Moms and Maids

offended friend

Recently I became engaged. I am having 6 wonderful girls stand up next to me on my special day. It was hard not to have 30 people stand up so 6 is What I narrowed it down to. When I was younger I was very close to a girl. After high school we lost touch some but would still talk every couple of months. And try and meet up. She is now living 6 hours away and its hard to get a phone call, more less a text... her mother and my mother are "friends" and when her mother found out from mine that I wasn't having her stand up, she told her whole family and they are all furious with me. One of her sister's even posted a snarky remark towards me on facebook saying " if I'm not going to have someone I've known my whole life in my wedding, to not expect to be a part of her life either" .. she also commented and said " she hopes I feel like a complete dumbass when she's not there for me on my big day." ... one of the big reasons that helped me decide not to have her stand up is when I texted her and told her I was engaged she was in town and didn't even tell me. I haven't seen her in over a year, I get engaged, she's in town and says nothing... I know I'm venting but I'm just wondering am I really that awful? I called her today and there was no response. The girls I've chose to stand up are close friends and family and I see all the time. They are always there for me and I see them all the time.. I just don't know what to do. Help!

Re: offended friend

  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_offended-friend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:8d83a103-c1cd-4582-aebc-993a7e030424Post:1ce6d37f-57d4-4069-bcc0-ffc5f6e92a95">offended friend</a>:
    [QUOTE]Recently I became engaged. I am having 6 wonderful girls stand up next to me on my special day. It was hard not to have 30 people stand up so 6 is What I narrowed it down to. When I was younger I was very close to a girl. After high school we lost touch some but would still talk every couple of months. And try and meet up. She is now living 6 hours away and its hard to get a phone call, more less a text... her mother and my mother are "friends" and when her mother found out from mine that I wasn't having her stand up, she told her whole family and they are all furious with me. One of her sister's even posted a snarky remark towards me on facebook saying " if I'm not going to have someone I've known my whole life in my wedding, to not expect to be a part of her life either" .. she also commented and said " she hopes I feel like a complete dumbass when she's not there for me on my big day." ... one of the big reasons that helped me decide not to have her stand up is when I texted her and told her I was engaged she was in town and didn't even tell me. I haven't seen her in over a year, I get engaged, she's in town and says nothing... I know I'm venting but I'm just wondering am I really that awful? I called her today and there was no response. The girls I've chose to stand up are close friends and family and I see all the time. They are always there for me and I see them all the time.. I just don't know what to do. Help!
    Posted by milosh5[/QUOTE]

    Your friend sounds very immature.  I would also probably not concern myself with her anymore.  I would also not respond to her immaturity.  Be the bigger person.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited February 2013
    I wouldn't give it another thought. You did nothing wrong, and Olive is right about her being immature.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • She's not eligible to be your BM.

    BMs are girls who have been very close with the bride RECENTLY, and who have been with her through her courtship with her groom.

    This girl is just someone you know.  She's does not meet the criteria for a BM.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_offended-friend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:8d83a103-c1cd-4582-aebc-993a7e030424Post:ffe0e9e4-a260-482b-a2aa-d21ffc0de91a">Re: offended friend</a>:
    [QUOTE]She's not eligible to be your BM. BMs are girls who have been very close with the bride RECENTLY, and who have been with her through her courtship with her groom. Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

    Only in your world, Kristen. Only in your world.
  • One of the wonderful bridesmaids I have standing up said to me " a wedding is about love family and friends all coming together, it isn't a day where you're supposed to find out who your true friends are." I just can't believe I have a whole family mad at me for not "choosing the right bridesmaids." I have been trying to get a hold of this friend, but still am unable, which is not too unusual as she is very busy and hard to get a hold of. I feel terrible that I have her family attacking me on facebook... I don't know what they expect me to do?
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