Bridesmaids picking their own Dresses?

firechick83

Hello Fellow Knotties!
     I'm hoping I can get some opinions/advice from brides who have gone this route....I'm leaning towards letting the bridesmaids pick their own dresses b/c I want them to feel comfortable & I would feel terrible if I made them spend a lot of $$ on a dress they would never wear again.  The main worry I have here is I would like either bright red or blue dresses & as we all know, there are a lot of different shades of both of those colors & they don't all match.  Thoughts please!
Thanks! 

Muffin'sMom

Send them to one place, like David's Bridal, and give them one of their specific colors and let them get whatever style they want!

em01092

Yep, send them to a store with a color you have picked out. You can also decide on a length and a fabric, if you wish. Just be sure to consult with your BMs first. Dresses at David's Bridal or Alfred Angelo can run from just under $100 to $200. 

I picked AA Petunia and told my gals to get a knee length dress in any fabric. 

artbyallie

If you go with DB I recommend Horizon blue. It's a beautiful color.

NicnJen01

My Dresses are going to be Alfred Sung Peue De Soie (sp?) material in the color ebony, the rest is up to them.  My only advice is that if you want them to match, pick your color pick your material and let them pick their dresses.  Alfred Sung can range anywere from $150ish and up. They have over 20 choices and there are short and long versions of them all, (so 40 that way) PLUS they are all super cute, so especially if htey choose tea length they can wear again.

[Deleted User]

My BM dress for my best friend's wedding is the color Horizon! I agree it is really beautiful, I love my dress. The bride just took us to DB, gave us the color and length, and let us loose in the store. We all have different dresses but it looks great!

froggatt.clare

I told my 'maids they could wear a little black dress of their choice.  They could buy it anwhere they liked (or just take it out of their closet), as long as they were comfortable with it.  I just wanted a photo of it beforehand to get an idea.  They all LOVED me for it.

rlurie

I am using David's Bridal. I gave the girls a color, material (because the same color looks different on different materials), and a length. That way thery look similar in picture but the girls can pick styles they like. 

em01092

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaids-picking-their-own-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:349e35ce-1011-4694-89a6-881806d69b6bPost:2454917b-dba0-46a7-b558-6e5321f4510a">Re: Bridesmaids picking their own Dresses?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am using David's Bridal. I gave the girls a color, material <strong>(because the same color looks different on different materials</strong>), and a length. That way thery look similar in picture but the girls can pick styles they like. 
Posted by rlurie[/QUOTE]

<div>It does, but not enough to bother some people. I don't really care if they are slightly different. One less thing for me to worry/stress over. </div>

hboo2011

I picked a specific color from one designer, knowing there were tons of style options to fit every body type. I went with Alfred Angelo. That way they picked their own style, and I made sure all colors were the same.

[Deleted User]

I agree about DB....they have many styles to choose from and the colors will match. I think it's nice that you're letting your girls pick their own styles. I had to wear a strapless, tea-length dress for a wedding I was in. Although the dress was very pretty, I am a 36DD up top...so that was a huge pain for me. Given that the bride and other girls were probably all B's, it's not a surprise they didn't know how hard that would be for me to hold up, but it would have been nice to at least have some say or options!

lisab613

my friend did this, and i was in the wedding. we went with david's bridal dresses in navy (or whatever the heck they call their navy. they have weird names for things). she just picked the color, not length or material. the DB people were like, are you sure, b/c the color may look different in the different material ...
but it looked fine, honestly. i think we ALL had different materials and it looked great. the bonus with choosing this option is that it works very well if you can't get your girls all together at the same time (in our case, all the BMs were living in different states). you can just have them go to their local one, easy peasy.

[Deleted User]

I'm doing the same thing.  My problem is, I can't seem to find the right blue anywhere.  They're different everywhere...it doesn't look bad with different shades, just as long as they're pretty close.

TiffannieF

I kind of have a problem with letting girls pick their own dress for a couple of reasons. I have been in 2 weddings where they let me pick my dress and I hated it because I wasn't really sure the bride liked the style, what happens if she was just saying yes so not to hurt my feelings? And also I've seen some girls pick dresses that are NOT appropriate. Not apprpriate for the season (both were fall weddings and the other BMs picked short dresses, not something I agree with or was comfortable with wearing) and/or not appropriate for their size (oh this dress that is strapless and stops above my knee is so cute on this model, oh yay they have it in size 20, that means ill look just as good in it as the size 3 model). Also not all the girls might not be on the same page. The 2 fall weddings I wanted a long dress because that's what I felt comfortable in (I was allowed to pick a dress that was suppose to be comfortable for me) but all the other girls wanted shorter dresses. I knew I would really look out of place and more dressy then them so I just got a dress that was tea length. If you do allow them to pick their dresses just be cautious of this AND the material as PPs have posted.

lovemeXoX10

My wedding isn't until 2013, but I have already found my dress and have decided this for my BM's and my MOH. With my MOH, (my wedding colors are black white and silver, and since my dress is all white...) I've decided to let her use black and silver in her dress. She can do all black or all silver or black with silver or silver with back it doesn't matter to me, but no white! 

I've decided with all my BM's and my MOH of honor that the dress has to be knee length and they can do whatever style they want! 

(I want them to have short dresses since mine is long)

With the BM's, I told them I only have two conditions the length is to your knees and your dress has to be all black, but you can do ANY style you prefer and I don't care how they do their hair, or whether they have flats or heels, etc..

