Our families are turning our wedding into a circus. It is getting to be an absolute nightmare and I'm wishing more and more that my FI had agreed to us eloping. Here is the latest "fun" thing that I could use some advice on. Let me start by saying that I know you can not tell your guests who there "plus 1" can or can't be. I also know that all issues with the my FMIL should be handled by my FI, and he plans on handling this but I wanted some feedback from people who have more experience with this kind of stuff.
My FMIL has been a bit of a nightmare with pretty much everything, even before we got engaged. She is constantly overstepping and my FI tries his hardest to make this stop but she just doesn't seem to listen. And when he does get his point across she cries and apologizes, claims we are alienating her and then goes right back to doing the same thing. Since we started planning this thing she has been adamant that her 50 guests had to be included, but we wanted a small wedding of less than 75 and most of the people on her list my FI had no interest inviting. We have been upfront with her all along about the cuts that were made to her list and she has continued to push for more of "her" people (I don't know if it's relevant, but she is not paying for any portion of the wedding). We are about to send out the save-the-dates and she has started making more of an issue of the guest list. She has demanded (not even kidding) that we invite FI's great aunt, but by inviting her we would also have to invite her 3 sisters and their husbands, which also opens up the flood gate for my mom to add. Honestly, FI hasn't spoken to any of these people in over a decade and has no desire to invite them. So now she has said that if we won't invite the great aunt then she will bring her as her guest. I am kind of horrified by this, since I think it is rude to the great aunt (sorry, you weren't important enough to get your own invitation?!?) and to the other great aunts who will not be attending. My FI is pretty upset with her and doesn't know what to do anymore.
So, now what? Do we just let her do as she pleases or should we at least let her know how we feel about?