This is nothing new, but it sure is sad. My Mom and I have never seen eye to eye. No matter what my decision, she always wanted the other. That is, until I became pregnant and after fleeing from her twice I finally told her. Then our relationship was how it always should have been. She knew she had to treat me kindly and with respect if she ever wanted to see her grandson. Well now she's back to her old self again.
I'm engaged! And what should be a joyous occasion, she is ruining. Literally. I've tried to be nice and understanding. But her and my sister (who is also engaged) are ganging up on me. My Mother wants a traditional, old school type wedding for both of us. My sister totally agrees. I, on the other hand, have some ideas of my own and they just don't fly with them.
(My Mom says she wants to pay for our weddings. My sister accepted this, I respectfully declined her offer. She is getting married in Sept. I am getting married in Oct. It is not feasible for our parents to pay for both of our weddings and I am more than okay with that. My fiance and I are comfortable with paying for our own wedding because seriously, if you're paying for it, you should be able to have it anyway you want.)
Then, while I took my Mom and sister to look at bridesmaid dresses, they bombarded me with all these stern "opinions."
1. Telling me I have to have a beach wedding in the summer (It's in October)
2. Telling me that my wedding colors look like a birthday party, (It's malibu blue and yellow. It was sunbeam yellow..now canary yellow because I accepted their opinion)
3. Telling me that my bridesmaids should wear long dresses instead of short ones ("Because short bridesmaid dresses aren't bridesmaid dresses at all") Eventually, I found a long one I loved so we went with it.
But then, they ganged up and literally fought with me to change the date of the wedding saying that it would just look silly having a beach wedding in the winter.
I put my foot down. I told them that this is what my fiance and I want, a beach wedding on this date and we are not changing it. I was hurt and a little teary eyed. And my Mom hurried up and said that I should not be offended, she is my Mother and has a right to bonk heads with me.
But now, the icing on the cake.. I want two Maids of Honor. I asked my sister and my best friend because I wanted the two closest women to my heart to be at my side, well my Mom freaked. Just yesterday she called me and said I was a horrible person for not letting my sister bask in her title, alone. I told her why I chose them and that there is nothing biblically or etiquettely wrong with my decision and after I listened to her rant, I told her I was sorry she felt that way but this is my decision. She then hung up on me.
I am unsure how to handle this. It hurts me and yet, if you can understand.. My whole life I just wanted acceptance from her and I never got it. My fiance knows all too well of our relationship and tells me to just let her go. She has put me in more pain than I care to describe. But still it is hard to let go, I wanted respect and understanding and I now know, she will never change. Deep down, I guess I've always known that though.