This really is a bit of a confusing situation with a friend of mine. We've been friends about 3 years and she had the idea I should propose to my then boyfriend, Matt. I wasn't up for proposing to him but as we were going through some hellish times I got him a promise ring which he loved, anyway!
However, when Matt popped the question last year (3rd February- under the stars, more on that later!) I was eager to ask my mate to be my Chief Bridesmaid as she'd been so great with helping me plan it all. Sure we had our differences in our ideas of a good hen night, but I took her to one of our favourite pubs and asked her over a drink if she'd like to be my chief bridesmaid. Normally, when you ask a girl that question, they gets all cooey and doey-eyed about being involved in a wedding. Instead, she just told me that she doesn't know because of her commitments with work and charity work. Thinking I'd be considerate, I asked her if she would just like to be a bridesmaid, to take some of the pressure off, which she agreed to.
Now, here's my problem. Between times we have as good as fallen apart. I've arranged to meet her for catch up chats several times and each time she's really stressed and can't make it, when I see her she's bogged down with other people's problems and asks me for advice (I'm a carer, so I have my own matters to worry about as well). we both did some charity work but she'd ask me to donate my recipes to her charity, ask to sell her produce at my pitch and generally inundate me with her charity woes. Only by my assertive attitude did I manage to keep our efforts separate and keep my cake sales for my chosen charity, which she promptly never turned up at since.
Everytime we chat I have to initiate the conversation by text, we arrange to meet up and the same thing happens. Unfortunately, I've decided to cut my losses and realise our friendship is probably not salvagable without maximum effort. I still have 2 bridesmaids, a chief bridesman and a flower girl, but I think I have to let my third bridesmaid go. What do you think and how do I tell her? Thanks