I am not sure if i'm crazy, confused because I've never done this before or what but I need a little advice on what to do with these ladies.
FMIL situation: FI and his family moved into their house about 12 years ago, and his mother became quiet good friend with his neighbour (who is crazy) over the past few years. Let me make is clear that crazy neighbour was never a part of his life, just friends with his mom. In fact there have been many situations where crazy neighbour has really stepped on FI's toes, and crossed over lines, (which I will not get into here). She is just nuts, and overtly nosey. FI has made it MORE than clear that he does not want her involed in our wedding in any way shape or form. He refuses to even be at his mother's house when this looney-toon is there. FMIL was insisting for a while that crazy neighbour be invited to the wedding, FI and FMIL got into a huge argument in our living room about the situation, and he said either crazy neighbour will be there, or he will be there (at the wedding) to which FMIL said "oh we can talk about this later" and she keeps trying to bring it up! If that wasn't bad enough she is trying to drag me into it, every time I reply the same way "This is between you and your son. He is the one that I am marrying, and this is up to him, whatever he chooses I will support his decision", which she goes on to try and pressure me to allow crazy neighbour to be invited!
Everythign was okay and quiet for a while until it got leaked to me that FMIL is now ASKING crazy neighbour for help with MY shower and with the social (pre-wedding party, big in Manitoba, no where else) along with the next day brunch! The part that really pisses me off about this, more than FMIL going behind our back to let this happen, is that if she were to ask any of our aunts, sisters, BMs, MOH, cousins, they would be MORE than thrilled to help out any way they could, instead she is allowing someone that FI HATES to have a fairly large role in helping plan events for me/us.
I have no idea what to do anymore. FI tried talking to her once, and honestly I do not really want ot get into it with FMIL, but I am really worried that she is going to destroy her relationship with her son.
On top of this FMIL said the other day that WE are making it really hard on HER by not inviting crazy neighbour! FI flew off the handle at this, and nothing else was said. How are we making it harder on her? She is making it hared on herself!
Anyone have words of wisdom??