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Moms and Maids

Am I being a Bridezilla?

After being forced to have my older sister as my maid of honor (which I didn't want because she's never supported my fiance and I being together and I feel that the maid of honor should be someone thats been there from the beginning) My maid of honor has already picked out her dress, the shoes, and the hair she's doing without even telling me about it. My husband and I are having a Victorian-esque/vintage themed wedding and her choices are Miss America-like. She' also trying to put her input in every plan my husband and I make, and although I value her opinion she throws fits if things don't go her way. My husband and I want our wedding to reflect us and she just doesn't understand that. After getting overly frustrated about her I finally told her to stop because these are my decisions and if she doesn't like it I can find a new maid of honor. I was then accused of being a bridezilla. Do you think I am being a bridezilla? I really need some advice.

Thanks in advance

Re: Am I being a Bridezilla?

  • I think she's out of line, but you're not being completely reasonable either. It's unfortunate you felt forced into asking her, but you did ask her.

    I think it's pretty common accepted the bride can pick out the attire (as long as you stay within her budget), but dictating her hair is a bit much. Also, it would be rude to replace a maid of honor because that makes the replacement feel like, well a replacement, a second-choice.

    In my opinion if a bridesmaid refuses to get the attire the bride picks (within reason, I'm not talking about making her wear something she feels uncomfortable in or is overbudget) then she takes herself out of the wedding party and you aren't kicking her out


  • Do you mean your future husband or is husband correct?

    If "husband" is accurate, you have already had your wedding, since you are married.  What you are planning is a vow renewal. 

    If you are old enough to be married, how did someone pick your MOH out? 
  • You aren't being a bridezilla, because you aren't a bride.
  • OP you said he was your FI once and your husband twice. Which is it? 
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  • Maybe you can talk to her about your theme and see if you can come to a compromise on the dress and accessories. Find something victorian that she approves of.  She's your sister, so you probably know how to best handle her than anyone here.

    Also... I call my FI my hubby/husband and likewise he calls me his wife on many occasions. Fiance sounds weird, significant other is too much of a mouthful to say and boyfriend doesn't sound serious.  (if that makes any sense.)
    I guess it depends on your local circles etc. on what is acceptable.
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  • My Fi and I call each other husband/wife only to each other, not to others bc thats confusing. I was kinda confused too about the OP though.

    I hate to hijack this thread, but is Mud what you all call a fake post? Other forums I am on call that a "troll," so it must be the same thing?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_am-being-bridezilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:2b6707a7-54d8-4ff7-ada3-30eb9cfdc9daPost:b5cf060d-af1d-46b6-b6f9-e7fca4bdeb3d">Re: Am I being a Bridezilla?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My Fi and I call each other husband/wife only to each other, not to others bc thats confusing. I was kinda confused too about the OP though. I hate to hijack this thread, but is Mud what you all call a fake post? Other forums I am on call that a "troll," so it must be the same thing?
    Posted by CowgirlK39[/QUOTE]

    MUD = Made Up Drama
    Troll = the person who creates MUD
    image
    AKA GoodLuckBear14
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_am-being-bridezilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:2b6707a7-54d8-4ff7-ada3-30eb9cfdc9daPost:f04d120a-0730-4ed6-8792-77ead023d1af">Am I being a Bridezilla?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>After being forced to have my older sister as my maid of honor</strong> (which I didn't want because she's never supported my fiance and I being together and I feel that the maid of honor should be someone thats been there from the beginning) My maid of honor has already picked out her dress, the shoes, and the hair she's doing without even telling me about it. My husband and I are having a Victorian-esque/vintage themed wedding and her choices are Miss America-like. She' also trying to put her input in every plan my husband and I make, and although I value her opinion she throws fits if things don't go her way. My husband and I want our wedding to reflect us and she just doesn't understand that. After getting overly frustrated about her I finally told her to stop because these are my decisions and if she doesn't like it I can find a new maid of honor. I was then accused of being a bridezilla. Do you think I am being a bridezilla? I really need some advice. Thanks in advance
    Posted by TaiandAndy[/QUOTE]

    Did somebody hold a gun to your head?

  • How were you forced to choose her as a maid of honor? Not making a choice is a choice. I hope you will use this opportunity to speak up and set things right with your older sister, she maybe older but "she's not the boss of you" LOL.  Time to stand on your own two feet and speak up and speak the truth in love.

  • One stop letting your sister walk all over you. She is not the boss of you. Tough it out, you asked her, forced or not, now deal with it. If you think it's bad now what happens if you replace her, my guess she's going to be beyond hurt and you'll look bad not her. Pick out a dress what's in her budget and go with it, if she doesn't get it then she's taken herself out of the wedding. Never place WP members if they have to step down, it's tacky and rude to everyone involved.
       Also, sometimes FH and I call each other husband and wife. Just depends on the situation.
  • Thanks for all the advice! Sorry for being confusing, I meant fiance, but we call each other husband and wife. The dresses I have chosen are all within budget, but the dress she wants is designer and the price of a wedding dress. My mother basically told me that if I didn't put my sister as my maid of honor, she would be very upset and would't feel enthusiastic about the wedding or the planning and wouldn't pay for her part of the wedding(our budget has been split between my mother, my husband, and I). I don't want to disappoint my mother but I just don't feel like my sister is supportive of anything. I've set up a girls weekend so my mom, sis, and I can relax and talk through this like adults. Hopefully my sister listen and the stress decreases. Smile
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