not you.

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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I know this is grasping at straws, but is it possible that this is a family tradition? It's very strange that FMIL sisters would join in, otherwise.

    If you think they're trying to get your goat, don't give it to them. Ignore it. They're going to look foolish and there will be pictures to document their weirdness.

    Rise above.
                       
  • Agree with the others.  Let it go and say nothing.  You will come looking rather grand for it.

    Your FMIL and her sisters surely know this is in bad taste and are doing it anyway.  Your guests WILL chatter about it and judge them for it.  Don't worry about it, you can't do anything anyway.
  • You can't control people that are that committed to making a$$e$ of themselves.  Just enjoy your day, don't pay them any mind, and try not to smirk when you catch people giving them the stink eye.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

  • There's nothing you can do.  Just know that they are the ones who will be making total asses of themselves and be side-eyes all night and if you have any outspoken aunts like I do, they will be called on it.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_arrrrrrrrggghh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:22ed2008-aab6-4426-88c5-e54db73ee059Post:ba2cc8fd-029e-4637-bbd1-6994e7cb7a8c">Re: Arrrrrrrrggghh</a>:
    [QUOTE]You do nothing. My stepmother wore a long, ivory, sparkly gown (that she married my father in a few months before....so yes, her wedding dress) at my wedding, and I never said a word. It's not ideal, but it's not the end of the world, either. 
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    My bfriend's MIL wore a long-sleeved, high-necked, floor-length black lace dress with coordinating black hat and veil to her wedding... and left the reception an hour into the party. MILs can be beasts. Sorry.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_arrrrrrrrggghh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:22ed2008-aab6-4426-88c5-e54db73ee059Post:37ecc705-5e8a-4072-80d6-34089ca7588b">Re: Arrrrrrrrggghh</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Arrrrrrrrggghh : My bfriend's MIL wore a long-sleeved, high-necked, floor-length black lace dress with coordinating black hat and veil to her wedding... and left the reception an hour into the party. MILs can be beasts. Sorry.
    Posted by MrsMuq[/QUOTE]

    Talk about making a statement! I'll bet no one was sad that she left the reception early.
                       
  • Is there any cultural difference here that could mean your FMIL and her sisters are unaware of the white rule?  If so I think your FI should clue her in that the majority of the wedding guests will be whispering about how rude it is (and they will).  If she by some chance sincerely doesn't know she'll appreciate the heads-up.

    Otherwise let it go.

    FTR - one of MILs cousins wore white to our wedding; I honestly didn't notice until we got the pictures back but H did and was pretty pissed about it.  If it had been his mom planning to wear white you can be she would have gotten an earful from him; not me, and not with any prodding from me.
  • arg is right, but agree to let it go on your end.  You'll just come across as bridezilla if you say something.  Do you have any sister in laws (or even FI) who you think can "bring it up" and mention its poor taste to wear white when not the bride?  End of the day no one will mistake you for the bride; they will look stupid; you will not and people will talk.  Enjoy your day. no one will remember 6 months from now (except you ;D )
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