MOG.... Bought her dress to match the wedding party.

alba x monge

my future MIL is a little impatient.  Although I have made an appt. to go buy dresses for both mothers two weeks away.  She decided she wanted to go out on her own and buy her dress and save me the money.   She took our invitation and brought it to the store and had the salesperson match the invite (tiffany blue and gray).   So she got herself a tiffany blue and gray trimming dress.  She absolutely "adores" it. and will not consider changing the color.  

My worry however, is that I have no bridemaids and have only a flower girl.   I wanted to buy my mother a silver or champagne color dress and am afraid that looking at our wedding picutures my MIL will look more like my MOH rahter than my MIL.   She will be matching not only the wedding party, but the bouquets, the thank you gifts, the tablecloths, the menus...... etc, etc, etc.

How do I get her to try to look for another outfit without hurting her or my fiancee's feelings?

alba x monge

Also forgot to mention that when I told her that we should probably try to find a nicer color she did say that Tiffany Blue is a blue and therefore a MOG's color scheme.

em01092

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mog-bought-her-dress-match-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:385ac138-98ac-4a6e-b8f3-c72d0d638e3fPost:6ded14f6-5f71-412d-b400-1788e21461e9">MOG.... Bought her dress to match the wedding party.</a>:
[QUOTE]my future MIL is a little impatient.  Although I have made an appt. to go buy dresses for both mothers two weeks away.  She decided she wanted to go out on her own and buy her dress and save me the money.   She took our invitation and brought it to the store and had the salesperson match the invite (tiffany blue and gray).   So she got herself a tiffany blue and gray trimming dress.  She absolutely "adores" it. and will not consider changing the color.   My worry however, is that I have no bridemaids and have only a flower girl.   I wanted to buy my mother a silver or champagne color dress and<strong> am afraid that looking at our wedding picutures my MIL will look more like my MOH rahter than my MIL.</strong>   She will be matching not only the wedding party, but the bouquets, the thank you gifts, the tablecloths, the menus...... etc, etc, etc. How do I get her to try to look for another outfit without hurting her or my fiancee's feelings?
Posted by alba x monge[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I doubt you or anyone will get them confused lol. </div><div>
</div><div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">You don't get to dictate your FMIL's attire, since she is not in the WP. She already bought the dress and loves it, so it would be really rude of you to say anything now. She has not done anything wrong. It would have been nice had she consulted you or your mom, but she doesn't HAVE to do so. <div style="background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-style:initial;border-color:initial;font-size:12px;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;vertical-align:baseline;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">
</div><div style="background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-style:initial;border-color:initial;font-size:12px;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;vertical-align:baseline;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">Think about it: how many pictures will you actually have of her with your parents? You'll probably have one of you with both sets of parents but that's really it.</div><div style="background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-style:initial;border-color:initial;font-size:12px;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;vertical-align:baseline;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">
</div><div style="background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-style:initial;border-color:initial;font-size:12px;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;vertical-align:baseline;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">What is more important, how your pictures look or your relationship with your FMIL? </div><div style="background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-style:initial;border-color:initial;font-size:12px;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;vertical-align:baseline;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">
</div><div style="background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-style:initial;border-color:initial;font-size:12px;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;vertical-align:baseline;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">Edted: Removed part about BMs, since I realized you aren't having them. My bad.</div></span></div><div>
</div><div>Just remember that your wedding is one day. Your FMIL will be your FMIL for the rest of your life. </div><div>
</div>

jolla92126

I told my FMIL and FSIL to feel free to match the colors if they wish. I think it will give everyone a cohesive but not matchy look.

covejack

Nope.  You don't get to tell FMIL what to wear.

sparent2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mog-bought-her-dress-match-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:385ac138-98ac-4a6e-b8f3-c72d0d638e3fPost:38150599-9450-4b95-b4e4-38df3dc8a877">Re: MOG.... Bought her dress to match the wedding party.</a>:
[QUOTE]Let it go. Actually, you were presumptuous in making appointments for them.....the moms wear whatever THEY want to, unless they're in the wedding party.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

<div>Ba-Bam. Retread usually says what I would only nicer. </div><div>
</div><div>People will not confuse her as part of the WP. She can wear what she pleases</div>

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mog-bought-her-dress-match-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:385ac138-98ac-4a6e-b8f3-c72d0d638e3fPost:6ded14f6-5f71-412d-b400-1788e21461e9">MOG.... Bought her dress to match the wedding party.</a>:
[QUOTE] Although I have made an appt. to go buy dresses for both mothers two weeks away.  Posted by alba x monge[/QUOTE]

This confuses me. Why couldn't they buy their own dresses on their own time?

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mog-bought-her-dress-match-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:385ac138-98ac-4a6e-b8f3-c72d0d638e3fPost:0e3290f2-3b45-453c-9364-1dda42e3ec83">Re: MOG.... Bought her dress to match the wedding party.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to MOG.... Bought her dress to match the wedding party. : This confuses me. Why couldn't they buy their own dresses on their own time?
Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

ditto this.  Also, how would someone confuse her with the wedding party, when you said there was no wedding party?

ashleyvanderhoof

I completely understand where you are coming from. My FFIL is the best man, so it is possible to confuse the FMIL with a MOH. But, if you've already asked nicely for her to choose a different hue, then I wouldn't risk going any farther. No one wants family feuds on their big day. I've always thought, (and most of my friends and family have been on the same page) that the MOG and MOB go shopping with the bride and the bride will give her input.

theluckiest555

Don't worrry, nobody is going to think that she is your maid of honor because she won't be standing by you, and she won't be holding a boquet. I strongly suggest that you not say anything to her, she can wear whatever she wants since she is not in the WP. FWIW, my mom is miss etiquette, she is like Emily Post's long lost daughter. Anyway, when she was shopping for her MOB dress, she asked the saleslady (at a very fancy bridal salon) for advice about what colors to wear (showing her the color swatch for my dress, and the saleslady suggested a dress for her that was the same color as the BMs. Needless to say, she looked wonderful and nobody mistook her for a BM, so I wouldn't worry.

karlcheryl

Don't worry, the MOG is only in a few pictures and typically none with the bridal party.  Plus she stands on the grooms side.

A sublte suggestion is to have her picture developed in black and white ;-)