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Bach. Party Disaster planned!

I am in a wedding with 7 BM and no MOH.  I am throwing the shower and another BM decided to throw a "surprise" bachelorette party.  The bride has found out about the activities planned for the bachelorette party and doesn't want to do any of it!  She doesn't even want to go!  She's not a wild person and would like to just have a relaxing day.  She asked me to talk to the other BM so I sent her an email (I can never get her on the phone) and she sent back a nasty response to me basically saying to butt out and don't try to take over her plans.  I was hoping to take care of this without stressing the bride out but I don't know how else to get the other BM to listen!  Ugh!  I want the bride to enjoy her party but I'm afraid she's going to be miserable.  It's like the BM planned the party for what she wants to do and didn't think about what the bride wants.  So frustrating!

Re: Bach. Party Disaster planned!

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    edited December 2011
    The BM should have probably asked the bride what types of things she enjoyes doing, even if she kept the final plans a secret. But, since she is the hostess and not the bride, she is the one who gets to plan.

    I would probably stay out of it if I were you. Since the bride found out, I'd just encourage her to either suck it up and go through with it (unless it's something she's morally against like strippers), or have HER talk to the BM in charge. I know you just wanted to help the bride out, but it's not really your place to get involved, esp. if the BM is going to be unreasonable.


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    sparent2010sparent2010 member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bach-party-disaster-planned?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:63c05f47-84db-4bfd-b403-e2d7e9c058ecPost:f0ca1df2-a164-4ebf-ad13-666c972ad272">Re: Bach. Party Disaster planned!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I disagree with the above post. Anyone who plans a party that the bride absolutely won't enjoy, and makes her uncomfortable, isn't being a true friend.....that MOH is planning the party SHE wants. The bride should call up the MOH and decline the party. Period.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    <div>I am pretty sure there is no MOH in this situation, However, I agree with you I would not go along for something I was totally against. I am not a party girl I would rather go to the beach and hang out during the day with my friends. Try to steer clear of the argument but let the bride know if there is anytthing you can do to help you would be willing to. Talk with the BM and see if she can tone it down some or do something more the bride's speed :)</div>
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    LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I would talk to the Bride, let her know that there's nothing you can do to change the plans and suggest that she decline the party if she's that uncomfortable with it. However you could still put a positive spin on it and say that maybe it will be more fun than she thinks, but that you'll support whatever her decision is.

    My MOH had a BM like this when she got married, and she was DEF planning a shower that was for herself, not for the bride. she was a nightmare to deal with, because she was also a control freak and took EVERYTHING personally. fortunately for the bride this particular BM was also a total flake, and she flaked on planning the bach party and it got passed to me. of course, then i had to deal with the BM trying to tell me how to plan it, but i ignored her and gave the bride what shse wanted, otherwise the bride might've just declined the party.
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    AutumnFairAutumnFair member
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    edited December 2011
    Unless the Bride is wanting something lavish and costly (which doesn't sound like the case), the BM needs to respect the Brides wishes when it comes to certain party elements. If the BM isn't listening to you, you need to tell the Bride that she needs to handle it by talking to her. If the BM is still stubborn about listening to what the Bride would like the Bride can always decline the party. 
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