Moms and Maids

Re: j

  • edited December 2011

    No, I don't think you are being crazy.  I also wouldn't attempt again to talk to her.  She has made it pretty obvious that she isnt interested in friendship.

    If I were you I'd cross her off my list and move on.  I am assuming that you have other girls who you are close to that you can ask to stand up with you.  If she gets in contact with you again, I would be inclined to ignore the message.  Delete the email or text or voice message, shrug your shoulders, and call one of your REAL friends.  Don't attack her or rant about her to your friends, especially if they know her.  The last thing you want to be involved in is a verbal sparring match while planning your wedding!


    She sounds jealous to me, and jealous people may attempt to make you feel guilty about how excited you are, or make you feel like you are asking for too much.  A week after your engagement and she was already sick of talking about the wedding?  I bet that took your excitement and pretty much flushed it down the drain.  If all you did for six months is go on and on about your wedding, that would be one thing.  But the first week after engagement is when your mind is swimming with excitement, ideas, to-do lists, and your best friend should want to be a part of that!


    Good luck, and stand firm!  Ive discovered that weddings can bring out the best and the worst in people!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_problems-ex-friend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:3094b6fe-124f-4164-b0eb-95ff6df46fc6Post:0d36acf7-e35f-4d91-9bbf-24c58d7f753a">Re: Problems with a (ex?) friend</a>:
    [QUOTE]No, I don't think you are being crazy.  I also wouldn't attempt again to talk to her.  She has made it pretty obvious that she isnt interested in friendship. If I were you I'd cross her off my list and move on.  I am assuming that you have other girls who you are close to that you can ask to stand up with you.  If she gets in contact with you again, I would be inclined to ignore the message.  Delete the email or text or voice message, shrug your shoulders, and call one of your REAL friends.  Don't attack her or rant about her to your friends, especially if they know her.  The last thing you want to be involved in is a verbal sparring match while planning your wedding! She sounds jealous to me, and jealous people may attempt to make you feel guilty about how excited you are, or make you feel like you are asking for too much.  A week after your engagement and she was already sick of talking about the wedding?  I bet that took your excitement and pretty much flushed it down the drain.  If all you did for six months is go on and on about your wedding, that would be one thing.  But the first week after engagement is when your mind is swimming with excitement, ideas, to-do lists, <strong>and your best friend should want to be a part of that!</strong> Good luck, and stand firm!  Ive discovered that weddings can bring out the best and the worst in people!
    Posted by Davesgrl2011[/QUOTE]

    I agree with some of what you said, about not getting into it with the girl, and trying to let things go.

    But the bolded part... some people don't care about weddings.  And it doesn't necessarily mean they're jealous.  It just means they don't give a shiit and don't want to listen to it.
    image
  • edited December 2011
    some people don't care about weddings.  And it doesn't necessarily mean they're jealous.  It just means they don't give a shiit and don't want to listen to it.

    Too true.  However, your best friend should still try to be happy for you.  It almost makes it worse than just plain jealousy to say "they just don't give a shiit."  If I thought my BF felt that way I would be crushed and I wouldn't want to be her friend anymore. 

    By the by, how do you quote?
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I have an issue with her talking about it behind your back and then saying she couldn't be your friend because of it. That would make me feel very unimportant to her, and also make me feel like she's not being a very good friend, because (imo) a good friend would've identified the problem and then wanted to fix it. Not just wanted to be like, 'oh, no friendship over'.

    And saying, "i know you're mad, so i'm sorry' is def NOT a real apology.

    @Davesgrl, under everyone's post there's a little line that says "report block private message quote reply" , just click on "quote" and it takes care of it for you =)
    Rocking the Dress with my Bestie
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  • vicki0508vicki0508 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I have a problem when just because a friend gets annoyed with a bride who talks about the wedding too much, the friend automatically gets labeled as "jealous."

    OP, I think it's a little naive to assume that your friends don't ever say anything bad about you behind your back.

    Plus, she apologized, you didn't think it was good enough.  I think you're the one who needs to get over it.  I can't imagine that holding out for a "better" apology would ever go over well.

    I guess I don't understand your question.  You guys obviously aren't friends anymore, so not inviting her to the wedding seems like a logical move.
  • steffenfamsteffenfam member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sometimes when you become roommates with a friend, it can permanently ruin the friendship.  Were things not good before you got engaged?  Also in friendships, one friend may hold the other friend in higher regard than she holds you.  Anyway, it looks like this ship has sailed and it's time to move on to better friends.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    mkharpold- are you sure you want to break up your relationship with your best friend over a remark that you overheard? That seems very drastic to me. She may have been overwhelmed by your wedding talk and chose to vent to her boyfriend, rather than confront you directly.

    I don't think it was right to reject her apology, without giving her a chance to talk it out with you. If you are sure you don't want to be friends with her ever again, then I guess it's okay to dismiss her like that. But it sounds like you are sad about this.


                       
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_problems-ex-friend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:3094b6fe-124f-4164-b0eb-95ff6df46fc6Post:7b4df21d-c3f1-46d1-9ba0-9e8a91d51974">Re: Problems with a (ex?) friend</a>:
    [QUOTE]some people don't care about weddings.  And it doesn't necessarily mean they're jealous.  It just means they don't give a shiit and don't want to listen to it. Too true.  However, your best friend should still try to be happy for you.  It almost makes it worse than just plain jealousy to say "they just don't give a shiit."  If I thought my BF felt that way I would be crushed and I wouldn't want to be her friend anymore.  By the by, how do you quote?
    Posted by Davesgrl2011[/QUOTE]

    Directly below each post is a "quote" button on the right hand side.
  • edited December 2011
    OP, you were quoted.  Deleting does no good and it won't endear you to the crowd around here.
    image
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_problems-ex-friend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:3094b6fe-124f-4164-b0eb-95ff6df46fc6Post:fc137d8f-1a4b-40c7-892f-30352ef12fc8">Re: j</a>:
    [QUOTE]OP, you were quoted.  Deleting does no good and it won't endear you to the crowd around here.
    Posted by hlq2011[/QUOTE]

    But, but... she wasn't!
  • edited December 2011
    Whoops, sorry! Didn't realize it was Davesgrl that was quoted.  My bad.

    But the point stands...
    image
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