Help! Out of control bride!!

Robercat

I originally had offered to host a bridal shower for my friend who is getting married in November. After finding out there would be over 90 guests, I told her I was sorry, but I couldn't afford more than 30, maybe I could throw the engagement party instead. I had it all planned (the party is mid August) when she called and said her fiancé didn't want to have the party at the venue I had picked, it was going to be small and I was going to BBQ. After turning down all other venues in town, she decides she would rather have it at a restaurant, and by the way we are now inviting 50. I found a restaurant that can accommodate our party. When I called to get the final guest list it now 65 ppl. There are only 100 ppl invited to the wedding, which is a destination wedding. I feel like she is using me to have a reception for all the people who can't attend the wedding. She always says how thankful she is, and how she doesn't want to be a burden, as she keeps adding more and more. How do I back out of throwing this party? I can't afford to host a huge party and travel expenses for her wedding.

kmmssg

You need to just bow out, and honestly, you should have right after the call saying your BBQ wasn't good enough.  She is not thankful.  She is acting like a brat. Call and tell them you can't accomodate their ideas as they are too far out of your budget.

Your friend and her fiance are terribly entitled.  You have nothing to apologize for - they have caused the issues here.  Just tell them you can't accomodate that many people at a restaurant.  I am just blown away at their demands.  You are not being treated as a friend here at all.

GoodLuckBear14

Tell her "I'm sorry but I cannot host the party that you want and so I will not be hosting your e-party or your shower."

She as also incredibly out of line for doing anything more than providing you a guest list within the number that you said you could host.

MairePoppy

I agree with the pps. You should have told her at the start that you could afford to host 30 guests at a backyard bbq for her shower. If that's not the type of party that she wanted, she should have politely declined. And you should not have tried to improve your original offer, which was very, very generous. At this point you should tell her that you can't afford the kind of party that she wants, so you will not be hosting anything.

willywally5

Totally agree with PPs. And wow, what an entitled couple they seem to be! They don't seem to grasp that a shower is a gift for which they ought to be grateful instead of acting the way they are.

pearlaqua

Let us know what happens.  I think, OP, that your hunch is right: they are using you to have an ad hoc reception for those who can't make it to their Destination Wedding.

sparkles776

I agree, I think they are using you. They do seem terribly entitled and I would completely back out of throwing them anything. If they dont like what you were willing to do for them, which is so generous, they can find someone else to take advantage of. Please let us know what happens.