Bridesmaid issues or am I being a Bridezilla?

jujub423

Maybe I'm crazy, idk.

2 of my four bridesmaids are very opinionated about what they want to wear and don't want to wear.  We all agreed on the same dresses but my MOH wants to wear hot pink shoes.  My wedding colors are coral/light pink/orange, and the dresses are coral.  I told them all I will pay for their shoes because since they are wearing short dresses I want all their shoes to be the same, but another bridesmaid is dead set on nude pumps, and to be honest, I think that would be better.  But this girl wants to wear her hair half up with a flower in it...well, that's what I'm doing, and to be honest, I don't want to have the same hairstyle as any of my bridesmaids.  I could care less if they even get their hair done--they can wear it down or up, professional or not, whatever.

If I'm not being a bridezilla, how do I explain this to them without sounding like one? I'm an honest person but I'm polite to a fault, especially when it comes to my friends/family.


<a href="http://www.theknot.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Wedding Planning Ideas"><img src="http://global.theknot.com/tickers/tt10007e.aspx" alt="Wedding Countdown Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

jujub423

stupid ticker code, maybe this is the right one?

[url=http://www.theknot.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.theknot.com/tickers/tt10007e.aspx[/img][/url]

vicki0508

your ticker needs to actually go in your sig, not just copied and pasted into your posts.

Summer2011Bride

First, I agree you should take a breather on the attire for another six months or so. It's really early to be hashing all this out.

Having said that, well technically, if you buy the shoes, you can put them in whatever you want. Having said that, shoes are a VERY hard thing to find one that's comfortable on everybody. And there is nothing worse than standing in uncomfortable shoes giving you blisters all day. Would you be OK giving them a shoe color and letting them choose a shoe in that color that they like and don't mind wearing? And I also think the nude color would go best.

For hair, if you aren't paying for them to get it done professionally, you really have no control or say over how they wear it. Everyone will still know you are the bride and TBH, I would not be looking closely enough to say "Wow that one BM has almost the exact same hairstyle as the bride." I think the best thing for now is to take a step back and just think about all this stuff, then revisit in a few months. It'll all work out

jhedge

I would worry about the shoes in a few months. It's too early right now. I am also getting married June 2012, but will probably get the bridemaids attire 6 months before. But I agree that if you are paying, then you should pick the color.

jujub423

Thanks Ladies!

The only reason the dresses have been picked out already is because I had my bridal party come see my dress the day I ordered it, they were looking around and all agreed on a dress that they like.  Everything has been working out so much better than I thought-never thought "the one" would be the 4th dress I tried on!  We definitely won't be ordering their dresses until January, I just know these issues might come up and I want to make sure I'm not being awful.  I do think I was being a little controlling about the hair, I sat back and thought about it and realized it doesn't really matter.  I like the idea of picking the color shoe and having them pick the style! 

I'm just so excited, I love wedding planning and I've been waiting a long time to marry my Fiance..we've been dating on and off since we were 12! (were 26 now).  I just don't want to be like my older sister--all us bridesmaids had to start tanning no later than 3 weeks before the wedding, we all had to have the same hairstyles, and our bridesmaid "gift" was a necklace/earring set for us to wear at the wedding. 

Oh yeah--I'm new to these boards and this site in general, what is my sig, and where do I find it?  I guess I have to put my ticker in my sig but I don't know what that is.

jujub423

nevermind, I figured it out

courtney115

For the shoes, I vote nude. And everyone's right, if you're paying for them, it's your say. As for the hair, I totally understand where you're coming from. My fiance's maid of honor (we're each having a MOH & BM lol) decided that she wanted the same EXACT hair style as me. And she just so happens to be my fiance's sister so... I'm at a loss of words for how to tell her "absoloutely not" without sounding rude, but it's going to bother me so I have to voice it.