Mama Drama - Bridal Shower Dilemma

MinniePrincessBride77

My Mother and my sister (who is my maid of honour) are jointly throwing my bridal shower, my mother does not like my FMIL (and neither do I) mainly because of the way she treats my fiance and I and hurtful things she's said, my FMIL is a very negative person who loves to complain and likes to always be centre of attention, my mother refuses to invite her to the shower because she says she will ruin it. however I would like my fiances two sisters (who live out of town) and his grandmother to be invited, but I know this is going to cause a whole bunch of drama and I don't know how to bring this up with my fiance or what to do about this!!!

gailpete

I'm afraid it would be extremely rude to not include your FMIL in the shower.  You are leaving yourself open for years of constant reminders that she was not invited. Can your FI talk to his sisters and see if they would be willing to reign in FMIL if she becomes obnoxious?

OliveOilsMom

You should be able to approach your FI about anything.  He is going to be your husband and compromise and uncomfortable conversations will have to take place.  This is a good time to start working on that.  Approach him and say "FI, I need to speak with you about something.  You know that my mother & sister are throwing my shower.  You also know how my mom feels about FMIL because of the hurtful things she says to me.  Well, she does not want to invite your mom to the shower.  How do you feel about that?  What would you think about inviting your sisters and grandmother, but not your mother?"  This will be a hard conversation, but I would look to his direction as to what to do.  If your FMIL is as negative as you say, I'm sure her son will know how she will react to such things.

AddieCake

You really are not going to be able to get away with inviting anyone from his side of the family and not his mother w/o looking like a b!tch and starting off on the wrong foot with your in-laws, so either invite her or do as Retread suggested and have a shower for just your side. 

MinniePrincessBride77

Thanks for the advice guys :

Fancypantsamy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mama-drama-bridal-shower-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:3dc13f1d-a431-40d0-a41b-c049711715bcPost:adba0b83-7ffb-4144-b0a9-9f74a92459e6">Re: Mama Drama - Bridal Shower Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]Why accept the shower at all, if your mother dislikes your fiance?
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I think the MOB dislikes the way FMIL treats the fiance, rather than disliking the FI. It as worded funny but if you re-read it you'll see what I mean. </div>