How to remember my mom on my special day.Ideas?

TMB47

My mom passed almost 10 years ago when I was 18. Even now the thought of her brings me to tears and talking about her turns me into snot nosed child. I was thinking during the wedding, on my side, in the first chair putting my favorite picture of her with her favorite flower. Has anyone had any experience with this before? Any different ideas?

AddieCake

I am sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 6 years ago, so we left the chair that would have been hers open and tied nylon butterflies (she loved butterflies) to it. I also took some pics with one of the butterflies in my bouquet, and then kept one and gave the other to her sister. I am not sure I would do a picture; you need to keep it as low key as possible b/c some people can get very upset by "memorial" stuff at weddings.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_how-to-remember-my-mom-on-my-special-dayideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:2b221506-6c5d-48c4-88cf-635e862965b1Post:7e276765-86a7-43ea-8e00-f0beba49556a">How to remember my mom on my special day.Ideas?</a>:
[QUOTE]My mom passed almost 10 years ago when I was 18. Even now the thought of her brings me to tears and talking about her turns me into snot nosed child. I was thinking during the wedding, on my side, in the first chair putting my favorite picture of her with her favorite flower. Has anyone had any experience with this before? Any different ideas?
Posted by TMB47[/QUOTE]

This worked out for Addie but a lot of people (I would say most here) are totally against this.  How will your dad feel sitting next to a memorial chair for his wife already reminded that the woman he married all those years ago is not there with him to see their daughter married?  How are her parents, siblings, pretty much anyone who loved her going to feel?

Do a note in your program.  Use your mom's favorite flowers in your bouquet.  Play her favorite song at some point.  Carry a locket with her picture in it.  Do something that is meaningful for you but has no chance of upsetting someone else.

TMB47

Thanks everyone for the response! The family members (my side and my FI) I have spoken to about it are fine with and think its a great idea. My parents had been divorced and remarried many years prior to her passing. My mothers side of the family will not be in attendance at all. I love all the suggestions and will jot them down in my wedding notebook!

ErinElizabethR

In Response to Re:How to remember my mom on my special day.Ideas?:[QUOTE]My mom passed almost 10 years ago when I was 18. Even now the thought of her brings me to tears and talking about her turns me into snot nosed child. I was thinking during the wedding, on my side, in the first chair putting my favorite picture of her with her favorite flower. Has anyone had any experience with this before? Any different ideas? Posted by TMB47[/QUOTE]
I know how you feel my Mom died 2 weeks after I turned 19. It will be 8 years in April. I know it's such a hard time to do all this planning without your mom. I get angry and depressed when I hear about MOB dresses and MOB this and that. I really missed her when I first got engaged and every time since she passed that I have really good news, because she was the first person I would tell. I'm not going to leave an empty chair for my mom at the ceremony, it would make me too depressed. I know my mom wouldn't want me depressed on my wedding day. If it would make you too sad too see an empty chair in her place I wouldn't do it. I am having the DJ play her favorite song at the reception, Bob seager's "against the wind" because I know she'll be there in spirit. I am also wearing the pearl necklace that she wore on her wedding day.

QueenOfTheSea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_how-to-remember-my-mom-on-my-special-dayideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:2b221506-6c5d-48c4-88cf-635e862965b1Post:7e276765-86a7-43ea-8e00-f0beba49556a">How to remember my mom on my special day.Ideas?</a>:
[QUOTE]My mom passed almost 10 years ago when I was 18. Even now the thought of her brings me to tears and talking about her turns me into snot nosed child. I was thinking during the wedding, on my side, in the first chair putting my favorite picture of her with her favorite flower. Has anyone had any experience with this before? Any different ideas?
Posted by TMB47[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm so sorry for your loss!  Just a thought, and my opinion, but you stated that just the thought of her makes you cry, so what is a picture going to do?  If it were me, when we are pronounced husband and wife and turn to face our guests, I would want to be laughing and happy, but if I turned around to see an empty chair with my mother's picture, when just the thought of her moves me to tears, I wouldn't be laughing, but fighting back the waterworks, and the smile would be forced and just an act; not how I would want it to be.  I hope I'm not sounding insensitive, because, while not the exact same, I know what you are going through.  My aunt was like my second mother and best friend; she lived next door to my babysitter that I went to until I was 5, so although she lived 20 minutes away, I saw her everyday, during my upper elementary school years, I would call her at all hours of the day and night about anything and she would always listen and cheer me up, even though she had battled all forms of cancer, until it finally won against her body after 16 years of battling, she never complained and was MY rock and role model.  She died 9 years ago this April, and like you and your mom, just the thought of her makes me bawl, so I am doing something sentimental and private, something that won't be staring me in the face when I should be beaming, I am having an angel pin that matches the one she had pinned on her in her casket (we had matching ones) tucked into my bouquet, along with a locket that holds her and my grandpas' pictures.  I knew that I didn't want to be a snot-nosed mess constantly thinking that she should be here, when all she would want is for me to be laughing and crying tears of joy while she watches the whole party from a home of no pain and laughes and crys tears of joy with me.</div>