Brother wont go to wedding

dazzling1s

My youngest brother is dating a girl that my parents and I dissapprove of. He is now taking it out on me and will not attend my wedding and said since I dont accept his gf he wont accept my husband to be.

How do I respond?>

MairePoppy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_brother-wont-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:63417f0c-a5fa-44b8-8d6c-7e74575576fbPost:8037f514-6d74-45d6-b4c4-d62313d5becf">Brother wont go to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]My youngest brother is dating a girl that my parents and I dissapprove of. He is now taking it out on me and will not attend my wedding and said since I dont accept his gf he wont accept my husband to be. How do I respond? />
Posted by dazzling1s[/QUOTE]

Why don't you accept his girlfriend?

em01092

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_brother-wont-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:63417f0c-a5fa-44b8-8d6c-7e74575576fbPost:8037f514-6d74-45d6-b4c4-d62313d5becf">Brother wont go to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]My youngest brother is dating a girl that my parents and I dissapprove of. He is now taking it out on me and will not attend my wedding and said since I dont accept his gf he wont accept my husband to be. How do I respond? />
Posted by dazzling1s[/QUOTE]

<div>I think you have to accept this is the way he feels. Either change your feelings and welcome the girl, or prepare for your brother to not attend your wedding. You are both entitled to feel the way you feel, though I am curious as to why she is so horrid. </div>

dazzling1s

He has a higher degree than her, doctor, while she no degree and spends all his money on very superficial things while not contributing to anything moreover  she has a physical genetic deformity that will most likely be pass on to the kids.

I can understand and respect my parent’s point of view long term regarding grandkids. I see a girl that looks at my brother as a money bag since she came from nothing and I dont see love on her end.

MairePoppy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_brother-wont-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:63417f0c-a5fa-44b8-8d6c-7e74575576fbPost:5c495ead-4ec4-474d-8bf7-3712f387906d">Re: Brother wont go to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]He has a higher degree than her, doctor, while she no degree and spends all his money on very superficial things while not contributing to anything moreover   she has a physical genetic deformity that will most likely be pass on to the kids. I can understand and respect my parent’s point of view long term regarding grandkids. I see a girl that looks at my brother as a money bag since she came from nothing and I dont see love on her end.
Posted by dazzling1s[/QUOTE]

Their financial arrangement is none of your business. Rejecting another human being based on a physical deformity shows  lack of character on your part. You should change your attitude or risk losing your brother.

firechick83

WOW....question for you....Is your brother happy?  That's what it SHOULD boil down to!  Sorry but you & your parents sound like snobs.  I understand that a physical deformity can be passed to kids but that is your brother's choice!  If he is a doctor he obviously already knows the risks & doesn't care.  Get off yoru high horse & think about your brother's feelings.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_brother-wont-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:63417f0c-a5fa-44b8-8d6c-7e74575576fbPost:5c495ead-4ec4-474d-8bf7-3712f387906d">Re: Brother wont go to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]He has a higher degree than her, doctor, while she no degree and spends all his money on very superficial things while not contributing to anything moreover   she has a physical genetic deformity that will most likely be pass on to the kids. I can understand and respect my parent’s point of view long term regarding grandkids. I see a girl that looks at my brother as a money bag since she came from nothing and I dont see love on her end.
Posted by dazzling1s[/QUOTE]

How DARE she not have a degree? And ugh, I can't believe she is genetically deformed, clearly she needs to be shunned by his entire family!



You need to decide, do you want your brother at your wedding? Then get over your shallow, judgmentalal issues and invite her.
Otherwise you are making your brother choose between people he loves and that is a terrible thing to do to a person.

How she feels about him is none of your business. In the end, he loves her and he has already said he is choosing her, so suck it up or risk lose your brother.

smartlypretty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_brother-wont-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:63417f0c-a5fa-44b8-8d6c-7e74575576fbPost:5c495ead-4ec4-474d-8bf7-3712f387906d">Re: Brother wont go to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]she has a physical genetic deformity that will most likely be pass on to the kids. 
Posted by dazzling1s[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I don't like you

</div>

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_brother-wont-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:63417f0c-a5fa-44b8-8d6c-7e74575576fbPost:5c495ead-4ec4-474d-8bf7-3712f387906d">Re: Brother wont go to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]He has a higher degree than her, doctor, while she no degree and spends all his money on very superficial things while not contributing to anything moreover   <strong>she has a physical genetic deformity that will most likely be pass on to the kids</strong>. I can understand and respect my parent’s point of view long term regarding grandkids. I see a girl that looks at my brother as a money bag since she came from nothing and I dont see love on her end.
Posted by dazzling1s[/QUOTE]

Seriously??  Then how dare my MBA husband ask me with a JD to marry him.

As for your bolded part, it is just disgusting that this is a something that you think should prevent someone from marrying,

blush64

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_brother-wont-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:63417f0c-a5fa-44b8-8d6c-7e74575576fbPost:5c495ead-4ec4-474d-8bf7-3712f387906d">Re: Brother wont go to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]He has a higher degree than her, doctor, while she no degree and spends all his money on very superficial things while not contributing to anything moreover   she has a physical genetic deformity that will most likely be pass on to the kids. I can understand and respect my parent’s point of view long term regarding grandkids. I see a girl that looks at my brother as a money bag since she came from nothing and I dont see love on her end.
Posted by dazzling1s[/QUOTE]

If you are for real, and after these comments I have a hard time believing you but...

