I used to be a bridesmaid *vent* this is kinda long. sorry.

footballwife77

Sorry for just throwing this out there, but I thought this was better than plastered all over facebook and ruining friendships.

So my friend of about 20 years (we're mid 30's) knew she was getting engaged but didnt want to make an official announcement because they were getting the ring specially made. She moved away to texas about 3 years ago. We've never been super close i was mainly her older sisters friend, but we're still close. We'll she came up back in February. Me, her mom, her sister, and one of her other friends went out shopping and to dinner. At dinner she asked her sister, her friend, and I to be in the wedding. Sure, no problem. I admit was a little surprised she asked me. Okay, fast forward to last weekend. She was up for another visit. She had a barbecue at her dads. I could only stay for an hour because my kid was at his friends house and was being dropped off. So today I get an email. I gotta admit, it was super cute! It was a link announcing her engagement (pictures with music).  Apparently after I left her boyfriend proposed to her at the barbecue. So as i'm watching the pictures one pops up "My bridal party" it's her, her sister, her friend, and some other girl. So i text her and i'm like "hey, did I get kicked out of the wedding? I hope I atleast get an invite to it". she texted back and said she just got so busy she forgot and she thought her sister would say something to me and she had to drop 2 out of her party because her fiance only had 3. blah blah blah.

My problem? So was she even going to TELL me? i'm a litte hurt and a little mad that she didn't have the decensy (sp?) to let me know right off the bat. I don't know what i'm looking for here. I guess I just needed to get that off my chest. Thanks in advance for listening.

Summer2011Bride

That sucks and it was super crappy of her to do that. Not only did she ask you and kick you out, but she is doing so just to have an even number of people on each side, which is ridiculous. If I got invited to her wedding, I would probably not go.

Maggie0829

Count yourself lucky and move on.  It sounds like she is going to be a peach of a bride.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_i-used-to-be-a-bridesmaid-vent-this-is-kinda-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:8028504d-0c06-4b71-b3ec-03644d800356Post:f8f5d808-9722-4c11-a531-4fe7bd703026">I used to be a bridesmaid *vent* this is kinda long. sorry.</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry for just throwing this out there, but I thought this was better than plastered all over facebook and ruining friendships. So my friend of about 20 years (we're mid 30's) knew she was getting engaged but didnt want to make an official announcement because they were getting the ring specially made. She moved away to texas about 3 years ago. We've never been super close i was mainly her older sisters friend, but we're still close. We'll she came up back in February. Me, her mom, her sister, and one of her other friends went out shopping and to dinner. At dinner she asked her sister, her friend, and I to be in the wedding. Sure, no problem. I admit was a little surprised she asked me. Okay, fast forward to last weekend. She was up for another visit. She had a barbecue at her dads. I could only stay for an hour because my kid was at his friends house and was being dropped off. So today I get an email. I gotta admit, it was super cute! It was a link announcing her engagement (pictures with music).  Apparently after I left her boyfriend proposed to her at the barbecue. So as i'm watching the pictures one pops up "My bridal party" it's her, her sister, her friend, and some other girl. So i text her and i'm like "hey, did I get kicked out of the wedding? I hope I atleast get an invite to it". she texted back and said she just got so busy she forgot and she thought her sister would say something to me and she had to drop 2 out of her party because her fiance only had 3. blah blah blah. My problem? So was she even going to TELL me? i'm a litte hurt and a little mad that she didn't have the decensy (sp?) to let me know right off the bat. I don't know what i'm looking for here. I guess I just needed to get that off my chest. Thanks in advance for listening.
Posted by footballwife77[/QUOTE]

She values numbers over people. Consider yourself lucky to have dodged this bullet.

GoodLuckBear14

You're lucky to only have limited contact with someone so superficial thta they value numbers over people.

RebeccaB88

So... she asked you to be a bridesmaid BEFORE she was even engaged, then kicked you out without telling you and thought someone else would do her dirty work for her?

Count yourself lucky that you don't have to be friends with this rude woman anymore.  If this was me, the friendship would be over effective immediately.

augurey

Sounds almost exactly what happened to me with my brother and sister-in-laws wedding.

I'm really sorry that she did that to you. It really is hurtful, but like the others said, maybe this worked out in your best interest (even though that it doesn't hurt any less).

mamabear329

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_i-used-to-be-a-bridesmaid-vent-this-is-kinda-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:8028504d-0c06-4b71-b3ec-03644d800356Post:7f03d7a6-b0f7-48d2-a347-4b871cc5c1d3">Re: I used to be a bridesmaid *vent* this is kinda long. sorry.</a>:
[QUOTE]That sucks and it was super crappy of her to do that. Not only did she ask you and kick you out, but she is doing so just to have an even number of people on each side, which is ridiculous. If I got invited to her wedding, I would probably not go.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

Totally agree with this....My FI and I are having an uneven number because we have certain people who we love and want to stand up with us...I will have 6 girls, he will have 4 guys (possibly 3 if his marine friend can't get leave)...either way, the important people in our lives will be there to share our day, numbers don't matter to us!

I'm sorry your "friend" did that to you, it really is unbelievably rude...