Moms and Maids

FMIL dress color help.

My FMIL is very nice lady and has welcomed me in her family. When it comes to our wedding, she is very excitable and means well. However, I was discouraged that she wanted a white and black MOG dress even though my dress is also white and black. (I'm not wearing a veil or a train. I think people would know I'm the bride based on youth.) But, I'm uncertain if I should say to her about picking a different color. 

I also asked her not to pick the same colors as my BM. I haven't decided on the color because I wanted them to go with me and we can decide as a group. I prefer to run things as a democracy rather than a dictatorship. She advised me that I should just picked whatever color for them. I believe that my FMIL wants me to do this, so she can focus on her dress.

I'm really excited that she is happy for us. But, I'm concerned that she will purchase a dress that is the same color as mine and not wait for me to choose my BM dresses.

How should I handle this without hurting her feelings?

Re: FMIL dress color help.

  • edited December 2011
    Agree with PP.

    It's obvious she's really excited to get her dress, and because you haven't selected your BM's colors, to her your sort of putting her dress shopping at a halt.

    I completely understand how your feeling, and think she may be worried about her dress a little too soon. If she wants to start looking now, suggest that she find a dress she likes that has multiple color options and just request that she hold off selecting a color and purchasing until your colors are selected.

    Good luck :)
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  • em01092em01092 member
    edited December 2011
    You can give her ideas and suggestions, but if she already bought a dress, I think it would be rude to say something. Yeah, it's odd she will be wearing your colors, but at the end of the day, your good relationship with your FMIL is way more important than one day's attire and she will look like the fool for matching you, not the other way around. 
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  • edited December 2011
    Each mom should choose a dress that suits her individual style. The MOB and MOG don't have to match or complement each other, the wedding party or the decor. It's one thing to ask her not to wear the same color as you, the bride, will be wearing, but it's unfail to ask her to stay away from the bms' color, also.

    You should politely ask her not to wear a black and white dress. Hopefully, she will understand and cooperate.

    One more point: there are bound to be guests dressed in black and white at your wedding, so if your fmil insists, you shouldn't make a big deal of it.
  • edited December 2011
    My MIL wore a dress from her closet.  She chose it the week before the wedding.  It was the same exact color as the BMs were wearing.

    My wedding was still fabulous.

    Let it go.  She can wear what she wants.  You really don't get a say in her attire.
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