Bridesmaids Dresses - Buyers Remorse

kafie

My four bridesmaids live in 3 different cities (I live in a 4th city) and are a wide range of sizes from very short to very tall to very plus size. We were all in the same city for one day in Februrary and we went shopping and bought dresses. I wasn't ready to buy, but they wanted to do it while we were together. I made a spur of the moment decision and now I'm having major second thoughts.

I wanted mismatched dresses that were different shades of blue, but three of the four picked out the same dress in navy. My sister picked a different dress that is navy and whited patterned. I went with it spur of the moment. Since she is the maid of honor, I figured it was ok if she stood out and we would make the best man stand out in some way too. 

The patterned dress is the maid of honor's, the solid is similar to the other bridesmaids', except the one they are wearing is satin. This is my dress (I'm not wearing a belt):  http://www.weddingshoppeinc.com/blog/index.php/2011/04/04/wedding-dress-of-the-week-enzoani-fabi/

Is this going to look awful? Can you return bridesmaids' dresses? What should we do with the groomsmen and 2 flower girls?

calliopeia2013

See, I think this looks awesome- it's almost exactly what I'd want to do for mine.  Groomsmen in black tuxes with a dark-ish blue bout (I'm anti-colored vests) and flower girls in white with a navy sash, or just white.  Or, if it's a morning/afternoon wedding, groomsmen in morning suits.

I'm not 100% clear on what you don't like about it- is it just the MOH dress you don't like, or is there something about the one the rest of the BMs will be wearing that's the issue?  And as for returning things, I can't answer that because it depends on the return policy of the place where you bought it.  Bridal stores often don't allow returns, though.

kafie

I'm worried that the MOH dress will be whiter than mine or thst mine and hers will look overwhelming together or that she won't look like part of the bridal party. I also don't like the satin. We want the rest of the bridal party to be pretty casual and I'm worried they'll look overdressed.

My fiance wants to do charcoal gray pants, white shirts and suspenders for the groomsmen (no jackets). He's wearing charcoal gray pants with a vest and may or may not wear a jacket. We were thinking of having the best man wear a different shirt or tie. What color woudl you go with?

 The bridesmaids are pushing for TOMs for shoes. What colors would you go with for those?

AdeleDazeem

I don't think it's going to look awful at all!  I think it's going to be fun.  The patterned dress is going to liven things up a bit next to the plain blue of the other girls.  Your dress is also a little funky and different so it all fits together.

Here's a picture that I found while googling of a maid of honor in a different dress - I like the whole look!

artbyallie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaids-dresses-buyers-remorse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:4cb702c4-1e35-4166-bd58-03e51bfcc015Post:ea48bfe9-96ae-4c72-9328-eb86ac800564">Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Buyers Remorse</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm worried that the MOH dress will be whiter than mine or thst mine and hers will look overwhelming together or that she won't look like part of the bridal party. I also don't like the satin. We want the rest of the bridal party to be pretty casual and I'm worried they'll look overdressed. My fiance wants to do charcoal gray pants, white shirts and suspenders for the groomsmen (no jackets). He's wearing charcoal gray pants with a vest and may or may not wear a jacket. We were thinking of having the best man wear a different shirt or tie. What color woudl you go with?  The bridesmaids are pushing for TOMs for shoes. What colors would you go with for those?
Posted by kafie[/QUOTE]

<div>Your dress is very formal. The bridesmaids will look great. Please convince your groom that he and his groomsmen must wear jackets. Just shirts and suspenders will look far too casual next to your dress. And I would steer clear of TOMs as well, especially since the bridesmaid dresses are short. They're so casual and wouldn't look good.</div>

Summer2011Bride

I think the dresses will look great as is. If the BMs like them and are happy with them, I would probably leave it. I think you might end up liking it when you see it all together.

I would skip the TOMS though. Admittedly, I am very against casual footwear with formalwear in general. I get why people do it; it looks weird to me. With short dresses and flat casual shoes, i think it will wreck the whole look. At least for the ceremony, I would suggest they wear some type of formal shoe--maybe leave the actual shoe up to them. They can always change into Toms for the reception if they want I suppose.

ootmother2

I would also skip the TOMS

saric83

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaids-dresses-buyers-remorse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:4cb702c4-1e35-4166-bd58-03e51bfcc015Post:ea48bfe9-96ae-4c72-9328-eb86ac800564">Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Buyers Remorse</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm worried that the MOH dress will be whiter than mine or thst mine and hers will look overwhelming together or that she won't look like part of the bridal party. I also don't like the satin. We want the rest of the bridal party to be pretty casual and I'm worried they'll look overdressed. My fiance wants to do charcoal gray pants, white shirts and suspenders for the groomsmen (no jackets). He's wearing charcoal gray pants with a vest and may or may not wear a jacket. We were thinking of having the best man wear a different shirt or tie. What color woudl you go with?  The bridesmaids are pushing for TOMs for shoes. What colors would you go with for those?
Posted by kafie[/QUOTE]

I think the dresses will look really nice together!  But I would definitely skip the TOMS, especially considering the MOH's dress.  If the guys will be wearing grey, I would have the girls do any silver shoe.  For the guys, maybe have all of them wear the vests, but FI could wear a white tie, and the guys could wear a navy tie. 

