Moms and Maids

Ideas of how to include non-bridesmaids?

I have been going back and forth on weather to include my three good friends form high school in the wedding party.  Two of them now live across the country and will have to buy plane tickets to travel for the wedding and the other is going back to school and always tight on cash.  I know they would be happy to do it, but I also don't feel comfortable asking them to shell out the money for the dresses and all.  Not to mention that my fiance may kill me if I add three more people to our wedding party....  :)

I'm trying to think of creative ways to include all three of them in the wedding without being in the wedding party.  Has anyone else gone through this or have any ideas?

Re: Ideas of how to include non-bridesmaids?

  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Being a guest is an honor.  You could ask them to join you while getting ready and take pictures with you.  You could also ask them if they'd like to do a reading during the ceremony.
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  • edited December 2011
    They could be readers, and then they can wear something they already own.
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  • mkruparmkrupar member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    If youreally want them in the wedding party, then ask them. If THEY feel it's too much of a committment then they can decline. I don't think it's fair that you don't ask the, just because YOU feel they live too far or are tight on cash. If they're really honored and want to be a part of your day then they'll figure out a way to make it work. The two that live far away are going to have to fly for the wedding anyway.

    If you decide not to have them be a part of the WP then I would suggest being a reader or if you're having a bridal lunch with the BMs invite them to that. Jagore gave a good suggestion too about having them get ready with you.
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  • bstentbstent member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think having them get ready with you is a great idea. I'm in the same situation as you, with 5 girls in my wedding party (two sisters, three very close friends) but I have other women in my life who I love and would love to spend time with the morning of my wedding, so I will ask them if they want to join us getting ready, having lunch, etc. FI has a very close friend who he would like to involve, and she is a beautiful singer and guitarist, so we have asked her to sing a few songs at the reception. FI is also close with a cousin of his, who is really funny, outgoing, and friendly, so we've asked him to MC the reception. It really depends on the personality of your friends. Ones that are more shy might not want to read, sing, or MC, and in that case it might be better to ask them to get ready with you instead.
  • edited December 2011
    My FI's brother's girlfriend (did you follow that?) really wants to be a part of the wedding, as do two of my good friends' daughters (they're 12). I'm having the girlfriend attend the guest book and the 2 preteens pass out programs. The girlfrine was stoked to be included, and the 2 preteens are feeling super important about their role. They are wearing whatever they want so there's no additional expense to them.
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  • edited December 2011
    Great ideas!! I have 2 sisters and my FI has 2 sisters so they will be my bridesmaids. I never wanted a huge WP but have girlfriends that I am very close with and would love for them to be involved in some way.
    Other than doing readings, I also wondered about asking them to help out with various DIYs that I plan on doing. Is that rude?
    Having a bridal lunch or something before the wedding sounds good but I feel like things would be really busy that day??
  • PGrantPGrant member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    This is a tricky situation.  My FI really wanted a small wedding party so we are doing one person each.  I have/had (I'm not really sure which word is correct) a very close friend that I wanted to include but the only and I mean only role she is interested in having is that of a bridesmaid.  She has in fact told me that since I didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid we mustn't really be that good of friends.  She hasn't spoken to me since.

  • edited December 2011
    being in the same situation, I have decided to have my dear old friend be my personal assistant the day of, and be included as if she was a bridesmaids to all the bridal showers.  Then I have two other very dear friends (but you have to cut the BP count at some point) and so I have recruited them to help set up the reception.  They are both very good with detail and since I won't be able to be at the venue until reception (can't enter venue till 10am... ceremony will be near 1'ish) I wanted someone I could trust to delegate to and run the show over there while I'm preparing for the day.
    I still have some others friends that I'm still trying to place (maybe make-up or hair or reader or reception hostess?)
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_ideas-of-include-non-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:26baefee-475c-460e-a9f4-d3d770471a6ePost:f42de8f3-f58d-4a94-8937-14acd9294280">Re: Ideas of how to include non-bridesmaids?</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is a tricky situation.  My FI really wanted a small wedding party so we are doing one person each.  I have/had (I'm not really sure which word is correct) a very close friend that I wanted to include but the only and I mean only role she is interested in having is that of a bridesmaid.  She has in fact told me that since I didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid <strong>we mustn't really be that good of friends.  She hasn't spoken to me since</strong>.
    Posted by PGrant[/QUOTE]
    selfish & not considerate! a true friend will understand the situation & react properly, not immaturely.  :( sorry to hear, but be sure to mend that friendship!
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