Ok all, I need help with this. long story so please bear with:
So a little fiance background: got engaged dec 2010, I started wedding planning right away, only to encounter many relationship & financial problems. I put planning on hold, me & fiance been working out our issues, & are still having wedding (dealing w major cost-cutting tho). With the planning on hold since jan, my inner bride has been dying to get back into business.
A little MOH background: is my sister, we've been close friends up until she turned 19 & thinks she's the s**t. Not to mention she is graduating from HS in june and goes to college in July. She never has liked my fiance, doesnt even respect him. Im going to her grad party but he isnt allowed to come, & if im hanging out with her, Im not allowed to even speak his name. I say "allowed" cuz the moment i say something about him, she says "this is u&me time i dont wanna hear about him. plainly speaking she makes it well known she begrudges him for the times he has hurt me, in which case obviously ive forgiven him otherwise i wouldnt be getting married.
Ok so all that being said, here is my big issue. So since the planning has been on hold i havent been talking shop much esp to my sis, knowing she dont wanna hear his name. Well now that I am back in my "game" im starting planning again, esp since Im a year away (wedding: may 12, 2012). My sis hasnt done much as MOH anyway, and I read posts saying that all she has to do is show up & be pretty. Fine with me, Im not expecting her to work plans out, i have others for that. I would just like to TALK about the wedding, get advice, get ideas. Im not asking her to pay or make my plans, only to TALK which any bridal attendant should be willing to do. SO the other day I ask her a question about guest list cutting. no work involved simply wanted an opinon. Here is wut I get:
"I cant effin deal with ur s**t right now ive got my own stresses to deal with, ur wedding is a year away, chill ok"
WOW ok this is in text too but i can hear her attitude. I said "i know ur stressed I was a teen too i remember wut its like to get into the adult world. and hun i have been chill on my wedding all im doing is asking a question"
her: "ur always trying to talk to me about wedding stuff and i dont effin care, ive got my own s**t to deal with if u need a MOH right now then get someone else"
more WOW. I dont know wut's up ur
@$$, but i tried to be calm and tell her :look all im doing is asking u 1 damn question, u never let me talk about the wedding or andrew. 1 damn question, ur response is so uncalled for. if ur too busy u coulda just said so"
so this happened last night, then this morning she texts me and shes like: u have no idea wut im going thru right now ok i dont have time for ur wedding stuff i dont wanna be ur MOH
Last night and this morning ive cried, this is my sister, i cant believe wut kind of hell she is giving me. do i have right to be upset? does she have right to lash out?
So I have 3 bridesmaids but one of them is the closest besides my sis. So Ive already talked to her and she said if my sister is serious about relinquishing her MOH title then she will happily take place. Which Im thankful for. esp since sarah (the bridesmaid im talking about) isnt the "typical MOH to look pretty" she really is the one person all us brides need: she will help me with plans she will try to coordinate things. granted she is in PA, so from where I live in CA thats gonna be hard. but she said she'd find a way to help me. Makes me feel like I shoulda picked her as MOH in the first place. esp since her kids are my godkids so we are that close. but i thought id do my sis the honor, when it turns out she doesnt wanted it.
and another thing: so earlier i said im going to her grad party. cant make it to her grad day cuz i have school finals. she's been ok with that so far. when she said she didnt want to be MOH i said fine are u gonna want to be bridesmaid too or u gonna throw that out the window? she said: I dont even know if ill be at ur wedding ill be in school. WOW so she is getting revenge cuz i cant make it to her grad day but i am going to grad party. i said: i love u but if u deliberately dont come to my wedding ill never forgive u. she didnt text me anymore after that.
so, the way my sis is she aint gonna talk to me for atlest a week if not more. fine ill let her cool down. ive already decided i dont want her as MOH anymore, have my bestie who is willing to go above and beyond the MOH stance. But if she apologizes do I count her as bridesmaid? and if she doesnt do I not have her in wedding at all?She is my closest sister (my eldest sister is the"black sheep" of our family so she dont talk to anyone, and my 15yr sis im pretty much not allowed to be close to her - my family is christian, im pagan. that's another story, dont ask)
ive always included her in the biggest parts of my life. but shes already make it perfectly clear she doesnt want fiance as bro-in-law. and now shes having this MOH-zilla B**chfest with me.
*loud sigh* ok so there's my drama