All my BM's and my MOH have very hectic schedules in their lives so it's hard to gather them all at one place at the same time/date/day. So I probably won't be able to get them all together at once and go to one store... HTH! 

AVBarto

I'm doing this.  I love this idea.  Find a designer, tell them the color and length and material...and let them pick it.  Basically it's just the top that most peopel are concerned with...strapless, sweetheart, halter, etc.

Icyriver

I let my girls pick out their own dresses. I told them what color, that I would like for them to all have the same dress and went with them to Davids Bridal. In one appointment they all chose the same chiffon dress which I was amazed with because my girls range from sizes 4 to 28.  I'm doing the same thing with shoes. They want to wear gold shoes which goes perfectly with their dress color and gold is one of my wedding colors.

HandBanana

I know a bride that just told her BMs to wear dark pruple dresses without any consistency in designer or fabric.  It looked great. 

If you really want them to have a dress they will wear again, why not go through JCrew.  If you have them figure out their sizes, you can wait for a color to go on clearance on line, and give them the green light to pick out their dress.  Right now they have some "mosaic blue" colored chiffon cocktail length dress for under $140.

This was my original plan before finding a dress at Banana Republic.

Portland09102011

I told my BMs to get any dress they wanted from any store as long as it was semi formal style and purple. I think it looks better when things aren't all the same exact color and if I was in a wedding I wouldn't want to spend money on a dress I wouldn't wear again. Two girls found dresses under $40 at the mall. One spent more money than I did on my wedding dress just because she likes to do that sort of thing. 

The one thing that makes me not like it though is how much I've had to talk to everyone about it. A lot of the girls wanted me to get excited about what they picked but I didn't care that much. I vetoed two dresses that were way inappropriate but everything else I just said it was fine. There were a lot of emails and pictures being sent out. My sister sent me like 10 pictures of dresses she was thinking about and begged me to pick one for her. I told her which were my two favorite, and then she tells me she doesn't like those two (that she emailed to me?). It kind of made me want to just tell everone which dress to pick to be done with it.   

HYDROPHILE

Why not just go with your bridesmaids when they pick their dresses?  That is what I did.  My Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid picked out dresses in the formal department of a department store, saved a bunch of money, and they can wear their dresses over and over again. (And they match)

monique026

Go to DB and buy color swatches of the colors you want (they're $1 each) and give these to the bridesmaids. If you want to do 2 colors, decide with the girls who will wear what color - then let them pick their own dress in that swatch! 

With my bridesmaids, I gave them the color (apple red) and said I wanted floor-length dresses, and they each picked the style they wanted. After 4 of the 5 bridesmaids picked strapless, I told the last one that and she bought strapless too. They all looked beautiful and felt comfortable choosing their own price points and styles!

MyUserName1

I sent them the link to Alfred Angelo and said "Do you guys see any short dresses you like?"

They sent back links to 3-4 dresses, I told them which ones I liked too. 

We ended up being able to go together to the salon, and they both ended up picking the same dress- which I liked too!  And they generally have different taste from each other and TOTALLY different taste from me.  

I thought it was going to be crazy hard, but its been the easiest part of planning yet.

schbucli3

I let mine pick their own... i gave them a couple color choices. 2 chose black and chose Cranberry. The 2 that chose black (my 2 cousins) live 1000 miles apart and chose the same dress! I told them I didn't care if it was long or short I just wanted them to be comfortable and be able to wear it again. I'm not a big fan of the whole matchy matchy weddings. The one that chose the cranberry I just gave her a swatch sample and off we went. They all chose long elegant beautiful gowns that fit their body type. I have no complaints,,, Good luck!

skantrowitz

I think I'm going to pick out several styles of tea length and short dresses that I like from David's Bridal, and tell my BMs to pick out their favorite in horizon blue. I'll be sure to give them options of strapless, straps, etc.

dkgilly

I let me bridesmaids pick their own dresses.  Black dress.  That's the only criteria I gave them.  Could've been a nightmare, but it's turned out nice!  

I was in a wedding a few years ago and the bride did the same thing.  It was nice b/c we all love our dresses and have wron them a lot since.

I should add though, that I gave them these http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/goodthings/maid-service-fashion-cards

fashin cards and included the 'style' of the wedding (ie. rustic, vintage, barn).  This gave them a bit of direction.  

katiebaka

I hate how I look in certain dresses, and I wanted all my girls to feel pretty on the day of the wedding so I wanted them to choose their wn.

I went with Alfred Angelo, chose a color, and told them to choose any floor-length dress in satin. While I was worried it was still a little pricey, they were still able to control the cost a little more (my MOH didn't care how much she spent and spent about $220, one of my BMs was on a little tighter budget and chose one that was $170) and they all chose completely different styles that are so perfectly them.

One of my BMs will be 8 months pregnant at the wedding and was able to get a dress that will accommodate her tummy and not make her look completely different than the other girls since they're all in different dresses anyway, which was a huge unanticipated plus.

I doubt they'll wear them again (not much use for floor length satin dresses around our parts haha) but they love the dresses they're wearing for that day (and look beautiful!) and that makes me happy

betsgreene

I did the the theme of "Little Black Dress" ....where allt the girls get to pick out whatever black dress they want "cocktail lenth"  All the girls seem to love the idea since they all have different shapes and coloring. They can either use one they already own or have fun shopping for a new one anywhere...not just an overpiced cheesy bridal shop. All happy responses!