Moms and Maids

Duties for out-of-town bridesmaids?

I'm the MOH of my best friend's wedding, and I'm throwing her a bridal shower in a couple months. The rest of the bridal party lives out of state. What are some inexpensive, helpful duties I can give them so they don't feel left out? I've got all the big stuff under control but am lacking ideas of how they can contribute (other than financially, which they already have). Suggestions?

Re: Duties for out-of-town bridesmaids?

  • Did they volunteer to do duties and help plan it? If so, someone can get invitations put together and send them out, someone else can get a guest list put together after talking to the bride and get all the necessary addresses. Food and beverage for the shower should be planned out, as well as any games if you are planning on having games.


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_duties-for-out-of-town-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:570abdff-83eb-44ec-8e00-c54eb7efa93dPost:2e64d5f1-3aa5-4acd-bb28-a08075e288c4">Duties for out-of-town bridesmaids?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm the MOH of my best friend's wedding, and I'm throwing her a bridal shower in a couple months. The rest of the bridal party lives out of state. What are some inexpensive, helpful duties I can give them so they don't feel left out? I've got all the big stuff under control but am lacking ideas of how they can contribute (other than financially, which they already have). Suggestions?
    Posted by kevalin[/QUOTE]

    You are the one hosting this.  The other BMs don't have to do anything and I don't know anyone who appreciates busy work intended to make them feel included.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • Unless they offer to help, don't assign them to do anything.  Sometimes traveling is enough of a chore.  
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_duties-for-out-of-town-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:570abdff-83eb-44ec-8e00-c54eb7efa93dPost:2e64d5f1-3aa5-4acd-bb28-a08075e288c4">Duties for out-of-town bridesmaids?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm the MOH of my best friend's wedding, and<strong> I'm throwing her a bridal shower</strong> in a couple months. The rest of the bridal party lives out of state. What are some inexpensive, helpful duties I can give them so they don't feel left out? I've got all the big stuff under control but am lacking ideas of <strong>how they can contribute (other than financially, which they already have</strong>). Suggestions?
    Posted by kevalin[/QUOTE]

    If the other BMs contributed to the shower, please remember the entire bridal party is hosting. If I was a BM, I don't care what duty I'm given, but I'd be ticked off if I found out the shower only mentioned the MOH as the host.
  • I agree with Joan.
    I'm not sure what you mean by "big stuff"
    Start by making a list of things that still need to be done.
    E-mail each of the bridesmaids individually (not a mass e-mail) and ask if they would like to help. If they say they're busy, oh well. If not, great! Let them know what needs to be done, offer them to choose one of the things and that's that.

    Again, I'm not sure what you already have done, but maybe one girl can help with getting the bride there. Another girl can be in charge of organizing games... or maybe they have some ideas of their own! If they helped financially pay for the party, they do get a say, so let them work with you, instead of for you, ya know?


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  • I was just in my two best friend's weddings, and I was the only OOT bridesmaid for both. For the first shower all of the bridesmaids contributed something (one got the gift, another the favors, another the games, etc) and we all split the finances evenly. As the OOT bridesmaid I handled games, because it was the easiest thing to prep for while far away and pieces of paper were about the only thing that would fit in my carry on!

    For the second shower, I actually didn't attend but again, being the only OOT bridesmaid wanted to be involved. I stayed in touch with MOH (brides sister) regularly asking if she needed anything, contributed a portion of what the other girls did financially, and went on Etsy and picked out some cute "marriage advice for the couple" type cards and I had them shipped directly to the MOH.

    I'm rambling, but basically, if the girls have offered to help, just ask they what they'd like to do. They can figure out what they are capable of while being OOT.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_duties-for-out-of-town-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:570abdff-83eb-44ec-8e00-c54eb7efa93dPost:0b20e7c0-2139-401e-b971-d84bd9f61555">Re: Duties for out-of-town bridesmaids?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Duties for out-of-town bridesmaids? : If the other BMs contributed to the shower, please remember the entire bridal party is hosting. If I was a BM, I don't care what duty I'm given, but I'd be ticked off if I found out the shower only mentioned the MOH as the host.
    Posted by JoanE2012[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I agree! 

    </div>
  • Thank you all for your suggestions :)
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