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Thinking of telling my MOH she is not in the wedding????

So i have known my MOH since i was 10.  I asked her to be my MOH and she seemed all on board, but know i have not really heard from her in a while.  When we talk we talk about the wedding but she is so annoying.  I tell her my ideas for decor, music, food and she disagrees with all of it, she thinks that her ideas are better and she argues and tries to convince me to do it her way.  It's irritaiting because she forgets its my wedding not hers.  She wants me to have music and food I don't like, she wants to have a different dress than the other BM.
My Bday was a couple of days ago and i got a text, no phone calls from her or even a card, but she sends her other friends b-day cards.  She is just too much to deal with and i think she will stress me out the day of the wedding instead of helping. 
I really want her out of the wedding but should I kick her out, and if yes how?? help

Re: Thinking of telling my MOH she is not in the wedding????

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    tommyandytommyandy member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You have us & your FI for help with wedding details & questions.

    All she has to do is show up in the correct outfit, recently showered & sober enough to walk down the aisle, stand in one spot holding your flowers, & walk back up the aisle.  Then she gets to stand around waiting for it to be her turn to join you in the pictures.  Anything else is cheese on the burger. (it's to hot out for gravy)
    Send her a text or email that has nothing to do with wedding crap & work on your friendship first.  The wedding is only 1 or 2 days, since 10 is forever.
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    KnibletKniblet member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you kick her out of the BP, you lose the friendship for good.  Period.  Are you okay with that?

    If you want to remain friends with her, do not kick her out. 

    Stop telling her ANYTHING about the wedding.  If she cannot keep her opinions to herself, just don't tell her anything at all.  The MOH doesn't have to be included in the plans.
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    kristina03akristina03a member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I was going thru something very similiar but w/ one of my BM.  My FI and I decided to ask her to step down from her position, which caused more issues then we truely wanted.  After everything was said and done she came to me and apoligized for not being there when I needed her and not helping my other BM's w/ planing.  Now looking at the situation I wish that we would have sat her down and told her the issues and coped w/ the little side drama.  (she is now back in the wedding party, but after she had time to think about what role she wanted to play in the wedding)  At the end of the day our wedding day won't focus around her but it's important that she is a part of the day. 

    Weddings are very stress not only on us, but also on our BM's.  They really only want to make the day the best for us!  Sometimes we get a bridesmaid-zilla (like in our case) and have to let it roll of our back and know that they are only trying to help.

    Good luck w/ the situation!  I'm sure it will get better after you talk to her!

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    xoxobxoxob member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    You can't do this. The WPB said the same thing as everyone here is going to say:

    Feel free to kick her out if you don't want her as a friend anymore.

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    edited December 2011
    Deja vu.  Didn't I just read this on the WP board?   The answer will not be different here.
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    edited December 2011
    You have everyone on here thats more than willing to talk about wedding plans! Perhaps its a case of jealousy or just someone who like things their way. I would absolutely talk with her first, let her know how your feeling (I had to do this with my MOH) turned out soo much better! She is very active in the wedding plans now! You may have done/said something unconsciously that offended her. You just never know! When she does argue, maybe suggest that its a great idea, just not something for you. See how that goes!

    As just about every posts says.. I wouldn't kick her out. You do risk loosing her as a friend. Again, it may be some hur t feelings that just needs to be addressed.

    Best wishes!
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    edited December 2011
    Did you not like the answers you heard on the WPB?  It's awfully childish to run to daddy when you don't like mommy's answer.
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    You made my wedding day complete.
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    edited December 2011
    Wow! saisongbird and deepcovelady you are just a rude girls!!!  I am new at this and thought I posted it in the wrong board since a post appeared after mine saying that it was for MOB and BM not for the brides...and i'm the bride.  So...no I just expect an answer or opinion, but you girls have nothing better to do than be rude!!
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_thinking-of-telling-moh-she-not-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:4154b0dd-4497-4575-825c-bbea3df61b72Post:30672e58-e67c-41c0-beae-0260307411ad">Re: Thinking of telling my MOH she is not in the wedding????</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow! saisongbird and deepcovelady you are just a rude girls!!!  I am new at this and thought I posted it in the wrong board since a post appeared after mine saying that it was for MOB and BM not for the brides...and i'm the bride.  So...no I just expect an answer or opinion, <strong>but you girls have nothing better to do than be rude!!</strong>
    Posted by go_harrison@yahoo.com[/QUOTE]

    Hey, newb? C'mon. You're on the internet. What do you expect? Please know that this is at least the 764875629384283475015th time that a complaint at how "rude" ppl are has been posted on tk. It never changes. Get over it.
    Steph and Chris, 6/26/10
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    KnibletKniblet member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    [QUOTE]Wow! saisongbird and deepcovelady you are just a rude girls!!!  I am new at this and thought I posted it in the wrong board since a post appeared after mine saying that it was for MOB and BM not for the brides...and i'm the bride.  So...no I just expect an answer or opinion, but you girls have nothing better to do than be rude!!
    Posted by go_harrison@yahoo.com[/QUOTE]

    Your problem is with your wedding party, right?  So it goes over on the Wedding Party board.  Technically, this board is for the MOMS and MAIDS to ask advice, although I think some of them get scared of by BRIDES constantly complaining about their moms and maids.

    And I hate to tell you this, but the responses you got on this board are NOTHING compared to what they COULD be.  Lurk on other boards.  You will see what I mean.

    Brides on TK, for the most part, don't like to see ANYONE talk of "firing" a BM.  You asked them, let them stay.  Period.
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    KnibletKniblet member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    P.S.  When you signed up for your TK account, you should have NOT used your email address as your screen name.  It said that right above where you typed it in.  If you are not too attached to it, make a new account and use that one.

    There are some CREEPY people on TK that can do bad things with your email address.
    vacation vacation vacation vacation
    It's almost here! Weeeeeeee!
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    my read shelf:
    Jaime's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    43/70 books read

    Back in June 2010...
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_thinking-of-telling-moh-she-not-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:4154b0dd-4497-4575-825c-bbea3df61b72Post:30672e58-e67c-41c0-beae-0260307411ad">Re: Thinking of telling my MOH she is not in the wedding????</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow! saisongbird and deepcovelady you are just a rude girls!!!  I am new at this and thought I posted it in the wrong board since a post appeared after mine saying that it was for MOB and BM not for the brides...and i'm the bride.  So...no I just expect an answer or opinion, but you girls have nothing better to do than be rude!!
    Posted by go_harrison@yahoo.com[/QUOTE]

    Well this will definantly make people want to help you. You asked the same thing on the WP board the other day and got TONS of responses. Did you really think you would get a different answer telling you it is ok to kick out your MOH. I'll tell you the same thing I told you the other day.  If you want to kick her out of the wedding call her up and tell her that you don't want to be her friend any longer. The BM status will be understood from that.
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