Moms and Maids

Dad vs. Mom

My mom wants to walk me down the aisle with my dad. I am pretty untraditional about most things but I always imagined walking down the aisle with just my dad. My dad seems hesitant because he too always imagined this important part a certain way. I have no problem compromising what I imagined if it is something my mother really wants. But, my dad is disappointed with the idea. They both are waiting for me to make a decision….but I can’t help but feel like I’m choosing between what my mom wants vs. what my dad wants. Everyone says its entirely up to me....all I want is for everyone to be happy. Has anyone been to wedding or is having a wedding where both parents walk the bride down the aisle…. 

Re: Dad vs. Mom

  • Maybe your dad can walk you down and your mother stand up when they ask who gives you away? I'm in a similar situation because my mother had both parents walk her down, but like you, I've always just thought it would be my dad and I. There is no good answer I can give you. Good luck!
  • Thank you for your help. I am going to bring up the idea of my mother waiting half way and also the idea of my mother standing up when they ask who gives you away. I think the alternatives will help my parents at least open up to the idea of a compromise. Thank you again!! :):)
  • I am having both my parents walk me down the aisle to present me to my future husband. It is actually a traditional custom in Jewish wedding ceremonies that has become popular among many contemporary couples of all cultures. Basically, it's your wedding and you can do what ever you want.

    And please don't over look the fact that you have two loving parents that are proud and eager to walk you down the aisle... This is coming from a bride (I'm an only child) that is hoping to have both my parents (divorced for 12 years) put their issues aside for 2 minutes to walk with me. So don't let this stump you. You may not have imagined it this way, but how many things in your life have happened in a different way than you had imagined but turned out even better?? 

    I urge you to consider it at the very least... it could be a wonderful moment for you to have with both of your parents that you will never have again.

    Good luck & Congratulations on your wedding!

    Anniversary
  • Thank you brita722, that was so beautifully said! 
  • Yes as Brita said having both parents is a Jewish tradition but a lot of ppl of all religions are doing it. I live in an area where there's a large Jewish population so this is very common. I'm not having a Jewish wedding but I think I want both parents to walk me too. There is something so sweet about getting to the end of the aisle and having both ur parents there AND your fiancé.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    This in not new. Both my parents walked me down the aisle when I was married 34 years ago. My mom did not ask, but I thought she deserved the honor as much as my dad did. My family is Catholic, but we were married in the United Church of Christ.

    My daughter has asked both her dad and I to escort her and her fi is planning to ask both his parents to escort him. Neither are being 'given away,' just a nice way to show that both families support their marriage. She is having a secular ceremony.
                       
  • Like it was stated above, it's a Jewish tradition for both parents to walk you down the aisle and I plan on having both my parents do so. They are both my parents, and they both raised me, so they should get the honor. 

    Maybe sit down and talk to your father. Explain you're not choosing your mother over him, but that you both of them are your parents and you love them both very much and it would be a honor to you for them to both escort you down the aisle. They aren't giving you away, but ascorting you on the last steps before beginning your journey in a new life. 

    And only your father can do the father-daughter dance. ;-)
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