sister issues

briannawilliams23

my sister got married 4 years ago, and at the time, big drama was happening in our family. my whole side of the family didnt go to her wedding, and she still holds it against us. im concerned because i may tie the knot soon, and dont know what to do about my sister. i want our relationship to work, but i dont know where to start. it seems like everything is fine on the surface, but i know its not underneath. help please!          

brittany634

If you're not even engaged yet, I wouldn't worry about that aspect of it. If you really think there is something wrong, sit your sister down and talk about it.

kmmssg

Talk it out with her.  Listen to what she is saying and don't interrupt her.  My family boycotted my first wedding.  My aunt raised me and whatever that woman said, everyone did it.  She was a control freak and I wasn't doing what she wanted.  It took me a very long time to forgive but I did once I really figured out that I couldn't control what she did and I did understand the iron hand she seemed to hold over the  rest of the family. I think I am digressing.

I don't know what the circumstances were for boycotting her wedding.  I imagine there are some legitimate reasons out there to do so and I have no idea what your situation is.  The first step in solving a big problem like this is communication.  Talk to her.

Maggie0829

I agree with both PP.  Since you aren't even engaged stop worrying about who and who will not attend your wedding.  What you need to focus on is fixing the relationship with your sister.  But you need to realize that both sides need to want to fix the relationship.  Talk with your sister (not about your potential future wedding) but about the issue that caused such a large boycott from your family.  You both need to work out your issues as sisters.

When the time comes that you do finally get married be prepared for her not to come.  Like NYU said, boycotting her wedding has caused major damage that may never completely heal.