I have five women in my bridal party. My MOH and and one BM get along great -- they are probably even best friends! One is my sister and one is FI's sister - both live out of town and will mainly show up at the wedding shower, bachelorette party, and the wedding weekend. (Both girls are still in college.) My final BM, however, clashes with everyone! BM #3 has yet to show up for any group events - dress shopping or planning in the last 3 months. When it came to shopping for BM dresses, she didn't want to go with the group because she was worried about her weight -- her dress was ordered in a 10 (the other girls are 6, 10, and 2 - 14s and I'm a 16). My FI now jokes, "Do you think she'll show up at the wedding?" My mom calls her "my runaway bridesmaid." FI and I just moved into our new place last weekend, and are wanting to throw a get-together - sorta a pre-Rehearsal Dinner thing. We emailed everyone asking them what dates worked for them - and surprise! She didn't answer! We narrowed it down to two Saturdays and have asked her to pick the one that works the best -- Her husband comes home from a business trip the Friday morning before the 1st Sat (so that's out) and she's pretty sure she works the other Saturday (until noon--the dinner wouldn't start until 7pm).
Needless to say, I'm hurt and frustrated! I know I need to to talk to her, but I'm not sure how to start! She can be amazingly supportive (when I lost my job and had to cut back on wedding stuff and nix the honeymoon, she offered her timeshare and when my dress got back ordered until the week before the wedding, she offered to have hers altered for me)....but I am sooo over her trashing the other 'maids. How do I start this conversation?