Moms and Maids
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Candy jars for buffet...

Does anyone know of a good place to buy glass jars for a candy buffet? I can't find a brick and mortar store but am nervous to buy online when I can't see size, etc. first hand.

May all your dreams come true! Jessica

Re: Candy jars for buffet...

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    edited December 2011
    As much as you want her to be a part of it, if she makes everything stressful for you, maybe you should step back and plan without her. It might suck, but it might very well be better for both you ladies' sanity
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    edited December 2011
    I can definitely relate to what you are going through. My Mom is very controlling and manipulative. She was not involved in planning our wedding at all. While I was very sad at first, I quickly got over it and realized it was better that way. It saved me a whole lot of stress and headaches. I never gave her any specific details about the wedding unless she asked, which she rarely did. I never lied to her, I just told her we were tossing this or that around and we had it handled just fine.

    My Mom also lived 650 miles from me while we were planning our wedding, but she didn't even see the church or the reception venue until a few weeks before the wedding. When we were home to do tastings, etc, MIL (whom I am very close with) went with us. MIL also kept tabs on things and kept in contact with vendors for us since we were planning from out of state. I don't know what I would have done without her.

    Is there someone else that you can lean on for support? If not, at least you have your FI. Have fun planning with him, I know my H and I had fun and it really was a fun part of our engagement. Good luck. I know exactly what you are dealing with. And I know it usually helps to know that their are others out there that can relate.
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    sandykampsandykamp member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Jessica,
    As the mother of the bride in 2009 I am speaking from experience. Talk to her! My daughter only involved me in her wedding planning when I demanded to be involved, picking out her wedding dress, and it still bothers me that I wasn't included. I am not a demanding mother, quite the opposite. So don't be afraid to talk to your mother and ask her what the problem is. You may find that it isn't you, but something completely different, and it will help to strengthen your relationship.
    Good luck in your planning
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    jcamm11jcamm11 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mom-making-miserable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:2718af4b-a51b-4ab5-b21b-fb6d505cff16Post:0fb6b077-9680-4065-8e3a-17d417fc0288">Re: My mom is making me miserable...</a>:
    [QUOTE]As much as you want her to be a part of it, if she makes everything stressful for you, maybe you should step back and plan without her. It might suck, but it might very well be better for both you ladies' sanity
    Posted by jessicapatrick2011[/QUOTE]

    She cannot plan without her Mother - she is planning this wedding with her Mother's money, so her Mother gets a say in the planning.

    I think you should dress shop at the DB closer to your Mother.  If she has to drive 1:20 to get to you, and you only have to 1 to get to her DB, she obviously has some driving to do even if she goes to the one closer to her.  It sounds like she filled the account that's going to pay for that dress, show some appreciation and drive to her.  Maybe stop at the house and have dinner/lunch with your folks, and work on your relationship.

    My parents aren't even paying for my wedding, and I still get some grief if they think I'm wasting $$.  They want you to make good financial choices because they care about you.
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    jcamm11jcamm11 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mom-making-miserable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:2718af4b-a51b-4ab5-b21b-fb6d505cff16Post:9822fd89-bf83-47c8-ba23-36e53ec5e0f5">My mom is making me miserable...</a>:
    [QUOTE]From the moment I got engaged, my mom has been nothing but negative, mean and unhelpful to me. My aunt, her sister, offered to put my shower on for me. I accepted, happy that she was willing to take the job on. I spoke with her and asked her if a combined shower, instead of a separate one thrown by the bridesmaids, would be alright since they are all out of state. She had no problem with this and just wanted me to be happy. My mom turned it around, saying I was being controlling, inflexible, and a bridezilla!
    Posted by jdrdancer[/QUOTE]

    Your Aunt offered to host a shower for you, and you asked her if she could invite more people, so you wouldn't have multiple showers.  That was rude, you basically invited extra people to a party someone else was paying for / hosting at their house (I'm guessing).  Just because she said she was OK with that, doesn't mean she really was.  Your Mom was scolding you for doing something rude - she probably doesn't realize that the term bridezilla is equivalent to b***c these days, but I'm sure she wouldn't have said that if she'd known.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mom-making-miserable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:2718af4b-a51b-4ab5-b21b-fb6d505cff16Post:e1bbf5fa-f141-4c37-8769-a6b7c9f87299">Re: My mom is making me miserable...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to My mom is making me miserable... : Your Aunt offered to host a shower for you, and you asked her if she could invite more people, so you wouldn't have multiple showers.  That was rude, you basically invited extra people to a party someone else was paying for / hosting at their house (I'm guessing).  Just because she said she was OK with that, doesn't mean she really was.  Your Mom was scolding you for doing something rude - she probably doesn't realize that the term bridezilla is equivalent to b***c these days, but I'm sure she wouldn't have said that if she'd known.
    Posted by jcamm11[/QUOTE]<span style="font-size:8.5pt;line-height:115%;font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';">

    </span> <span style="font-size:9pt;line-height:115%;font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';">Maybe I missed it, but I didn't see the OP say that her aunt said "i can host a party for family only" and OP went and say "but you have to include my friends!!"

    All we've been told is that the OP was offered a shower and asked a follow-up question about who she could invite. 

    It's possible there's more to the story, and if so, fine.  But I don't think there's anything wrong with clarifying the guest list with the hostess.

    OP, if your parents are paying, they get to control how that money is spent.  If your mom thinks the candy buffet is too much, then it's too much.  They may have said, "we can afford X" but that doesn't mean that they want you to spend X if it means spending excessively on things they don't think are necessary.  It may just mean that amount is there if you need it.

    Also, if she says anything else about the shower, I might go back to your aunt and say, hey, is this shower going to be too much?  I don't want it to be a burden and if you'd rather keep it to family, that's completely okay with me.  It's possible your aunt felt blindsided and complained to your mom because she felt she couldn't say anything to you.</span>
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    jdrdancerjdrdancer member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    As much as that makes sense, my mom isn't paying for the dress, I am. The money they're giving us is to cover the reception food and location. I do see what you're saying, though.
    May all your dreams come true! Jessica
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    jdrdancerjdrdancer member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Actually, the shower is being held at a hall that I'm paying for. My bridesmaids are splitting all the costs with my aunt for everything else.

    May all your dreams come true! Jessica
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