"Best Maid" woes

swimmy1988

The best man at our wedding is actually my fiance's best friend, and is female. When we first got engaged, he established with her that she'd be wearing a suit, and that's actually what she would prefer to wear, so it seemed like no big deal.

Then fast forward to about a week ago. We're five months away from our wedding, so the guys are starting to think about ordering their tuxes soon to rent. We have a $40 off coupon on all tux orders because I went to a bridal show last weekend to get it. But even with this coupon, the best maid is now saying that she refuses to pay for her attire.
My fiance and I established with our attendants that they'd be looking after their own attire costs, so this sort of throws us in a bit of a predicament.

What can we do?
We don't really want to have to kick  her out of the wedding, as that's a big no no unless we want a friendship to end (and we don't, even if she can be difficult). But my fiance's money is tied up with other wedding costs so he can't really cover for her tux either. Unfortunately this woman isn't very open to talking things over that aren't really going her way. So we're at a standstill of what to do here. Any suggestions?

Maggie0829

Did you discuss her budget before picking a tux? Even with $40 off it may be out of her price range.

OliveOilsMom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_best-maid-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:505a002d-19c0-4dcd-bc6e-06e5a448c470Post:bd32438c-4efc-4b43-b2fc-53c93ba8e851">"Best Maid" woes</a>:
[QUOTE]The best man at our wedding is actually my fiance's best friend, and is female. When we first got engaged, he established with her that she'd be wearing a suit, and that's actually what she would prefer to wear, so it seemed like no big deal. Then fast forward to about a week ago. We're five months away from our wedding, so the guys are starting to think about ordering their tuxes soon to rent. We have a $40 off coupon on all tux orders because I went to a bridal show last weekend to get it. But even with this coupon, the best maid is now saying that she refuses to pay for her attire. My fiance and I established with our attendants that they'd be looking after their own attire costs, so this sort of throws us in a bit of a predicament. What can we do? We don't really want to have to kick  her out of the wedding, as that's a big no no unless we want a friendship to end (and we don't, even if she can be difficult). But my fiance's money is tied up with other wedding costs so he can't really cover for her tux either. Unfortunately this woman isn't very open to talking things over that aren't really going her way. So we're at a standstill of what to do here. Any suggestions?
Posted by swimmy1988[/QUOTE]

Has she been in a wedding before?  Does she know that BM or GM, she is responsible for paying for her own attire?  And as Maggie said, did you ask for her budget first?  Maybe she feels uncomfortable wearing a suit?  Have you offered her the option of purchasing a BM gown in the same color suit as the guys?

swimmy1988

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_best-maid-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:505a002d-19c0-4dcd-bc6e-06e5a448c470Post:46e62136-49a4-4b24-b39e-313f6f9dc9f8">Re: "Best Maid" woes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to "Best Maid" woes : Has she been in a wedding before?  Does she know that BM or GM, she is responsible for paying for her own attire?  And as Maggie said, did you ask for her budget first?  Maybe she feels uncomfortable wearing a suit?  Have you offered her the option of purchasing a BM gown in the same color suit as the guys?
Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]

I don't think she's been in a wedding before, and when we got engaged we asked for budgets. But now the budget that was agreed on seems to be too much. Perhaps I can ask my fiance if he can ask her if she'd rather wear a black dress to match the guys' suits instead of paying for a a tux rental, unfortunately the bridesmaids dresses are over the budget of what the tuxes would be, so that would be out of the question.

The guys haven't chosen their tux styles yet, so hopefully they can look at the least expensive ones and choose from that if she doesn't want to wear a dress.

Thanks for your suggestion!

AddieCake

I think the black dress sounds like a good compromise.

swimmy1988

My fiance and I made a compromise with her. She's going to wear a black dress. As she can't afford what the bridesmaids paid for their dresses, I did give some inexpensive options that would sort of match the others as well as the guys. I think we'll get her to wear a violet neck scarf type thing as opposed to a tie in order to match the maid of honour's colour.
It's the best option given her behaviour.