Bridesmaid Dress - Help!

hanccl04

Hey ladies!

You have all been so helpful with my other posts, I felt the need to get some more input.

Here's the scoop: my wedding is in exactly 11 days. (YAY!) However, I am concerned one of my bridesmaids (also my cousin) won't be able to fit in her dress. The dresses were ordered Mid-February, maybe even early March and they came in sometime in April. When she tried and ordered the dress, it fit her just right. However, my concern is that it will no longer fit. She has put on weight, I haven't said anything to her, because weight has always been an obstacle for her and I didn't want to make her feel bad. Her dress was at my mom's house (her aunts) until early May, and during that time, I constantly texted, called, Facebook'd her reminding her to pick up her dress, she needs to try it on, etc. Well I ended up having her mom take it hom at my bridal shower, and she has yet to try it on.

My biggest concern is that the dress won't fit her anymore and there won't be time for her to get it altered. If it doesn't fit what should I do? We are the same age, we graduated high school together and have been best friends for our entire lives, I would feel awful if her dress didn't fit and there was no time to correct this issue and maybe have to tell her she can't be in the wedding...I just don't know what to do in this situation. I really don't want to be the bride that says "Oh well since your dress doesn't fit you're not in the wedding" but I'm not sure what else to do.

Help!! 

Thanks for any and all advice/feedback.

And I hope I am not coming off wrong, that is not my intention. Trust me, I want her in the wedding!

StephBeanWed61502

If she doesn't fit into the dress, send her to David's Bridal or Macy's or something to see what she can find off the rack in the same color that does fit.  Your wedding won't explode just because she's wearing a different dress from the other girls.

hanccl04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-dress-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:91b70aa7-efac-4fa8-a64a-d9af57a3bba9Post:f5b1f2b7-3d8a-49f0-8552-ff93ae456ebe">Re: Bridesmaid Dress - Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]If she doesn't fit into the dress, send her to David's Bridal or Macy's or something to see what she can find off the rack in the same color that does fit.  Your wedding won't explode just because she's wearing a different dress from the other girls.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I've thought about this, but with her work schedule and financial state, I don't think she would be able to get a new dress in time. Like I said, the wedding is in 11 days and the closest DB os over 2 hours away, and my biggest concern is time. We do have a JCP and Bon-Ton near us, maybe she could find something there, I will definitely suggest it. </div>

OwningAHome1981

I think it is awful to tell her she can't be in the wedding just b/c of a dress... especially too since she is your cousin. I would see if she can find a similar dress in the same colour.

Has she actually tried on the dress or are you just assuming it wont fit? It may end up fitting her just fine... and I don't know about you or most people, but I always order my BM dresses a size bigger and wait like a month or 2 before the wedding to alter it just in case my body changes.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-dress-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:91b70aa7-efac-4fa8-a64a-d9af57a3bba9Post:99026ddc-13ab-4c69-85f3-e2e1124ae7e3">Re: Bridesmaid Dress - Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid Dress - Help! : I've thought about this, but with her work schedule and financial state, I don't think she would be able to get a new dress in time. Like I said, the wedding is in 11 days and the closest DB os over 2 hours away, and my biggest concern is time. We do have a JCP and Bon-Ton near us, maybe she could find something there, I will definitely suggest it. 
Posted by hanccl04[/QUOTE]

If that's the case, then let her wear something she already owns that's of the appropriate formality.  At the end of the day, what's more important to you - having all your bridesmaids in the same dress and kicking her out of the wedding party for the sake of uniformity, or including somebody close to you, even if she doesn't perfectly "match" the others?

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-dress-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:91b70aa7-efac-4fa8-a64a-d9af57a3bba9Post:18c333bd-e940-4ac1-b176-6bcbaea87844">Re: Bridesmaid Dress - Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid Dress - Help! : Okay, I thought I was nuts because I was reading the responses and thinking "where did the OP ask about kicking her cousin out?"  Glad to know I'm not crazy... or at least that you're sitting next to me if I am.  :)
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I think it was this sentence -<em> " I really don't want to be the bride that says "Oh well since your dress doesn't fit you're not in the wedding" but I'm not sure what else to do."</em> - that got some people thinking she was considering kicking her cousin out of the wedding over this.  She was also a little obtuse in response to my "let her buy a new dress" suggestion with the whole "oh, we're far away from David's, she's got a really busy work schedule and she's broke" spiel.

