Mom and maid of honor (sister) refuse to help

Andrea9027

My mom and sister were very happy for my fiancé and I in the begining but now that our date is coming up faster they are refusing to be any help and are actually trying to pick fights. My sister is my maid of honor and I am only having one other bridesmaid, my best friend. My sister helped out in the begining but threw a fit when she realized that I had planned some stuff without her. I hadnt even planned it with my other bridesmaid it was between me and my fiancé. It is our wedding after all. When we went dress shopping for their bridesmaid dresses she threw a fit as did my mom. They complained that none of the dresses looked good or were too expensive even though I told them that I would pay for the dress. I told my sister she could wear whatever she liked as long as the color matched my other bridesmaids dress. Now she is saying that she doesn't even want to be in the wedding and that she won't show up unless she is the only one which I think it terrible! I can't cut my friend out especially since she has been the only one supporting me, but I also don't want my sister to not be in my wedding. Oh and did I mention that my mom doesn't want to come now either? I'm just not sure how to make sure that everyone is happy. Any advice?

msuprincess04

You can't make everyone happy, and frankly, you shouldn't have to. Tell her the peramiters of the dress (color, price limit, ect.) and tell her to get you a style by X date. Then leave it alone.

Plan your wedding with your FI and anyone else who offers to help, and have the wedding you want. Hopefully they will get over their selfish attitudes and still be there for your special day.

calliopeia2013

I admit to being curious if there's another side to this story.   Given what you've described, you should do as the PP said and tell your sister the parameters of the dress, that you'd love to have her stand up for you, and that you'll be sad if she feels that she can't make it for whatever reason, but that you'll try to understand.  Same with your mom.  You can't please everyone, and when people misbehave like this, the best (and really only) thing to do is to not entertain their misbehavior.

The thing is, their behavior sounds so absolutely crazy here that I can't help wondering if there isn't more to the story.  People don't usually just start acting BSC out of the blue, you know?  Are your mom and sister usually kind of unhinged?  Do they frequently behave rudely at major events?  If so, then maybe that explains it away.  But if this is atypical behavior for them...what on earth is going on?  And if you don't know, can you try to find out?  They're obviously PO'ed about something.....

OBX2011

I agree with PP's.

I also think that there is a lot that is missing from this story.....

semplesarah

Bless your heart. I feel for you. My mom is just as speratic as yours and I had a bridesmaid throw a fit and drop out. Dont let them run or ruin your day. It is your day!

bencomobride

My mom has completly cut herself out of wedding planning because she and i cant agree on a thing. I suggested that she take a back seat until the wedding so she can actually enjoy the cerimony and reception. I'd tell mom and sister to either help out quietly or bow out completly... but thats just my opnion

Andrea9027

update...

Looks like they are going along as if nothing has happened... I'm trying to just hold it together and praying that they will just act appropriatly on the day of.

As to what some people were saying... this is pretty typical attitudes for my mom, I guess she just is having a hard time realizing that I know what I want and that I don't need her advice every 2 minutes. I have decided that even though I don't really need her advice or help, to ask for it anyways. We kinda of had a conversation and she explained that she threw a fit because she felt that I was "cutting her out". No she didn't exactly react in a mature way but at least she talked to me about it now a bit.

thanks for the advice though, I have decided that I am just going to give both bridesmaids a deadline to get dresses by and if they do not then I will just order them dresses and make them wear it. I know that not everyone will be happy, and I have decided to just make the best of the wedding as long as my fiance and I are happy.

Sscholfield

OMG, do we share the same mother and sister (also my MOH)?? I was totally in the same boat a few months ago, and I just had to throw my hands up in the air. My mom has been a total B, and my sister only cares about herself. My friends have been amazing, and have really kept me sane through everything. If your mom and sister aren't supporting you, bond with the people who do, and tell them how much you appreciate them!