Moms and Maids

MOH tattoos and piercings

A bit of backstory:

My MOH has multiple tattoos as well as piercings including having her septum pierced. She doesn't wear jewlery that is inceribly tacky or anything just a small piece that can easily be flipped up inside of her nose which is something that she does daily for work.

The issue at hand:

My mother things that she should not have her piercings or tattoos visible. And in her mind my tattoos shouldn't be visable either. She says that if I let things things go and let the tattoos and body piercings be shown that I will regret it later in life. My MOH has also already offered to flip up her septum piercing and cover her tattoos should that be what I decide.

I personally think that if this is who she is why should I ask her to cover these things up? I have tattoos as well. If I don't want to cover mine up why should she have to? And the reason I don't want to cover mine up is because when I got them I knew that I was making a lifetime commitment to them. Why try to play pretend? I love them. That is why I got them to begin with. They all have signifigant meaning to me as do hers to her.

So here's the question:

Should I give my mother's concerns more thought? Might she be right and may I regret my decision later? I don't feel like I will but I am afraid that I am too short sighted in this.

Re: MOH tattoos and piercings

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-tattoos-and-piercings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:55cef37d-96e4-46ac-a672-73bebcefe9f4Post:f9c28123-662f-47c2-8b59-f74d26553aa3">MOH tattoos and piercings</a>:
    [QUOTE]A bit of backstory: My MOH has multiple tattoos as well as piercings including having her septum pierced. She doesn't wear jewlery that is inceribly tacky or anything just a small piece that can easily be flipped up inside of her nose which is something that she does daily for work. The issue at hand: My mother things that she should not have her piercings or tattoos visible. And in her mind my tattoos shouldn't be visable either. She says that if I let things things go and let the tattoos and body piercings be shown that I will regret it later in life. My MOH has also already offered to flip up her septum piercing and cover her tattoos should that be what I decide. <strong>I personally think that if this is who she is why should I ask her to cover these things up? I have tattoos as well. If I don't want to cover mine up why should she have to? And the reason I don't want to cover mine up is because when I got them I knew that I was making a lifetime commitment to them. Why try to play pretend? I love them. That is why I got them to begin with. They all have signifigant meaning to me as do hers to her.</strong> So here's the question: Should I give my mother's concerns more thought? Might she be right and may I regret my decision later? I don't feel like I will but I am afraid that I am too short sighted in this.
    Posted by dysfunctional7[/QUOTE]

    <div>You have your answer right here. And honestly? Even if your mom is right and you end up regretting it... pictures can be edited. But I think capturing the moment as it truly was is important. Why bother changing the way you look (in an extreme way, anyway... of course you want to look your best... but you should still be <em>you!</em>) just to take a picture?</div>
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  • ditto PP, we all knew when we made these permenant marks on our skin that we might regret it someday, but today is not that day :-)  Be recorded as you are, no sense trying to hide it!
  • FI has multiple piercings that will be visible in photos. I would regret it more later looking at the photos and realizing that we'd run around covering things up, than I will with them showing. Even if you have your tattoos and/or piercings removed later, I bet you will still feel better about yourself knowing that you and your MOH were confident and proud of who you are, than having essentially censored your appearances for the sake of the photos looking like some ideal of perfection.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    ditto artbyallie.
    I don't think you or your moh should cover up your tattoos or peircings for the sake of your wedding pictures. If you want to please your mom, you could have a special wedding portrait made up for her, with your tattoos airbrused out of them.
                       
  • joleri23joleri23 member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    edited June 2012
    What your mom needs to realize is that your tattoos are part of you, as they are part of your maid of honor, and you shouldn't have to hide who you are on one of the most important days of your life. Maybe you can compromise and have a few photos taken wearing a shawl or shrug to cover your tattoos.

    Besides, most tattoos look so beautiful in wedding photos! Especially bright colorful half-sleeves. Smile
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  • I would definitely not ask MOH to cover her tattoos. it's up to you if you want to cover your own, but you obviously got the tats because you liked them and now they are part of you, so I'd lean toward not covering them up.


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  • Tat's part of the girl. If she offers/elects to cover it, cool. If not, c'est la vie.

    Your mom won't die if she has to look at a tattoo. 

    As a mom, I'd be putting so much more thought into things like, 'Is my daughter going to be happy?'; 'Are people having a great time at this huge party? and 'Where is my glass of champagne?' 

    Not tattoos. 
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  • Your friend offering to tone things down, very sweet of her.  You wondering why should you ask her to, even better :)  Like the PPs are saying, they are part of the individual, they tell a story, they make us who we are :)  When my BF was picking out the dresses for her wedding (I'm MOH) she didn't know whether she wanted short or long, I pointed out that a short dress would show off my tattoo and I didn't know if she wanted that in her pictures or not.  Her response was basically 'whatever you feel awesome in' :)  Like the first poster said, if you change your mind you can always have the pictures edited later, but they can't be added back in :)  I can see why you mom may have some concerns, but explain in exactly as you did here, and hopefully she'll come around :) Good luck!
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  • Think about it this way...............  You could always get the pictures back on a CD and edit a copy for your Mom, and keep the real ones for you.


    Sounds like you already have your answer... For the record, I have multiple tattoos that will be visible and it never occured to me to cover them.  They're part of who I am- why try to hide it?  Like you said, they're a lifelong committment!

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  • Thanks ladies! I hadn't ever even considered covering up our tattoos or hiding her piercings until my mom had brought it up. (Which by the way she did while drunk and in front of my MOH...classy mom, real classy) And I told her initally that I didn't see a need for it for either of us but I just started to wonder if perhaps she was right. You all helped me to put this back into perspective.

    You would think I would have learned by now not to second guess myself. Such is life.

    Thanks again ladies!!!
  • Sounds familiar, lol...I have a small tattoo on my left shoulder blade (it is something meaningful to me) and my mom has told me...not asked me, but told me I need to cover it up for my wedding because SHE doesn't want to have to look at it.  I told her that I was not covering it up and that will continue to be my response if she continues to nag me about it.  When I told her I didn't want to have to worry about covering it up and getting make up or anything anywhere near part of my dress (it's also just the principle of it, too that I am an adult and I don't have to change the way I look for anyone), she proceeded to say to me that I knew how she felt about me getting one in the first place (so she brought up when I got it like 6 years ago).  So to me, my mom was basically saying 'well, if you didn't get the tatoo in the first place, you wouldn't have to worry about me hounding you to cover it up', basically saying I brought it on myself...HA! 

    There's my backstory...and that's just for one little tattoo!  So I know how you feel.  Your mom doesn't really have the right to dictate how you should look on your wedding day, let alone your maid of honor (someone she really has no authority over).  That is very gracious of your MOH to offer hiding her piercings and tattoos, but I don't think she should feel like she has to.  I suggest that everyone is comfortable with who they are and how they look.  Everyone will be happier that way!  I really can't stand when people try to dictate to others how they should look...just because that person doesn't like it.  It's very selfish and almost a little insulting.  I know I'm rambling, lol so I'll just say that in a nutshell, do whatever makes you comfortable and let your maid of honor do what makes her comfortable!  Good luck!
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