Lambbop

I was the bridesmaid this happened to! I ordered my dress over Christmas break when I was home from Alaska. When I got back to North Dakota at the end of the semester for the wedding, my dress didn't fit!! My weight had stayed exactly the same, but I had taken up rock climbing and built up a lot of upper body muscle which kind of bulked me up inthe chest/back.

When I reaized as soon as I got back (also with just over a week to the wedding) I ended up getting some super suctiony corset thing to wear under the dress and a back-up cardigan to wear JIC I had to leave the back unzipped. The bridesmaid dresses were black and the wedding colors were red and black so I picked up a coordinating red cardigan JIC. (With the bride's approval.) IF needed your bridesmaid could try something like that. Sometimes undergarments work wonders.

I ended up laying on the floor sucking in my guts so the other girls could (all 3) work together to zip me up. I kind of screamed at the photographer to point her camera elsewhere..... but I'm sure she understood. It was mighty uncomfortable, but I survived. Definitely not my proudest moments laying on the floor yelling at a photographer.... but certainly a memory the bride and I still share.

Everything will work out!

hanccl04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-dress-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:91b70aa7-efac-4fa8-a64a-d9af57a3bba9Post:26428c83-7896-44a8-9214-e593618de640">Re: Bridesmaid Dress - Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid Dress - Help! : I think it was this sentence - " I really don't want to be the bride that says "Oh well since your dress doesn't fit you're not in the wedding" but I'm not sure what else to do." - that got some people thinking she was considering kicking her cousin out of the wedding over this.  She was also a little obtuse in response to my "let her buy a new dress" suggestion with the whole "oh, we're far away from David's, she's got a really busy work schedule and she's broke" spiel.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

It wasn't a "spiel"; it was an explanation on how having her order a similar dress from DB was essentially out of the question. Besides, I'm not going to make her buy a new dress when she can't afford one. It's not fair to her at all. I'm sorry if you mistook what I wrote.

hanccl04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-dress-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:91b70aa7-efac-4fa8-a64a-d9af57a3bba9Post:b8795405-cd20-4fa2-90d0-67dfa113186c">Re: Bridesmaid Dress - Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it is awful to tell her she can't be in the wedding just b/c of a dress... especially too since she is your cousin. I would see if she can find a similar dress in the same colour. Has she actually tried on the dress or are you just assuming it wont fit? It may end up fitting her just fine... and I don't know about you or most people, but I always order my BM dresses a size bigger and wait like a month or 2 before the wedding to alter it just in case my body changes.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

She hasn't tried on the dress, and I feel as if she is putting it off a little because she is self conscious about her weight and I don't want to make her feel worse. And I never said I didn't want her in the wedding, I have read elsewhere and that is what other people [not on TK] have been saying they would do.
Ordering a size bigger was brought up at the original fitting, but to be honest I'm not sure if she did end up ordering a size bigger.

I spoke with her this evening and she is hoping to have her sister [who is also in the wedding] bring the dress to her since the work in the same city so she can try it on before the weekend so she will have a week to figure everything out.

hanccl04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-dress-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:91b70aa7-efac-4fa8-a64a-d9af57a3bba9Post:8904e574-96f3-4ec0-a6b1-9e4399226640">Re: Bridesmaid Dress - Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid Dress - Help! : OP never ONCE suggested her cousin not be in the wedding.  She's asking how to solve a potential problem so that her cousin will be comfortable at the wedding. OP, I applaud your flexibility and loyalty to your cousin.  You rock.
Posted by 1covejack[/QUOTE]


Thank you! She is really one of my best friends, and I want her in the wedding. And like I stated before, if the dress doesn't fit and with very little time to correct any big issues, I'm stuck on what to do if it doesn't fit because money is a big issue and I would feel terrible asking her to buy a new dress.