Should I mind my own business?

DaveandRoxy

Ok. So long story short (sort of) my FI and I are getting married 3/2/2013. I’ve never met his parents because they live in Vermont and have not come to visit my FI in the 4 years we’ve been together. His parents have really shown no interest at all about the wedding (this isn’t his first, but it’s my first). In fact, his parents haven’t attended his military graduation, military retirement, last wedding or college graduation. He doesn’t talk about it much but I can tell this really upsets him. It upsets me, too. It’s not fair. Lately, his mom has been voicing her “disapproval”. Not directly, but kind of hints towards it. I’m not sure why, she’s never met me nor does she know a thing about me. My FI is sure that they are not coming to the wedding, yet another life event they choose to miss out on. I so just want to call them up and ask them personally to attend. Like, maybe they won’t because he hasn’t asked and just assumes they don’t want to. Then again I’ve never even talked to his parents… Maybe that’s a bad impression bossing them around and such? I usually try and mind my own business. But I can’t stand when my FI is blue. Should I do anything about it? Or is this just not my fight?

AEPerpete

I would just send them an invitation.It's really up to him, and on a side note, you might regret trying in the first place if they decide to come, and things don't go so well. There is a reason they don't try to reach out to eachother more, and maybe it's best this way.

pearlaqua

While there is a lot going on with his parents, I'm not seeing why your FI hasn't made the trip to introduce you to his parents in the four years you've been together.  Trains/planes/cars run both ways.  So whatever it is that is keeping this family apart seems to be beyond you.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_should-i-mind-my-own-business?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:422dd067-b50e-4f5a-882f-2b490ba6a5c8Post:1778f68b-9502-4e78-9913-9d0d91f10075">Re: Should I mind my own business?</a>:
[QUOTE]While there is a lot going on with his parents, I'm not seeing why your FI hasn't made the trip to introduce you to his parents in the four years you've been together.  Trains/planes/cars run both ways.  So whatever it is that is keeping this family apart seems to be beyond you.
Posted by pearlaqua[/QUOTE]

Exactly what I was thinking.  Why haven't the two of you made the trip to see his parents?  DH and I met in 2001.  Our wedding nine years later marked the first time anyone in his family made the trip across the country to see us.  Every other time, we've gone to CA.

skippylouwho

They've never visited you in 4 years. Have you visited them in 4 years?

DaveandRoxy

Well, we were both working and in college and they are retired. So you figure they'd have the time to attend his graduation, military retirement and all that jazz but they don't bother coming over. Just started a new job and finally getting some vacation time earned. But this is going on so I'm not sure if I should even bother trying to trek up there if they don't like me before they've even met me.