FMIL is going to make my head explode (Rant, big time RANT)

sweetpea0911

Okay, this is all NWR but honestly my head is about to explode and if I launch this on poor FI, it's not going to have good consequences.

Let me start by mentioning that FI is currently in the hospital with a near collapsed lung, which either better collapse or stabalize by the end of the weekend or we have to move hospitals to meet with a specialist.  It's the fourth time this has happened to him, and the 5th partial collapse in as many months, so I'm probably not thinking clearly.

BUT FMIL is driving me bonkers!  She is currently "exploring her life options" - she's decided she's gay after 25 years of marriage and is having numerous, blatent affairs.  She finally found someone she "loves" and wants to move in with this person - but DOESN'T want to divorce FFIL.

She can't take care of her children, and is constantly guiltripping J for not "taking her side" of things.  She called me today to see if you could stay with us - she recently announced she is moving out and she is "tired of having to see FFIL every day" (she can't move in with her girlfriend until next month, when the girlfriend starts a new lease).  They live in the same house and she won't SPEAK TO FFIL, not even to tell him updates on J.

I am going to explode if she keeps this up.  She called J, in the hospital, to ask him for his opinion on NEW CURTAINS FOR HER BEDROOM WITH HER GIRLFRIEND.  He's barely able to breathe on his own and when I took the phone to remind her of this, she said, and I quote, "well, tell him to call me back when he can breathe" and HUNG UP.




Oh my god.  How can I live with this for the rest of my life?!?!?!

lalap69

Okay, wow your FMIL is crazy. 

I think this is something that you and FI have to handle together.  The good news is that the two of you are starting your own family together and can see as much or as little of her as you wish.  After FI is better (and I hope he gets better soon, there have been several collapsed lungs in my family, so I understand how scary it is), the two of you should sit down and decide which boundaries are right for you, then make those boundaries clear and stick to them. 

Just try to remember that this is still your FI's mother no matter how crazy she's acting.  How has your FI been handling the changes?

quotequeen

Uh, I hope you told her no about moving in with you!

sweetpea0911

Trust me, the word NO was the first thing I said.

FI is not handling things, as it is.  He wants to, but he just can't.  when he's not fighting to breathe, he's handling things as well as I would expect him to, but right now, the less family drama he has, the better.

I was in the irrational mode last night, but I'm better today.  I need to be patient with her, I know - if she would just stop playing these games with his family, I would have more patience.  But she's going to be here for a long time, so I need to take a few deep breaths and move on.

But thanks for the validation that I'm not crazy =]

MrsParker6411

OMG. Thats all I can say.

I would be losing my mind too.

ekcastillo

Wow...good luck.  I know it's difficult enough dealing with an illness without adding THIS to the mix.  Just try to enjoy the company of those friends and family members who love and support you and your fiance, and who don't try to make their stress and personal issues your own.

tommyandy

" I'm concentrating on getting FI healthy right now & don't have time for you" click.  But I'm a protective person when it comes to my FI.