My Mother

mel4life08

My mom doesn't really show emotion so when I told her about my engagment she didn't say anything, not even a congratulation. And recent we set our date and once again she didn't she anything. I recently told her about the engagment party and she says I come but I'm not doing anything.  How am I supposed to really be happy if my mom isn't on board? I dreamed of this moment and she is really runining everything.

bstent

I'm really sorry your mom is not sharing in your excitement, that must be really hurtful and disappointing. That being said, remember that this wedding is about marrying a man that you love and creating a family with this man. It really is unfortunate that your mom isn't being supportive, but try to focus on the positives (your future husband, close friends, other family members who are excited for you) and remember that it's your mom's loss.

graysquirrel

That must be difficult and I'm sorry that she isn't excited with you. Is this her normal attitude? Or is there something that she isn't happy about? When we got engaged our parents were not very happy, either. FI's mom's response was "are you sure you want to do this?" because his family is down on the institution of marriage. Could your mom be having similar thoughts? It just seems like there is something deeper going on here. 

I would try to keep including her like you have. I have made sure that my FI spent more time with my family and tried to keep his mom in the loop regarding wedding stuff. She never really responded, but I know that I made a gesture. For us things have sort of worked out, but are still sort of hard. Don't let other people's problems steal your joy!

kmmssg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mother-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:6464aa20-938b-4722-9057-51e1384427ffPost:4d938302-9ccb-4deb-b849-c8a31dde2150">My Mother</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>My mom doesn't really show emotion</strong> so when I told her about my engagment she didn't say anything, not even a congratulation. And recent we set our date and once again she didn't she anything. I recently told her about the engagment party and she says I come but I'm not doing anything.  How am I supposed to really be happy if my mom isn't on board? I dreamed of this moment and she is really runining everything.
Posted by mel4life08[/QUOTE]

I can only imagine how hard that must be, but you need to keep in mind that weddings do not bring out any new behaviors in people.  Kind of sounds like this isn't out of the ordinary for her.  Does she approve of your FI?

You have the choice and power to let the planning and wedding be a wonderful experience for your and FI, or to let it be a sad experience.  You can't depend on your mom for the emotions/experience that your are looking for, but you and FI can make that happen together.  If you go to a dry well looking for water, you will always be thirsty.

Good luck to you. 

Muffin'sMom

Your happiness is inside you...don't let it be dependent on someone else.  Some people just aren't happy...it has nothing to do with you and your life, it is inside them.  Be happy for yourself!  I'm happy for you too...

montyandkellyski

Well that stinks!  I am in the same boat, but both my mother and FMIL are MIA with the wedding planning and excitement.

I was, and still am, very hurt by it, but I figure one day it will hit them (maybe not until the day of) and they will realize what they've missed out on.  I have just gone ahead and planned away.  I'm excited and FI is excited and my father is super excited.  It makes it easier for me to focus on that than on how unexcited our mothers are.

happy planning!!  and though it's a small consolation...I AM EXCITED FOR YOU TOO!!