After reading this I am in shock. Your parents sound like awful people. You brother sounds like a nice guy. As a doctor I assume he is an adult and as such can make his own decisions.

Speaking of superficial.....you sound like you fit that bill.

EDIT

RaptorSLH

[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Brother wont go to wedding : I don't like you
Posted by smartlypretty[/QUOTE]

<div>We need a "like" button.  Seriously, I thought the eugenics argument was history.</div>

saric83

Wow....

You can't force him to attend your wedding just as he can force you and your parents to not be jerks.  If your reasoning has to do with his girlfriend's deformity, you're honestly lucky he even still speaks with you and your awful parents. 

em01092

If your brother is in love and is happy, then I sugget getting over everything else. You cannot make him change his mind, no matter how much you and your parents think she's a gold-digger. It is not up to you to police his life. 

As long as she is kind to you and respects you, then you have no excuse for not accepting her, IMO. Of course you can maintain this foolishness, but I think you will destroy any relationship with your brother that you have left. 

Now if she is rude to you or makes snide remarks, it's fine to let your brother know that you don't want to be treated that way, but from what it sounds like, you just don't like her because she's not as well off and because she has a deformity. Seriously? I guess I shouldn't have kids because I have 3 autoimmune diseases that my kids *could* get. 

ElisabethJoanne

tldh - Us, too! re: MBA JD

I'm thinking troll. What's a congenital, inheritable, visible deformity? I can't think of any that are serious, but I'm not a geneticist. I am someone who worries that anything and everything is becoming a genetic defect (naturally curly hair, crooked teeth) in our youth-obsessed society.

My Priest jokes that his grandson inherited his legs of different lengths from him; My Priest has one leg half-inch longer; the grandson has one leg 2 inches longer. It's slow and painful, but they can fix that now, and I don't think it's the kind of thing that should have kept or should keep the men involved from marrying and having kids.

If you can see a moneybag, you can also see an interesting person who makes your brother happy.

Unless you're a troll.

kmmssg

I'm going to hope for a troll.  If OP isn't a troll I feel very very sorry for him because his parents and sister are the epitomy of shallow and disgusting.

JennyB0825

OP, if you were my sister I wouldn't attend your wedding either.  I wouldn't have anything to do with you at all. 

Muffin'sMom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_brother-wont-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:63417f0c-a5fa-44b8-8d6c-7e74575576fbPost:b1844976-4983-4791-b4b7-7d269c94fb87">Re: Brother wont go to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm going to hope for a troll.  If OP isn't a troll I feel very very sorry for him because his parents and sister are the epitomy of shallow and disgusting.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

This.  It must be nice for you to live in such a pristine world.

melntaitt

Wow...just wow...

ootmother2

You sound dumber than dirt which is quite possible for MUD.

smartlypretty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_brother-wont-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:63417f0c-a5fa-44b8-8d6c-7e74575576fbPost:8f1b54ab-e27a-44b2-8bfe-42de2ef32979">Re: Brother wont go to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE] What's a congenital, inheritable, visible deformity? I can't think of any that are serious, but I'm not a geneticist
Posted by ElisabethJoanne[/QUOTE]



I AM a geneticist, and I'd really like to hear what she has because it just doesn't smell right.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_brother-wont-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:63417f0c-a5fa-44b8-8d6c-7e74575576fbPost:5c495ead-4ec4-474d-8bf7-3712f387906d">Re: Brother wont go to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]He has a higher degree than her, doctor, while she no degree and spends all his money on very superficial things while not contributing to anything moreover   she has a physical genetic deformity that will most likely be pass on to the kids. I can understand and respect my parent’s point of view long term regarding grandkids. I see a girl that looks at my brother as a money bag since she came from nothing and I dont see love on her end.
Posted by dazzling1s[/QUOTE]
You and your parents need to butt the heck out of your brother's relationship.  You (all of you) sound horribly judgmental and frankly I'd be pissed at you too if I were him.  Get over your (superficial and nasty) objections or be prepared to lose your brother.

AlmostMrsStrong

*is sincerely hoping this is a troll post*

[Deleted User]

You and your parents need an attitude adjustment!

As someone who is physically disabled, I find it disgusting and shallow that just because someone has a handicap, they aren't worthy of acceptance into the family.  FI family has welcomed me with open arms and do not care that we cannot provide more grandchildre.

Shame on you!

Meghannsix

I want to know what the "physical deformity" is!  Are we talking six toes on each foot or ears that stick out?  Does she have brown eyes and you guys prefer blue?  C'mon OP, enquiring  minds want to know!!

LittleMissCutiePie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_brother-wont-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:63417f0c-a5fa-44b8-8d6c-7e74575576fbPost:5c495ead-4ec4-474d-8bf7-3712f387906d">Re: Brother wont go to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]He has a higher degree than her, doctor, while she no degree and spends all his money on very superficial things while not contributing to anything moreover   she has a <strong>physical genetic deformity that will most likely be pass on to the kids.</strong> I can understand and respect my parent’s point of view long term regarding grandkids. I see a girl that looks at my brother as a money bag since she came from nothing and I dont see love on her end.
Posted by dazzling1s[/QUOTE]

You sound like a real prize. You sound like a real jerk, you know that, right?