13 Bridesmaids

mblackmon1

I'm in the process of planning my wedding and in the midst of all of the excitement, I promised 13 ladies that they could be apart of the wedding party.  It is now about 3 months after my engagement and reality is setting in, I have 2 maids of honor, 1 matron and 10 bridesmaids... a total of 13  Though, I would feel horrible to have go back and tell some of them to take on other roles...they are all family and best friends.  Do I have too many bridesmaids? 

em01092

If they are truly your nearest and dearest, then it's fine. Personally, I would not have asked that many girls, but there is nothing wrong with it at all. 

 If you have already asked them, you should not retract that. It would be super rude. Don't worry about having uneven sides. Your FI can have 13 GMs or none. 

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_13-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:3126d3e9-9702-4158-9f4a-c57332ef2edbPost:9d7deb8d-6618-414d-8ebc-cf3d5aa5504e">13 Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm in the process of planning my wedding and in the midst of all of the excitement, I promised 13 ladies that they could be apart of the wedding party.  It is now about 3 months after my engagement and reality is setting in, I have 2 maids of honor, 1 matron and 10 bridesmaids... a total of 13  Though, I would feel horrible to have go back and tell some of them to take on other roles...they are all family and best friends.  Do I have too many bridesmaids? 
Posted by mblackmon1[/QUOTE]

It doesn't matter if it's too many.  They are all BMs and you need to make it work because you can't demote anyone from BM.

kmmssg

You have 13 bridesmaids and you can't demote anyone or retract your invitation.  What you do need to do is make sure that you are budgeting for all those flowers and thank you gifts, as well as their presence (with SO's//spouses/FI's) at your RD.  That is a potential of 26 people at your RD just from your attendants alone.  You still have to budget in your FI's side with their dates and your families.

I'm sure you were very excited when you asked each one, but you need to realize that having such an enormous amount of attendants just added several  hundred dollars to your budget.  You have 10 months so adjust your budget to accomodate them appropriately.

em01092

Kmmsgg is wise. 

Or you could just not have a rehearsal, if your wedding ceremony is straight forward and simple, thus no need for a big dinner. A casual dinner in somone's backyard would be fun and less expensive than something more formal. Or you can do the rehearsal at a non-meal time and just host something light such as snack trays and desserts. 

As for bouquets, you could have very small bundles of just a few flowers for them, or have them carrying something else that would be cheaper. My florist is charging $35 per BM bouquet but you can get fans and parasols for like $5. 

blue1981

I agree with PPs you have to keep all 13 bridesmaids now and definitely budget appropriately to accomodate everyone's bouquets, gifts, and anything else you plan to do for them such as hair and makeup.

mblackmon1

Thanks for the advice!! it was very helpful.  Although, most of the bridesmaids volunteered and I didn't have the heart to say no!! But I will deal with it and move foward with my plans.  The great part is that they are all very excited and eager to help with plans...so the more the "marry-er" lol and 13 bridesmaids it shall be!

tseguin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_13-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:3126d3e9-9702-4158-9f4a-c57332ef2edbPost:5b004f5a-20db-4703-92d4-440a4d5b08ac">Re: 13 Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]You have 13 bridesmaids and you can't demote anyone or retract your invitation.  What you do need to do is make sure that you are budgeting for all those flowers and thank you gifts, as well as their presence (with SO's//spouses/FI's) at your RD.  That is a potential of 26 people at your RD just from your attendants alone.  You still have to budget in your FI's side with their dates and your families. I'm sure you were very excited when you asked each one, but you need to realize that having such an enormous amount of attendants just added several  hundred dollars to your budget.  You have 10 months so adjust your budget to accomodate them appropriately.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

fully agree with this.  Do not demote them, it will ruin the friendship.  By the sounds of it you have no issues with any of them.  Demoting one would cause unnecessary issues.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_13-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:3126d3e9-9702-4158-9f4a-c57332ef2edbPost:a79feb53-512f-47bf-9689-709e44ec33c9">Re: 13 Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the advice!! it was very helpful.  Although, most of the bridesmaids volunteered and I didn't have the heart to say no!! But I will deal with it and move foward with my plans.  <strong>The great part is that they are all very excited and eager to help with plans</strong>...so the more the "marry-er" lol and 13 bridesmaids it shall be!
Posted by mblackmon1[/QUOTE]

Don't want to burst your bubble...but as your wedding day gets closer you may find out that some of these very eager volunteers may not be so eager anymore.  So don't be hurt or shocked that your BMs aren't helping like they said they would.

MrsCattolico17

Hello! 

Just wanted to chime in I too have 13 bridesmaids and I could not be more thrilled think about it this way, WHY NOT? You only get married once its a huge day of celebrations filled with huge amounts of happiness and smiles. So in my opinion a HUGE bridal party is the only way to go! Its going to be so much fun! Good luck to you

XoXo, Nicole