Is this rude - FIL?

rsanna

I am just curious about what everyone else thinks of this.  My FI's family isn't really supportive of our wedding, and he would really like them to be.  They have told him family is the most important thing yet they have this impression that by getting married he is leaving them.  Even though I am not very fond of my in-laws right now (long story), I want to try and keep them updated on what is going on.

We are putting down a deposit tomorrow and officially booking our day!  My parents know this and were even nice enough to give us the money for the deposit.  (FI and I just moved into an apartment and so we are short on disposable income for a little bit, but we wanted to book our day.)  Would it be tacky or rude if he called his mom and told her we put down a deposit and have a set date and that he really hopes he will be able to see her and the rest of his family there?

redheadtmk

Normally I would say make sure the date works for the parents and most important people you want there before you book the date, but it sounds like they are not cooperative in any way so it would be pointless. Book your venue, call and let them know, and let what happens happen. Good luck.

rsanna

Well she took it okay at first, but now she is taking away his college fund and claims none of the money was his, even though his grandma had given him a check with his name on it and he put it into the account. (Most recent incident/gift)  FYI, The account was in both of their names.  

When he tried to explain how what she was doing was unfair because he had been gifted that money his sister told him to "leave my mother alone" and that he is "making her life miserable". (No, they are not step- or half-siblings.  His sister was just being rude.)

It is what it is.  I understand we cannot change his mother and make her see/understand the way she acts and how she treats him.  We are just moving forward and will probably stop discussing anything wedding/future/(me) related with her.  We will work something out about living expenses and paying for college.

Thanks for all of the advice.