EK2013

The dresses look like they'll work together really well. With the dresses, the ladies could wear either nice sandals or heels in navy, metallic, or one of your other wedding colors.

(Even if the color white on the MOH dress is whiter than your dress, you'll still obviously be the bride and everyone will just assume that white details = honor attendant.)

I would suggest, if possible, jackets for the men. One can always take a jacket off later for the reception, but it's much harder to decide last minute to wear a jacket, and your dress is so formal that the men will look more appropriate near you with jackets. (This stands even if the rest of the guests are coming "casual"--no one judges if the wedding party is a degree of formality above the regular guests, but people might if it's the reverse.)

melb2013

I would also suggest a grey suit for the men- they need to wear jackets to match the formality of your dress.  I love the bridesmaid's dresses!  Really cute!  I like the idea of the flower girl in white with a navy sash.  No TOMs.  I think the short dresses really call for heels- again that matches the formality of your dress.

MairePoppy

Your dress is gorgeous! The MOH and BM dresses should be dressed up, with pumps,  or dress sandals. Give everyone a color and let them pick their own dress shoes. The Toms and no jacket look would seem out of place with your dress.

kafie

This is the look the groom/groomsmen are going for: for: http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4102/4791674687_95432a258d.jpg Although we haven't decided on shirt and tie colors. 

The thing is that our wedding has a handmand / vintage and I really really don't want a formal looking bridal party. Our beer is home brewed, our centerpieces are handmade and I will probably be making the bouquets from knitted flowers, which is why I hate the fact that the bridesmaids are wearing satin. 

My dress is formal, but I'm wearing super casual flats, carrying a knitted bouquet, not wearing a belt, wearing a handmade headpiece, and wearing vintage jewelry. The dess (when you take the belt off) is actually very soft and looks great with the rest of our theme. 

We love the TOMS and the look of the groomsmen and we really really don't want to give that up, but I want to figure out how to get the bridesmaids dresses to fit in with that vision, because they are out of place. 

We're also on a tight budget and so are some of our bridal party. We're asking groomsmen to buy pants, suspenders and a tie (total around $80) and are picking up the cost for at least one of them, but we can't ask them to spend more to buy or rent a jacket, some of them just can't afford it and we don't have the cash to pick up any more of the tab.

Kate61487

Honestly I think, if anything, your dress is the one that will look out of place with toms and no jackets.  Like PPs said it is very formal.  The BMs dresses will be very cute, even with the casual level you're aiming for. 

I, too, would ditch the toms, at least for the ceremony.  If you're concerned about the BP's costs I would think a gray or silver shoe would be much easier (they probably already own some or could borrow) than $50 toms.  If they do flats or sandals the look will be more casual than pumps.

kafie

My dress looks different on that it does in the pic. I'm not wearing the belt or a petticoat (so the skirt is not as full) and the fabric is really light, flowy and has a lot of movement, so it works really well with the softer elements like knitted bouquets etc. 

These are my shoes: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bulnXEXlHuU/Txr4GmUhEkI/AAAAAAABSks/kCd-CScVXDQ/s1600/French+Sole+Global+Postage+Stamp+ballet+flats+1.jpeg   (My fiance and I lived in different countries for the last two years, so our wedding is vintage travel themed)

These are the TOMs I was thinking of having the girls get: http://www.toms.com/womens/ballet-flats-1/ash-canvas-ballet-flats

The grey would match the GM's pants, but I could also go with one of the colors in my shoes (maybe red or yellow?). The money trouble is more with us and on the GMs side. The BMs are ok money-wise and are begging me to let them wear TOMs. (It was their idea haha.)

We've also been trying to put our money towards things we want to support and working on purchasing as ethically as we can (creating a menu with local produce and Amish-raised meat, choosing a non-profit as our venue, etc.), so TOMs works well with that too. 

AdeleDazeem

I've actually been wondering if you meant Toms the ballet flats or Toms the original.  Original would be clunky, but the ballet flats are such a better style.

It's up to you.  I'm not sure I like that color with the blue dresses. 

TheSlowskys

I just looked at other pics of your dress including ones without the belt. I think it is too formal for the wedding you are going for.

BakerMommy

Toms wedges would look cute!

erinlin25

The dresses are great!  But TOMS do not go with formal dresses...
And I agree that the guys should have jackets since you and the girls have formal attire.

EmpireMomof3

Joy2611 said:

Wow. I really like this layout for the party and their attire.

Viczaesar

This was from last July.

EmpireMomof3

Viczaesar said:

This was from last July.

Yeah I realized that after I hit post and thought to myself hmmmm the person above me bumped a reallllly old post.