Future Mother in law is driving me nuts!!!!!!!!!!!

LuckyNLuv2011

My Fiancee and I have a great idea of what we want for our wedding. I didn't want fake flowers but I gave in to that. So my centerpieces will be fake flowers. I showed My future mother in law a picture of what i wanted she designed what SHE wants and I completely HATE it. the problem is my fiancee actually likes it. And when i told him i didn't like it I basically lost. Then she went to the store again and picked up more flowers. My colors are Wine, Mauve and dusty pink she picked up bright pink and yellow flowers to add to the already ugly centerpiece she made. I don't know what to do i actually want to throw up everytime i see my centerpieces!

HELP PLEASE!!!!

melb2013

You abosolutely need to stop sharing your plans with your future in laws.  It's none of their business unless they're paying.  People who aren't paying should keep a smile on their faces and not disagree with your decisions, but this doesn't always happen.  

Agree with the above post that your FI should be backing you up.  These are decisions the two of you need to decide and compromise amongst the two of you, and then he needs to back up those decisions to others.

MairePoppy

I'm an MOB whose mother loves to make 'fake' flower arrangements. She did my wedding 35 years ago, she's hinting that she would like to do the flowers for my daughter's wedding. Like your FMIL, she is not able to make arrangements that suit anyone's else's taste. I really don't think she does it on purpose and we never want to hurt her feelings so I have a stash of peculiar silk and plastic floral arrangements in the spare room of my house. I display them one at a time on my kitchen table, since mom is a frequent  drop -in visitor.

I have told my mother that my daughter has her heart set on real lilies for her bouquet and centerpieces and she is very particular about colors etc.... This is not necessarily true, my daughter will probably change her mind many times, but it has gotten mom (grandma) off the subject for the time being. It has also spared my daughter the trouble of refusing her offer over and over again. Your solution is to get your fi to tell his mom that 'Lucky and I hate yellow and bright pink flowers.' Actually, he should have told her you wanted real flowers for your wedding and you and he would pay for them, but it sounds like your FMIL has already put a lot of work into this project - so it's too late for that.

This is a good time for you and fi to work on your relationship. He needs to learn that you and he are a new family unit and must stick together. I hope there is a marriage preparation program in you near future.

Good luck.

bettker88

This is tough because she will be your family after the big day. I would just sit down with her and just be honest. It's up to her to be a big girl and understand. It's your day and you should get what you want (within reason of course). You shouldn't be nauseated by the thought of your centerpieces.

TinyDancer06

Is it too late to possibly use them for something at your shower?  That way she can feel special, but on a smaller level?  I agree with the others, I would keep the wedding plans to yourself unless you absolutely value her opinion, and are ready to implement anything she suggests (and if she is offering financial help).  Also, your FI has to back you up.  The day is about the two of you, not him and his mother.  Like MairePoppy says above, this is a great opportunity for you and your FI to grow.  It is about the two of you now, and what the two of you want.  Good luck!