Mother/ Son dance

bosoxy

So yesterday my FI told me he's not doing a mother son dance.  I asked him why and he said he doesn't think it's normal and that his mom doesn't want to do it anyway.  I was a little confused because I spoke to his mom last month about what song she wanted to do and she laughed and said something upbeat, nothing sappy.  It sounded like she was excited about it and never mentioned not doing one.   I asked him if he had asked his mom if she wants one and he said he hadn't talked to her.

He also told me that a coworker of his recently got married and he didn't have a mother/ son dance and hadn't heard of it.  So my FI got to thinking it wasn't traditional.  Even though the DJ asked him what song he wanted to dance to with his mom.  Why would the DJ ask unless this is normal?

Here's the thing.  I am having a father/ daughter dance and a bride/ son dance.  I feel awkward having all this attention as it is, nevermind my FI not having a dance with his mom that is there.  It makes me think people will think they have a strained relationship.  I also think people will look at me as selfish for having all these dances and doesn't get his.

So what do you think, is it traditional/  norm if the MOG is available and they have a great relationship, to have a dance, or am I wrong in thinking this?

mgietler76

I've certainly heard of the the mother/son dance but if your FI doesn't want to do it I wouldn't pressure him into it. I also think you shouldn't have too many spotlight dances as it's really just boring to watch as a guest TBH.

I had a friend that did the 1st dance, mother/son, father/daughter, mother/daughter, and a bridal party dance. Nobody wants to stop the party to watch you guys dance with a whole bunch of people, if you really want him to dance with his mom why not have them dance the same time you dance with either your dad or your son?

AutumnFair

Definitely heard of it but if your FI and his mom don't want to do it just skip it.

bosoxy

Oh, I won't force him to do it, it just caught me off guard, and hurt my feelings a little for some reason.

Cynthia1207

He can dance with his mom and not make a theatrical production out of it.  I personally really don't like those parent/children dances.  No one feels like stopping the party because of an AW moment. Like really who feels like watching a couple dance in circles for 5-10 minutes? Not me that's for sure.  I usually head to the bar when this part of the wedding happens.

graysquirrel

I would have skipped those all together, but my dad would have been really hurt. They're pretty common in our circle. We decided that we would have the F/D & M/S at the same time to cut down on boring AW time and picked an un-sappy Sinatra song. Perhaps this would be an option that your FI could live with?

DNAtime

We are planning on doing something similar to graysquirrel.  We a combining the F/D and M/S dance into one, we think right after our first dance and then commence the dancing portion of the reception.  Hopefully it will streamline.

I would definitely make sure your FMIL weighs in before you totally scrap the idea, since you said your FI didn't actually talk to his mom.  I think these dances are more for the parents. 

SaraAndrew2010

We did a combined Father/Daughter and Mother/Son dance.  I think it is pretty typical to have some form of Mother/Son dance if the groom and MOG have a good relationship.  However, I wouldn't force your FI to do the dance if he doesn't want to.  There's no rule that says you have to have any particular dances at a wedding.

LoveMuffins

TBG I've never been to a wedding where there wasn't a father/daughter and mother/son dance. It's traditional to have those, so if your FI is just trying to do what's traditional then you should tell him that. If he doesn't feel comfortable dancing, that's a completely different thing, but I do think that you should encourage him to talk to his Mom about it because there's a good chance she may be hurt if he doesn't do it and never asks her about it.

aerinpegadrak

Before we cut dancing altogether, we were considering what to do about the parent dances.  I'm not particularly close to my dad, and DH can't stand his mom.  So our plan was to dedicate a song to me and my dad and dance to it partway into the evening, but not to clear the floor for it.  But like I said, then we just cut out dancing entirely and the point became moot.

seniah

He should talk to his mom.  If she seems to want it and he doesn't they need to discuss that.  (maybe spotlight issue?  maybe combine with bride/son dance? Moms and their special guys)

jcamm11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mother-son-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:628b0d52-41e6-4bba-a981-cfcc8c4b4279Post:72a3d629-6b5f-43e8-abd9-2e526e8c6589">Re: Mother/ Son dance</a>:
[QUOTE]He should talk to his mom.  If she seems to want it and he doesn't they need to discuss that.  (maybe spotlight issue?<strong>  maybe combine with bride/son dance? Moms and their special guys)</strong>
Posted by seniah[/QUOTE]

I like this idea.  If he and his Mom don't want to do it, don't force.  And seriously, stop worrying about what other people think!

heinz11msw

I am not dancing with my dad but I would not tell my FI he couldn't dance with his mom. People know I am not close with my dad anyways.

It's no biggie. Just a dance. Don't force him.