Moms and Maids

Parents gifts if you're paying for the wedding yourself?

My FI and I are paying for the wedding 100% ourselves. Do we still get our parents gifts? I'm not sure the ettiquette on this.
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Re: Parents gifts if you're paying for the wedding yourself?

  • I view parent gifts as a thank you not just for the wedding, but as a "Hey thanks for raising me." or "Thanks for raising my soon to be husband/wife."

    So, my answer would be yes.
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  • Aks3131Aks3131 member
    Parent's gifts are to thank them for contributing or just a hey thanks for being the best parents ever. If you want to get them a gift then go right ahead there is nothing wrong with giving a gift just because they did not contribute financially.
  • MOB, here - If you don't want to buy gifts for the parents, don't. But your decision shouldn't be based on whether or not they contributed to your wedding budget. They would probably appreciate a 'love letter' from their daughter or son far more than anything you could buy them. So you and fi could take some time to put in writing what your parents have meant to you. Let them know that you are happy to be marrying the love of your life and that you are glad they will be there on your special day. If you decide to buy a gift, make it a picture frame and a promise of a picture of you and your new husband with your parents on your wedding day.
  • I'm a MOB, too ... never heard of a parent gift til TK either. BUT, I do think it's really cool if you are so inclined. Also, I agree with MairePoppy about a heartfelt letter being an amazing gift or the photo frame idea is lovely as well. 
  • I did not give parent gifts at my wedding last year.  I'm 47, my H is 45, and we paid for the entire wedding ourselves (just as an fyi)

  • ginadogginadog member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    I never heard of it either.  I couldn't give them anything that conveyed 'you're the best parent ever' however!
  • We're paying for our wedding and our parents gave us money as presents; we certainly don't owe them a present but I thought it would be nice to give both sets of parents a copy of the wedding album once the photographer completes it.

    I just think it's a nice gesture; certainly not mandatory but nice.
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  • edited May 2012
    My FI and I are paying for the vast majority of our wedding on our own. My parents are doing the catering and that is the only financial help we are getting. So, I am "sorta" in the same boat as you in the fact that I am paying for a good chunk on my own.

    However, I agree that regardless if you are paying or if parents are paying for the wedding, a little gift is always appreciated. We just bought both set of parents their own champagne flutes for the wedding and have purchased picture frames that allow for 2 pictures to be in it. One side is going to have our wedding picture and the other side is going to have a "thank you/we love you" note that we will write to them to show our appreciation for everything that they have ever done for us, etc.
  • Thanks Knotties! Like most brides, I'm new at this! There are things I've never heard of before that people are telling me "oh no, you have to do that". I just am not sure! People have told me you buy parent's gifts if they pay for your wedding, but then I didn't know if that was true or not. I've never heard of parents gifts before, just bridal party gifts.

    Thank you hancc, that's a great idea!
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