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MOH = MIA

adamkatweddingadamkatwedding
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in Moms and Maids
So... my college roommate with thrilled to be my MOH when I asked her in November, but has not returned calls/texts/e-mails about anything (wedding related or not) since Christmas.  I havn't spoken to her in months, and we used to talk once  a week!  My mother, and other maids have tried to contact her to no avail... thoughts? 
"I once held a live hummingbird in my hand. I once married a Bryn Mawr girl. To a large extent they are twin experiences" -E.B White
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Re: MOH = MIA

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    vicki0508vicki0508 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Are you worried as a friend or are you worried as a bride? 

    As a friend, I'd be concerned that something is really wrong.  Is she missing?  Is she just ignoring you?  Is her life just too hectic to be "bothered" with wedding details?  Something just sounds really wrong if you used to be so close and you haven't spoken in four months.  Are you able to contact her family to at least make sure she's ok?
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    adamkatweddingadamkatwedding
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    edited December 2011
    Good question!  I am worried about her as a friend, but also selfishly wishing I had my best friend to talk to before the big day.  

    "I once held a live hummingbird in my hand. I once married a Bryn Mawr girl. To a large extent they are twin experiences" -E.B White
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    jilld82jilld82
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-mia-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:7cf7cc98-2787-43aa-b6bc-e5ff89d0c012Post:3d5803a0-906e-4e8e-875f-9f81b22ea28a">Re: MOH = MIA</a>:
    [QUOTE]Good question!  I am worried about her as a friend, but also selfishly wishing I had my best friend to talk to before the big day.  
    Posted by adamkatwedding[/QUOTE]

    I would probably not worry about your big day and make sure your friend is actually ok.
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    KateG528KateG528 member
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    edited December 2011
    Call her parents if you have access to their number. You can even google their number because a lot of numbers are listed in google phone book.  Something may be seriously wrong if she is not talking to you.  If you arent able to get in touch with her, I suggest picking another MOH, because 4 months is a long time to go without any sort of contact. Contine trying. Good luck and I hope and pray your friend is okay.  
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    jerseydeviljerseydevil member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-mia-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:7cf7cc98-2787-43aa-b6bc-e5ff89d0c012Post:408326a0-3b18-40cf-846f-749946c87bdc">Re: MOH = MIA</a>:
    [QUOTE]Call her parents if you have access to their number. You can even google their number because a lot of numbers are listed in google phone book.  Something may be seriously wrong if she is not talking to you.  If you arent able to get in touch with her, <strong>I suggest picking another MOH</strong>, because 4 months is a long time to go without any sort of contact. Contine trying. Good luck and I hope and pray your friend is okay.  
    Posted by KateG528[/QUOTE]

    That would be an unnecessary slap in the face to her and a friendship ending move. OP already asked her.

    What if something is seriously wrong?
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    jilld82jilld82
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-mia-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:7cf7cc98-2787-43aa-b6bc-e5ff89d0c012Post:408326a0-3b18-40cf-846f-749946c87bdc">Re: MOH = MIA</a>:
    [QUOTE]Call her parents if you have access to their number. You can even google their number because a lot of numbers are listed in google phone book.  Something may be seriously wrong if she is not talking to you. <strong> If you arent able to get in touch with her, I suggest picking another MOH, because 4 months is a long time to go without any sort of contact.</strong> Contine trying. Good luck and I hope and pray your friend is okay.  
    Posted by KateG528[/QUOTE]

    This is really poor advice.  OP don't listen to this.
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    LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Is she close enough that you could show up at her door? Are there other friends that you know that have talked to her recently? I'd be worried she was dead if I hadn't heard back from a friend in that long.
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    indiana108indiana108 member
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    edited December 2011
    seriously, if something was really wrong with your MOH I am sure you would have heard about it.  I'm sure you are worried..and Im sure you have her best interest in mind.  Keep trying to get in touch.  You definitely  need to have a "heart to heart" talk.  Could it be possible that she may have a reason to not want to be in the wedding, and doesn't know how to tell you/?  Good luck
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    KateG528KateG528 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-mia-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:7cf7cc98-2787-43aa-b6bc-e5ff89d0c012Post:babbb838-f02f-466f-b7d0-e9725179a064">Re: MOH = MIA</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOH = MIA : <strong>This is really poor advice.  OP don't listen to this.</strong>
    Posted by jilld82[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Note that I said "If you cant get in contact with her" because if she continues to be absent, how is she supposed to get a dress, and know when and where to be for the wedding. Normally I would never suggest replacing someone, but in this case if the girl has not even contacted her and wont respond to anyone trying to get in touch with her, then clearly she is not interested in being a part of this wedding.  </div><div>
    </div><div>And also note that I suggested trying to get in touch with parents and doing everything possible to make sure she is okay first.</div>
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    deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-mia-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:7cf7cc98-2787-43aa-b6bc-e5ff89d0c012Post:88fb3abc-1bb1-41af-a719-48ab8fb7f918">Re: MOH = MIA</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOH = MIA : Note that I said "If you cant get in contact with her" because if she continues to be absent, how is she supposed to get a dress, and know when and where to be for the wedding. Normally I would never suggest replacing someone, but in this case if the girl has not even contacted her and wont respond to anyone trying to get in touch with her, then clearly she is not interested in being a part of this wedding.   And also note that I suggested trying to get in touch with parents and doing everything possible to make sure she is okay first.
    Posted by KateG528[/QUOTE]

    Just out of curiosity, how would you feel if you were asked to be "replacement" MOH?  Second best?  That's how the replacement is going to feel.  What if the current MOH re-appears next week?  How then do you advise our bride to tell her she's been replaced?

    That's why it's bad advice.  Good luck with your planning though!
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    marinabreezemarinabreeze
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-mia-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:7cf7cc98-2787-43aa-b6bc-e5ff89d0c012Post:3884b4b3-226d-4736-b9a4-275f4428f8e3">Re: MOH = MIA</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>seriously, if something was really wrong with your MOH I am sure you would have heard about it. </strong> I'm sure you are worried..and Im sure you have her best interest in mind.  Keep trying to get in touch.  You definitely  need to have a "heart to heart" talk.  Could it be possible that she may have a reason to not want to be in the wedding, and doesn't know how to tell you/?  Good luck
    Posted by indiana108[/QUOTE]
    That may not necessarily be true.  If God forbid something did happen to the friend or something along those lines, the people closest to the OP may not be able to get in contact with her, or may be too entangled in whatever went on to contact her.  I don't think this is necessarily a safe assumption.

    I think it's important to find out if everything's okay with the friend before even thinking about her role in the wedding.  Life doesn't revolve around our weddings, y'know?  If there was no wedding, what would the OP do if her friend fell off the face of the earth?  That's what she needs to do.  Her friend's well-being is more important than her role in the wedding.
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    adamkatweddingadamkatwedding
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    thanks for the advice girls.  she lives in the next state, so i am planning to visit the starbucks she works at this weekend. wish me luck! 
    "I once held a live hummingbird in my hand. I once married a Bryn Mawr girl. To a large extent they are twin experiences" -E.B White
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    LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
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    edited December 2011
    Good luck!
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    KateG528KateG528 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Good luck. I hope everything is okay with her. 
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