I have 9 woman walking down the aisle for me. FI's 2 sisters, my two cousins, 4 great lifelong friends and a girl, let me call her J, who has been a great friend and actually set me and FI up. J and I aren't as close as the other girls, but I enjoy her and because of her I'm very happy- she expressed a dire interest in being a BM so I asked her to be.
Fast forward to now. The life long friends, my cousins and one of the sister have planned a destination bachelorette party for me with the promise of doing something larger, cheaper and local when we get back. I wasnt on any of the emails between them, but all my friends and the sister have said how rude J has been about expressing her disinterest in flying to a destination- complaints about cost and privacy and so on. That is completely fine, everyone should spend their money in their own way- I just wish she would be nicer to the other girls when she's expressing herself.
She was unneccesarily rude and snarky, the others said they were dreading her response. The only thing is J hasn't said a peep to me about it and I really think she doesn't realize how much she is allienating herself from the group by doing so. I was honestly embarassed for her when I read one of the emails, because it was so unnecessarily rude.
I would love to just nicely remind her that she will be seeing these people at my events so it would be nice if she didnt create tension.
Can I say anything to her?