How can I include my FMIL?

MrsWEB3

I really want my FMIL to feel included in the wedding and planning.  Her son is her only child so she misses out on all the fun girl stuff!  I'm also worried about her feeling uncomfortable about the difference in my family's income and the groom's side.  My family will be paying for the wedding.  Everyone is nice people, I don't want anyone to feel intimidated when price tags start being discussed!

Help?!  How do I include her without making her feel guilty?

CourtneyBC

I totally understand where you're coming from. My FI isn't an only child, but he is one of two boys, and he has no sisters, so my FMIL never gets to be a MOB and be one of the main planners, either. With her, we've just talked about every little detail. She hasn't gone to any of the meetings with vendors, but her opinions have been taken into consideration on almost every single detail. Remember, it's also usually the groom's family that hosts the RD. Since she has only one son, she probably will want to plan/pay for the RD. In which case, she'll have enough planning to do to keep her excited about the wedding.

CourtneyBC

Also, you should go shopping for her MOG dress together. My FMIL was thrilled to have a girl go shopping with her because she is ALWAYS surrounded by boys who don't care. You might ask yours if she wants to go shopping together. You could also pick out shoes/jewelry together.

quotequeen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_can-include-fmil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:5021a991-0c38-474f-8299-1ee4c86cd6f3Post:cf38109f-7a13-4035-abe9-f0c20a2c9041">How can I include my FMIL?</a>:
[QUOTE]I really want my FMIL to feel included in the wedding and planning.  Her son is her only child so she misses out on all the fun girl stuff!  I'm also worried about her feeling uncomfortable about the difference in my family's income and the groom's side.  My family will be paying for the wedding.  Everyone is nice people, I don't want anyone to feel intimidated <strong>when price tags start being discussed</strong>! Help?!  How do I include her without making her feel guilty?
Posted by MrsWEB3[/QUOTE]

There's no reason for price tags to ever be discussed with people who aren't paying for things.  You can show her pictures of things and ask for her opinions after you've decided which ones are in your price range.  She doesn't need to know the prices at all.

Muffin'sMom

What PP said...price never needs to be mentioned.  The idea of offering a special dress/accessory shopping day is sweet too!

JennaV26

I invited my FMIL to go with us when I started looking for a wedding dress and I think she really enjoyed it, especially because she was there when we found The One! I also think she likes getting to keep it a secret from FI lol

To keep her involved ask her opinions on things like food and flowers. You can also send her pictures of things like the bridesmaid dresses or hairstyles your thinking of doing!